I have recently been diagnosed (finally!) with Endometriosis and Adenomyosis (was very funny trying to spell that to my 81 yr old mother) and I have felt in despair. I did have an initial buzz when I was diagnosed because it had been so long coming and I had been in so much pain. Got on the interweb and saw so many women who had been through the same as me, and that was more heartening than you can possibly imagine!
I felt so positive once I was diagnosed, but I quickly realised how hard it is. Even knowing what you have, there are no rules. My pain abated for a while, then without rhyme or reason it came back, and I spent the next three days in my bed in and out of pain or doped up on codeine. I couldn't really communicate with anyone. The most horrible thing is that your world becomes so small when you are in pain. I am cancelling calls because I can't face talking to anyone. I am a musician, and I have never not done gigs, even with flu, and last Thursday I had to bow out of the second gig in the last few months because of this illness. This is alien to me. Music heals. But when I am in that much pain I can't do anything. I find it very frightening, how much I am reduced by it. This just isn't me. I feel like this illness is sapping my soul. I am one of the most social souls around (they call me the Queen of Crouch End) but when I am in the midst of this pain I am small and nothing. I don't want to see anyone and even my family. I know I need to get the pain management sorted and I have tried, but so far I am either totally doped out or writhing around. I can't believe something has reduced me so. Help!