About a year ago, I passed out in the gym toilet from extreme pelvic pains which turned out to be a tubo ovarian abscess. This was the start of my endometriosis diagnosis. After 2 surgeries, including one excision of endometriosis, I thought things would settle down. And I was working hard on improving my health - exercise, diet, low stress environment, meditation. A year later (now), I got a HPV positive with low grade dyskariosis from my cervical smear test and find myself struggling to deal with this emotionally.
The challenges I had with my uterus has been pretty intense over the past year. Everytime I speak to a medical professional, therapist or a friend about my health condition, I break down into tears. Feels like someone picked on a scab and it’s bleeding again.
I know I’m having PTSD. Is there anyone who can share some advice or tips on how to deal with this? I feel like I’ve been speaking to therapists but feel very disconnected and like somehow they cannot empathise as they have not been through something similar and are quite factual and cold with treatment. Currently seeking Psychiatric help as I’m tired of not being able to manage my emotions around this situation and just generally catastrophising every health issue I have. I would love to hear what other experiences and any tips on building mental resilience over dealing with health anxieties and uncertainty in diagnosis or waiting instead of actively treating?
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Hc1992
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Hi, I think health anxiety is relatively common with endometriosis as I have it too. I also think it’s the unknown as we don’t know what’s going on inside our body’s and it’s very easy for me to blame any pain etc on the endo. I also believe it causes anxiety and depression especially with the hormones we have to take to try and supress the disease. You sound like you’re doing everything you should to try and help yourself. I’m sorry I don’t have an answer as I’m kind of in the same boat with health anxiety. It’s a very isolating disease and in yet to speak to a doctor that understand the impact of this disease. I hope you manage to find something that helps you x
don’t worry about the smear result. I had a cin3 result a few years ago and they do a lletz procedure. It’s uncomfortable but nothing compared to the surgeries you would have had. I am so sorry you’re going through this but also with low changes sometimes they revert back on their Own so they’ll probably monitor you and do a review in a years time to check.
It’s really disheartening and I genuinely feel your pain. I have adenomyosis and stage 4 endo so pain is something I really do get. Some days are seriously hard and it’s ok to cry and have bad days. You’re human! Talking about things can sometimes help. I have a therapist I speak to and she’s been fab as she had adenomyosis so understands what I am going through. Maybe worth seeing about some kinda therapy? Could help you deal with some of the mental strains. I hope you’re ok xx
Masssive hugs Hc1992... That's a huge burden to carry it's no wonder you're feeling isolated and scared as nobody is supporting/listening to you.Health anxiety is a totally normal experience to be going through after the last year of ill health. Sorry to hear that.
I can relate in the sense that in 2018 I lost my leg, 2020 I was diagnosed with a brain tumour and 2022 had an ovarian torsion! My world has spun full circle and back again...I have been left with PTSD and currently working with a psychotherapist, you have every right to ask for a therapist who is trauma informed.
I have educated myself to be able to know and understand how to deal with the mental angst. But once I was able to accept that the situation isn't going to change I was able to let it work for me and not against me, the more I fought, the more I lost!
Ask yourself, does 1 or 2 bad days make it a bad month/year, or is it just a bad situation? We don't have to like the situation at all, but once it consumes us it has power over us... It is working out how to become resilient which is easier said than done! What works for me, may not work for you... There are tonnes of self help books/podcasts out there that helped massively with my mindset, don't get me wrong there are days I want to sit there and cry (which I do) but tomorrow is a new day to start again... Be kind to yourself 💕
Hi Hc1992, I’m full of admiration for you - you’ve been through so much, but you are strong enough to reflect on what’s happened, examine your physical and emotional responses AND work on healing yourself, even though you’ve had another knock-back in the form of your smear test result. That’s a resilient character right there!
When I was at home recovering from an emergency operation, I was still in shock for quite a while without realising. It took some kind words from a GP to help me understand the trauma I had been through and release a lot of tears which I obviously desperately needed to cry. He simply said “It’s going to take some time to feel better… remember that your body has been through a huge traumatic experience, including the surgery itself (which is essentially an on-purpose injury), and a mental trauma as real as if you’d been in a car crash.”
Through my tears, I was thanking him for validating how I was feeling, stunned that I hadn’t acknowledged the enormity of what had happened to me, finally understanding that I needed to stop giving myself a hard time…
Like you, my health anxiety was definitely increased after the incident, and one weird thing I noticed was how I was sleeping completely tensed up, with my arms wrapped tightly over my tummy. It took a looong time for me to stop doing that.
Instead of PTSD, I seem to have developed fibromyalgia from a rather traumatic period - a few years of virtually non-stop stress, now that I look back. I have tried therapy in the past, but found it strange rambling on to a stranger who may or may not have experience of what I’ve been through. I would say that my favourite “therapy” is sharing experiences with others on these health forums, and perhaps (hopefully!) helping other people cope too. Much love xxx
Your responses have been so helpful with validating my feelings. Sometimes I can get too hyper focused on what’s happening to me I isolate myself. People don’t usually talk about the uncomfortable or unhappy events in their lives when they are going through so I feel very disconnected from the world going through what I am going through. I forget that these feelings are human and there are people out there (on here) who understand. So thank you for just responding. ☺️ Love the suggestions and would definitely love to hear about the books and podcasts. I feel like I’ll start doing research myself and just encourage myself to speak up more.
Some of the books that I have fpund helpful include 'why has nobody told me this before' - Dr Julie Smith, 'The myth of normal' - Gabor Mate, 'cleaning up your mental mess' - Dr Caroline Leaf and all of Ruby Wax's books, also recently read 'You can heal your life' - Louise Hay... For me, knowledge is power and the more I know how something works, the easier it is for me to change my ways...there are tonnes of podcasts available out there, Fearn Cotton was one I got into early on... Best of luck on your journey and happy healing ✨
Purple_Badgers you’ve absolutely hit the nail describing surgery as an on purpose injury. Nobody wants to be cut up so I can only imagine the experience as totally traumatic, especially if it was an emergency.
My first surgery was an emergency as well caused by a flare up of the abscess. In my experience, it’s easy to feel like your life is spiralling out of control when you don’t know what’s caused it, don’t have time to prepare/process this “self-injury” and having to place so much trust in someone that you’ve barely known with your life and your health. These are significant emotions to deal with in such a short amount of time so I can understand. Your doctor is kind and empathetic for saying what they’ve said.. It took me quite long to be kinder to myself after the surgery (still working on it). Thank you for sharing your story with me.
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