Starting to worry

[Spring2019]

My daughter is 4 and still not 100% toilet trained, she is fine with going for a wee but going for a poo she simply doesn't get. We use a mixture of pullups and nappies during the day as she simply isn't aware when she needs to go and will have accidents and becomes very distraught. she doesn't seem to be making any progress, she is aware of what she needs to do but can't seem to do it. I am starting to worry now as it's becoming harder to cover up the fact she is in a pullup or nappy and people can be really cruel. She occasionally will also have a wet pullup/nappy which yes I am putting down to laziness and I don't know how to address this with her.

[rvc123]

Can she communicate with you when she needs to go? Or has she ever been constipated? I ask as for a long time, I thought the fact that my nearly 6 year old couldn’t tell me when she needed to go, or get herself to the toilet, was a failure on my part when we were potty training.

Turned out that due to a bout of constipation when she was three, her wee bowel was stretched and when she was telling me she didn’t feel the need to go, she was right-there was no sensation there to go.

Maybe get an appt with dr and have them have a wee feel to see if there is any blockages there that you need to help move along as a starting point. And just reassure her every time she goes in her pull ups or nappy that it ok-it’s not her fault. For a long time I resented the fact that my otherwise bright and clever wee girl couldn’t get the hang of the toilet and I’d get cross. It was only when I heard about encopresis that I understood it wasn’t her fault. I’m a different parent now.x

[Spring2019 in reply to rvc123]

She's been checked several times and isn't constipated, she simply doesn't seem to know or feel the sensation that she needs to go.m