Bed wetter sometimes... : My 5 year old DD has not yet... - ERIC


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Bed wetter sometimes...

Emmamummy profile image

My 5 year old DD has not yet been fully dry at night and wears nappies / pull ups to bed. Every now and then she will not just wet her nappy but also poo in it too :( She is not constipated as the DR has checked everything and reassures me that she will grow out of bed wetting. I talk to her about it and I she claims that she didn't get to the toilet in time.. but I can tell when she is telling fibs and I think she is doing it because she is too lay to get out of bed and probably thinks that she can wee in a nappy and poo into it too, despite me telling her that that's what babies do and not big girls.. any advice on this... feel very odd to have a 5 year old girl needing a dirty nappy change, which is the last thing I want as I have a 6 month old son. Has anyone else experience this where your bed wetting child is using their night time protection on purpose?? Any advise?? or is mine just the odd one out.. It turns my stomach . Thank you in advance :)

4 Replies

Ther could well be a physical reason why your daughter is a bit on the later side to not being fully dry at night, and additionally doing the poos in her nappy too - I wonder if you could press your doctor for a referral to a health visitor or bedwetting clinic? However, what stands out to me from your post is that she has had a new sibling 6 months ago - therefore she is seeing him getting lots of attention when having his nappy changed, especially at night. Could it possibly be that by doing the same as him she is trying to get attention from you - I’m not for one moment suggesting that you aren’t giving her the same attention as him, but it could be that in her mind, which is too young for really rational thought, she is wanting that attention, and that even your negative attention, when you say to her that what she is doing is only for babies, and that it turns your stomach, (I know you are only saying this bit to us and not saying it to her, but it will come across to her) actually gets her some attention. Is there a way in which you can include her more when doing your baby son’s nappy changes, so that she feels she is getting that attention, without having to do the same thing herself? Is there a responsibility she can take while you are doing them, such as keeping him entertained and happy, or fetching things for you? Can they be times when you chat to her as you do it rather than him? Just some amateur psychology here, sorry, but hope there may be something useful in there!

Thank you but we have always made sure she gets plenty of attention and even involve her with changing her brother (wet ones of course) feeding him etc :) Other than this thing that she does every now and then she is a happy little angel :) Anyone esle got anything else to add?? :)

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with this. It's my son who has the bowel problems in our house, but seeing your post reminded me that my (perfectly healthy) daughter was 5 and at school before she stopped wearing a nappy at night time, and I've spoken to other people since who have said the same about their children. I think it's probably more common than we think. For my daughter there might have been a bit of laziness, but mostly I think she was just a very deep sleeper and had a tendency to use her nappy when only partly awake and therefore not properly thinking through the consequences. She's closer to 6 now and dry at night, but we still lift her out of bed and sit her on the potty when we go to bed as we find that's the best way to avoid any accidents. She normally goes straight through until morning after that, but occasionally she has a second visit. We found that lots of praise for using the potty worked best, rather than being negative if she didn't manage it.

The other thing I would mention is that I can actually remember wedding the bed myself at a similar age because I was scared to get out of bed in the dark (I used to be scared of black dogs on the floor for some reason!). I never told my parents that that was the reason as it always sounded silly in the morning. Do you think that could be a factor? Even now my daughter calls us if she needs the potty in the night rather than taking herself off to the bathroom. My husband and I have developed a system - he does the potty visits and I deal with my son's wake-ups! :)

Emmamummy profile image
Emmamummy in reply to Jellylorum

Thank you so much for showing your solidarity :) Very brave of you as this post is not had many responses, so I guess people are a bit shy about admitting it, either that or they have never come across this. However I was speaking to another Mum yesterday at a play group gathering and she said that her 4 year old is also doing the same thing.. It's like they forget get tried and don't really think about what they are doing!! I just wonder how common it actually is? Anyone else come across this?? :D

I think with this one I'm just going to use positive entrenchments and let it ride itself out.. if it still happens in six - eight months then I will worry a bit more :D

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