4 year old soiling pants and started school

[Sarah2104]

Hi I have a 4 year old who has just started school and he is under a consultant for constipation due to stool withholding when he started potty training 2 and bit years ago. He is on movicol and we up and reduce his dosage depending on how he is and currently on 1.5 sachets a day. At home he will go for a poo in potty or toilet after dinner or breakfast if he needs too (we sit him on it after each meal as reccomeded) and will at other times but i have to prompt him when i think he needs to go. but if out and he needs to go he doesn't tell us or teacher and will go in pants. Last few days he has gone during carpet time at school at end of day and today he said he didnt want to miss out on carpet time so he knows he needs to go but is scared of missing out on things. Does anyone have any tips on what I can do to help him with this? We have asked the teacher to sit him on toilet after lunch and now before carpet time which they did but he didnt go but then did come our of school with soiled pants (i put liners in). I am losing my mind over this and tried rewards and charts but he just says oh well when he doesn't get his reward because he went in pants. Can anyone help?? Please.

[Cat_lady_44]

I don’t have any answers, but just to reassure you that he won’t be the only one. It’s very common. My 5 year old daughter does this, she refuses to use the school toilet and will often come home have soiled her pants (I use dry like me pads to catch it). She’s not constipated also on movicol and I think that as they develop they will stop. School is a big change for them so try not to worry.

[Sarah2104 in reply to Cat_lady_44]

Hi thank it's good to know we are not alone in this and I joined this so I could speak to others going through to see if any light at end and get advise as I feel more anxious about it all than he does. he is getting there and I to use the dry like me liners which help but usually still require a change of pants still sometimes. It's just so hard to get him to understand he needs to use the toilet he says he knows he is going so think we have passed the overflow/not knowing he is going which I know he cant help. Thank you for sharing your experience and I hope you have success soon too x

[Cat_lady_44 in reply to Sarah2104]

I think as mums we do feel more worried about it than they do! At this age they’re all having accidents at school and the other children don’t seem to notice. When it happens I try not to make a fuss but just change the pad and remind her that she must use the toilet. We forget that they’re still very little and with so many fun things going on at school, the toilet is the last thing they want to stop to do! Xx

[Sarah2104 in reply to Cat_lady_44]

Very true. I am giving his ipad and a fab ice lolly at end of day if he has a clean day. So far (day 3 today) he hasn't had them so will see today. And every day he comes home and asks for his iPad and I say no u cant because u had an accident. Try again tomorrow and then u can if u have a clean day. So hoping that will help maybe x