Life vs illness

[Devils_Advocate]

How do you all deal with your partners? Mine has been in bed for 3 days as he is 'ill' whilst I have worked & looked after our son who has also been ill. Everytime he is ill he takes himself off to bed....he basically has a cold and is beyond dramatic when ill.

I am exhausted, having been referred back to the hospital. I have been taking nerve blockers and codeine when I'm not working for the last week as my back (nerve damage) and endo are flaring. I also am suffering with migraines (hormonal) and reflux (having been put back on tablets for that too last week).

I am so annoyed with him, he thinks I am mean (maybe I am). But nothing stops for me, I can't remember the last time I had the luxury of rest. Work, dog walking, housework, kids don't stop. Is anyone else's partner like this? Am I being unreasonable to expect some help?

[EndoSuckss]

Hi! Sorry to hear that you're feeling so rubbish!

I don't think you're being unreasonable in expecting some help - it's hard to keep up when you have work, household responsibilities, children and an ever growing list of other things that need attention.

Were a military family and things can get mental quite quickly - and sometimes I struggle to keep up. My advice would be accept help when it's offered, even if it's from outside (for example, if someone offers to drop the kids to school or walk the dog) or maybe see if you can get a dog walker or cleaner a few hours a week so it's one less thing to worry about.

I think it's easy when you suffer from conditions like these to assume that other people can carry on when they're ill like we do most days! However, it's important to remember that other people are entitled to be unwell too! If your partner is genuinely not well, then maybe a day of rest will help him get better quicker so he can get back to working and everyday responsibilities.

Fingers crossed he's better soon, and you get some relief ASAP xx

[Devils_Advocate in reply to EndoSuckss]

Thanks for your reply. I try to be understanding but he is such a child when he is haha (and I already have two of them). I am going to look into a cleaner as we don't really have much family support x

[EndoSuckss in reply to Devils_Advocate]

Haha, men really are hard work then they're ill aren't they?! 😂

[Moon_maiden]

Hi, you aren’t expecting anything unreasonable, I have no idea how you keep working. I used to work through everything prior to all this. A cold never stopped me at anytime with work, men do seem to react differently for some reason. I can only imagine it’s worse at the moment his psyche is he needs the few days that he doesn’t want to do anything house. See if he can do a couple of things, or just leave stuff, it’ll be there when he’s better 😂

I hope you don’t wait too long for hospital appointment, adhesions back? 🤞

[Devils_Advocate in reply to Moon_maiden]

Thanks. He will be lucky to live a few days at this rate hah. My endo is definitely back and feel like I'm in labour on and off all month. I am worried it is on my diaphragm too x

[Moon_maiden in reply to Devils_Advocate]

🤣🤣, just give him a list for things that are waiting for him to be better including his lunch and tea 😂

[Moon_maiden in reply to Devils_Advocate]

Have you had another referral or able to just go back to gynae sec and make one. Are you having an MRI?

I’m on my third hospital just to get a proper MDT op. 😂🤦‍♀️ I was told it’s not beds that’s an issue but staff now.

[Devils_Advocate in reply to Moon_maiden]

I have been referred again, so back to the ultrasounds etc. I have never had an MRI before so not really sure. That's rubbish, such a nightmare to get treatment ...especially at the moment x

[Moon_maiden in reply to Devils_Advocate]

Really hope you get some decent help and scans, it’s ridiculous at the moment. I get tempted to just go to A&E and tell them it needs sorting and not leaving 🤣

[Jellybean20]

Yes yes a million times yes 🤣 I’m not here for letting them be ill!!! A headache or cold is not ill! I had to endure the inability to walk properly as my whole right hand side was completely locked off, cramping through my back and stomach while standing making his pack lunch my girls pack lunch, feeding the animals sorting school bags and uniforms all while princess slept from 7 o clock on the night till 7 the next day. After I woke the adult up for work he huffed and puffed at me because he felt “ill” told me he was sick of this shizzile whilst being handed a pack lunch and coffee!! I am the worst!!! When I mentioned to him that not getting up for work in a morning and having to be woke was getting me annoyed he said look your hormones are raised, the doctor told us to expect this so this isn’t about me 🤣🤣 he wasn’t even in my meeting! I have stage 4 severe endo and need a full hysterectomy but I can’t even think about getting that in case he gets a headache!!!!! Which by the way is a solid twice a week minimum. So yes be angry be resentful be annoyed! When you share children it’s his child as much as yours so it’s not ok for one to right themselves off when the other has to battle through. Too many people sugar coat their lives so people think they are living the little house on the whatever it is, we are not! Hope this makes you feel better! 🥰 don’t let anyone make you feel bad for feeling upset when you battle the pain and struggle every day which mainly you are doing alone. It’s not ok. Take care huni and take no nonsense 🤣 xxxx

[Devils_Advocate in reply to Jellybean20]

Thanks for this, made me feel more normal! It is so frustrating and I know I'm not the only one. I wish sometimes I could make him live as me for a week to see why his cold really isn't comparable. Take care xxx