Hello can anyone help? : Hi, I am new here and looking... - ERIC


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Hello can anyone help?


Hi, I am new here and looking for advice....

My son is 6 1/2 years old and will not poo in the toilet, he will only poo in a nappy.

He has suffered chronic constipation from the age of 1 and although we have had this under control for a while, I feel the effects mentally are still there. I used to say to him when he did do a poo 'well done, that was a big one' or something like that bearing in mind he wouldn't go for days and days. Now the only reason I can get out of him for not pooing on the toilet are that he thinks his poo is took big and will block the loo - I have tried to explain in so many different ways, left it for him to decide but I just don't know what to do anymore. I have 'run' out of nappies but then he just will not go at all. Has anyone else experienced this? Also I literally have to tell him to have a poo sometimes, he just doesn't seem to need to go or want to go. This morning I said to him you must have a poo (he hasn't been since Monday) and he did one but said he didn't have any feeling that he needed one. Although sometimes he does know he needs one and will tell us then. He does still have a few stooling accidents but not in the past few weeks, that seems to have got a bit better. He is on 2 movicol a day.

3 Replies

Hi Alls123 my daughter is 5 and a half and has soiling problems

A key thing for us was getting her to sit on the toilet for "toilet time" 10 mins after a meal for 5mins, at first she didn't want to sit but we found things to do when on the toilet that she enjoyed reading with me, colouring in or watching a cartoon on the iPad

Sometimes she does something sometimes she doesn't but I reward her regardless a sticker on her chart

I read about this routine through an article on the ERIC website when I was really down about the situation

My daughter still soils but not as much we still have good days and bad days but it's important to carry on with the routine as it could take a while to crack it!! If you find something your son enjoys doing whilst on the toilet that will get him sitting there for a short time to realise it's not a scary place!

It's easier said than done but try not to stress I've done and continue to do plenty of that but it's great this forum is here to share experiences and have a rant when things aren't going well


As Trascal has said routine is the best place to start. Start by getting him to sit on the loo in his nappy/pull up if he feels more comfortable and allow him to relax with his feet up on a stool. If he feels able to go like this move into going without the nappy. We go at the same time everyday and sometime my son will go and sometimes not but it's the routine that's key. Your sons on a maintenance dose so keep that the same and monitor his drinking. The bowl takes a long time to repair if it's been stretched and I maybe the case here. He may well be withholding as he's still worried about it hurting but if the routine works he will settle and relax, if he's still worried it maybe worth trying to get to see a psychologist but in our experience they just advised that things will bet better once he matures which they did but that doesn't help with right now.

Keep up the praise and try playing games while he sits so that he relaxes we used to have a competition to see who can blow a bit of loo roll the highest and my son soon forgot about the problems of he past.

Give it a try. There's a book about where poo goes that might be worth trying but I've forgotten the name ( will try to find it)

Best wishes


I wish I knew where to start.

Our nearly 5 year old suffers from Irratable Bowel, or Rapid Bowel Transit. Certain foods and stresses can exacerbate it and it took a long time to figure all that out.

At the moment his stools are 'normal' as in not too loose and last week was the first time ever that he controlled a loose stool and he got to the toilet, in time. For a long time, he just refused to use the toilet or potty for no2s, so always, always soiled. I read so much stuff, listened to so much advice. Sometimes it was heartbreaking as I didn't want to sound pessimistic but we had 'been there & tried that'. I honestly thought in the end it would go on and on and on.

I can't ever say to you our situation is over, but finally this year we have seen some light at the end of the tunnel. Slowly, slowly, he started having one or more successes on the toilet, once just after our first visit to a pediatric psychologist who actually said little to him but listened to me giving his history. Another time just sitting on the toilet with the ipad. We bought the harmonica and blew bubbles but it was hard to keep him interested.

We have had one whole week of success, last week was the first week at pre-school that he used the toilet and didn't soil himself. A couple of weeks before that, we went on holiday and he had success more than accidents and actually took himself to the toilet in the apartment..... I would never have imagined an unfamiliar environment would have worked but it did.....,

We came home and in our home he was having more successes, but soiling at pre-school. I try to explain that he is so good at this that he can do it at present-school too, to break the 'habit' of doing it there. Bribery never worked, but last week I told him every time he does a poo on the toilet at pre-school he will have a small bag of Haribo sweets waiting for him in the car when I collect him.

Then he watched a program on CBeebies 'how do they do that' I believe it's called, which explained how a toilet is made and works.

I don't know that specific routines helped us, which is something I never heard or read. Just that an incredible amount of time and patience is needed and for the parents reaching out on those very down days. We are doing our best to try and build his self esteem and put him in the control of the situation as far as possible.

Good luck, I don't pretend it's over for us, of course I'd like it to be. But until very recently I couldn't even imagine him at this point. Best wishes x


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