Stool Withholding & Nursery -3 Year Old

[cxp845]

My son started 15 hours a week free nursery provision in January after turning 3 on 28 Dec. He had constipation when younger and has been on and off Cosmocol (macrogol stool softener) since about 18 months old.

He only toilet trained just before starting nursery and decided he didn't want to use their toilets and indeed then didn't want to poo ever again. Stool withholding started. He's in pants all day and nappy at night purely as a back up.

The school nursery suggested he take some time at home to work on the issue as he was soiling in class and they do not take non toilet trained children.

They've now informed me that he will shortly lose his nursery place and as the issue is not resolved he will have to find another nursery that will take children who soil. We are doing everything I think we can but it will not be solved overnight for him.

I understand there are lots of rights for mandatory school age children to clarify the role schools must play in supporting them but I really don't know where I stand with the nursery. I researched hard when choosing and he really likes the nursery. It would be a real blow to start from scratch in choosing another and settling him in again. Does a school nursery have the right just to turn him away?

If so what's the best way to find a nursery that will support him? It's not like the local government website list of provisions includes a flag for 'positive about poo'.

Sorry for the rambling but would really appreciate any help/insight you have. I've been lurking on here and found your posts really helpful when supporting my boy.

Best regards

[Surfer_rosa]

Hiya, sorry for your stress! I think your nursery should be supporting your child if you consider his soiling to be a medical condition. I think 'stool withholding'is. Is your GP supportive? Would they be able to write you a letter if necessary? Is your nursery attached to a school? In which case they should have a SENCO (special needs coordinator) that you can ask to speak to and they should make 'reasonable provision' for your child's needs. E.g. maybe he can wear nappy pants until the issue is resolved and he can have supervised help to change the pants if necessary. Most under fives nurseries accept babies and toddlers and therefore help with toilet training - so I'm guessing it's not this kind of nursery? In the meantime you might see if you can push for an evening 'poo routine' toilet sit or whatever with lots of praise for sitting even if it produces nothing for weeks. Maybe in time: dinner, toilet sit and bath will become the routine so he never needs to go during the day (Sorry I bet you've tried a lot of this already). Have you read 'Stool Withholding by Sophia Ferguson? Good luck with everything, I feel your pain - the whole area of toiletting is such a continuous struggle!

[14crosstitch14]

I really not sure, it may set him back even more. I'm still struggling with my 5 year old. She's stopped pooing at now its been 5 days since she came back from her mum's. I have a poo app called poo gose to poo land. Another suggested useing bubbles when on the toilet maybe something else to concentrate on for him.