I can’t cope

[Ps-endo]

this isn’t so much to ask for advice, I just need a safe space I can openly talk.

I am struggling to cope physically and mentally at the moment. I have constant debilitating pain, I’m a mum, and a uni student and it’s all too much. My partner works hard so he doesn’t understand how difficult daily life is looking after our child, studying and keeping on top of the household. I feel like he’s starting to resent me for feeling so down all the time but I feel so alone and trapped in a broken body, baring the weight of everything else. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

[Lornalost89]

Hi. I'm so sorry you are feeling this way 😔 I do find myself having these moments too. Working full time, being a mum, partner cook,cleaner etc it's exhausting for anyone never mind when we are crippled on a daily basis. I dont have much I think will help but it is a good place to talk with plenty of support. But I do find personally talking openly with my partner kind of helps me although I do rack myself with guilt for not being ok enough to give everything my all x

[OlgaSz]

I am really sorry you feel this way. It is good to open up about it, as otherwise it can fester your mind! Have you tried talking to your partner about how you feel? Do you have enough support? It takes a village to raise a child, so no wonder you sometimes feel overwhelmed! 🤍

[1Poppy1234]

Firstly I understand what your saying and I imagine everyone else on here does too. Have you got your partner to listen to podcasts/programmes about it? That helps understand or read some posts on this forum. Having him understand will be much better for you and give the support you need. As women we try and put up not ask for help etc and you can't do that when your battling pain too. Good luck hope you can get it over the severity of the pain. X

[DarkStar85]

So sorry you're feeling awful. I can relate as I have 3 young kids and some days feel unable to function with fatigue and pain. I've started being kinder to myself and on hard days just doing the bare minimum. My husband is pretty good and is there when I need him for the kids. But he still doesn't understand the full extent! Not sure any man ever can. Are you on any treatment plan at the moment to help endo symptoms? I'm about to start DIM, NAC and calcium d glucarate supplements. NAC particularly has shown promise is slowing progression. Have a look into them. Im also trying to follow an anti inflammatory diet and get my ass back to the gym which has been hard. I feel so much better having went twice this week. Really hope you get some relief soon.

[mavenmi]

I'm sorry you feel that way. Don't keep that to yourself - tell your partner, and talk to your GP, or refer yourself to IAPT for some professional support.

[27gems]

Hi fellow sufferer, I understand completely. I have Endometriosis of ovaries, Adenomyosis of whole uterus, crohns disease in bowels with adhesions to uterus, herniated discs in my spine pressing on nerves, arthritis in neck ..... had worsening health since a teenager! I have 3 children, 2 with autism. My husband works nights. He doesn't help with any cleaning, cooking, school things, kids appointments, lunches, etc etc. He is either sleeping or working and days off too tired to do anything. I have told.him many times I am struggling, many times the night shift working is making things harder for me, but he doesn't get it.

I've ended up taking antidepressants, for mood but also it helps with the nerve pain - especially in bowels. I also take a neuropathic medication (Pregabalin) that helps with pain, I make sure I'm taking Vitamins B, C and D and Iron. Do make appointment with GP to get help. Can try write a diary for a week - just points - "up at 3am with pain, took medication / applied heat pack" etc. - but try Describe the pain and how it effects your ability to function. Describe your mood too, be open and honest - can show it to your GP and then to your husband. Ask GP for Pain Specialist and Gynaecologist who specialises in Endo - you need treatment and help. Be demanding if needed - this is your life and its also for your child - fight for improving it.

Get a TENS machine - There's 1 designed especially for gynae pain - can wear it all day and it calms the pain a bit. See if avoiding wheat helps - many many sufferers find it helps quite a lot.

With Uni - write a letter to your Personal Tutor- Endometriosis is on the Disability List now - see if any lessons can be completed remotely. They have to assist you with disabilities - look up the law around it and see if anything can help.

If you find anything helps try making sure you you are using it safely and as often as you can.

Magnesium Baths can help a bit, anti inflammatory diets can help a bit, the correct Medications can help a bit, it's a bit of a puzzle- but you must improve your situtaion. I don't think men or women who haven't got Endometriosis can ever have a clue of how bad it is. Maybe get the facts for him (some.people understand factual information best) explain the causes of pain, the affects, the long term damage to mental health (I told.my husband the percentage of sufferers that end up depressed, suicidal, that actually kill selves to get him to realise it is a serious issue!!!).

I've always wished I could give my pain to him for just a day so he can understand!

But please seek help, having chronic pain causes a lot of stress/low mood ---- and that stress and low mood actually increases pain (evil I know!). Do Anything that makes you feel better - anything you find funny - any music that makes you feel positive - any food that is naturally good for pain (Google & look up things you like).