Lied to: So yesterday I found out I'd been... - Endometriosis UK

Endometriosis UK

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Lied to


So yesterday I found out I'd been lied to by my own Dr or the receptionist, I was told by the Dr in March I'd been referred to see gyne again, I rang to see who I'd been referred to as I wanted to hurry them along a bit and see where I was on this big list, only to find out I've not been referred is a Dr even aloud to lie to me about this I'm really angry and in agony now how long will I be waiting I'm so down now I thought it wouldn't be long now I know it's going to be ages now☹️ xx

31 Replies

I would be fuming make a complaint to the practice manager. They may be able to rush it through if they put it as urgent.

I will be, it's disgusting we wait long enough already, then for this to happen it's outrageous, I'm sick of this it's pissin me right off, Dr is getting a gob full tomorrow morning, I forgot to ring this morning 🙄 memory is gone 😂 xx

This happened to me a few months ago and when I complained I was put on a list for a hospital I didn’t want to go to but I took the appointment anyway because I was desperate and felt that so much time had been wasted while I was being lied to about being referred. I then went to this appointment and it was such a horrible experience and I ended up having to file a medical negligence report. The hospital then contacted me and offered me an appointment only three weeks later with a different doctor and although I felt coerced into taking it as though they were trying to shut down my complaint, it does show that when they screw up, there is wiggle room to get a patient in sooner. So if I were you I would formally complain and request that the doctor find you a better solution.

So sorry this happened to you. I really understand your pain and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Trying to manage this disease is a full time job and it’s made so much worse when you feel you can not access help or care. X

Bubblepoppy in reply to Lucy_o

It's disgusting isn't it, I feel like I'm being ignored, or my symptoms are nothing, I think my Dr thinks now I've had a laperoscopy and removal of endo already he thinks it's gone so it can't be that, I'm fuming. Xx

Lucy_o in reply to Bubblepoppy

I know exactly how you feel. Had a lap in February and they ablated some lesions (didn’t know that this was so inferior to excision at the time and even potentially damaging) and now that I tell them I’m still in agony it’s like they’re angry with me because I’m not just magically fixed and as though I’ve somehow chosen it.

Bubblepoppy in reply to Lucy_o

Exactly, if they wasn't so reluctant to send us to specialist's in endo the first time round they are going to miss some, even if they are specialist's they can still miss it and it can come back quickly, but trying to tell the GP that is like getting blood out of a stone, I so wish he could just have 1 day of my pain then he wouldn't be so dismissive 🙄 xx

EndoJaz in reply to Bubblepoppy

Tell me about it.. I had this argument with drs for 3 yrs. Can’t be endo u had it removed with your hysterectomy , u r imagining it’s still there, download a calm app!! It makes me so mad. Finally had a lap last week and guess what yes endo. When I get better I will complain for the awful treatment given by GPs. Aaagghh!

Bubblepoppy in reply to EndoJaz

Crazy how we know more then some GPs isn't it they should read up on it, instead they think they have all the power and they are right, and your life is in their hands, they don't think of what and how much pain we go through do they Xx

EndoJaz in reply to Bubblepoppy

No they don’t and it’s so sad to think how since I was 12 I went to the drs month after month having to take 3-4 days off school every month for agonising pains to be told it was normal. Told once by a dr if sex is painful then don’t do it. Years and years of being treated like you just don’t matter as it’s all in your head. Something needs to change as it’s just not right. X

Bubblepoppy in reply to EndoJaz

It's disgusting isn't it, I've just rang my dr's I have a phone appointment with him next Friday just more time for me to get madder that all this has happened yet again xx

EndoJaz in reply to Bubblepoppy

Hope it goes well. I seem to get so angry I just sit there and cry then leave without achieving anything. Have wasted so many appts like that so try to stay strong x

Bubblepoppy in reply to EndoJaz

I will thanks, will let you know how it goes xx

This happened to me and my husband, something a little different to yours though.

He had some fertility checks that needed to be done, anyway he got all the forms had them done & the results came back, we had an appointment and the doctor said yeah everything is fine, just carry on doing what your doing. We had another another appointment with a fertility specialist who said actually your results aren’t ok & you shouldn’t of been told they was.

He also had other conditions that needed a referral. The fertility doctor wrote to the GP to ask for a referral I called a few weeks later to check & was told yeah just wait blah blah. Which I did and a few months went by and thought no it wouldn’t take this long. I called the GP and he hadn’t even been referred, so we wasted months waiting when there wasn’t even a referral put forward, safe to say we aren’t at the GP anymore! It’s disgusting and peoples health’s they are playing with. Defo complain xxx

Oh I definitely am doing xx

Disgraceful treatment and stressful for you as you think you are on a list and you wait and wait and wait for your appointment to come in the mail. Definitely complain, it’s you that is suffering xx 😚

Yes I wouldn't mind the stress makes the pain worse doesn't it, I'm definitely complaining it's out of order xx

I know stress does make it worse too. I feel for you. We shouldn’t have to wait months to see consultants x

True, the thought of knowing that letter is coming is all that keeps you going. Such bad treatment again being treated inferior like we just don’t matter.


Its an awful thing to go through and against their regulations as well. There is info on the GMC site about the care they should give. Saying this I have it in writing that I was lied to a couple of months back, in a text, after they told me that my request ( a referral to the pain clinic, which also came from A&E), only to find they'd just sent a question. They ended up doing the referral, too late as I paid to see the consultant. They gave some crap about the pain clinic not taking referrals, which I'd already found out they were taking these all through covid. Don't let them use covid as an excuse, at the very least if referrals weren't being taken they should have informed you.

I also had to micro manage referrals for scans through covid because they sent it via email to a defunct email address.

I haven't decided what to do yet, but seems it's quite popular amongst GP's these days.

Good luck, let us know how you get on. It could be you'll actually see the consultant rather than a registrar.

I will let you all know what goes on thanks for the replies much appreciated xx

As they've messed up ask them to do an urgent referral. You will get an appt in 2 weeks. Pick the consultant you want to see and ask them to note it on the referral. Escalate to the business manager to ensure its done properly. That is so unacceptable and I'd be so angry too. Hope you get an urgent referral soon.

Call your dr now and tell them what has happened, they should be able to refer you and put it as urgent too.

Yes, it is appalling! But it is a tactic that a lot of Dr Surgeries use to save monies. They've done it to me a few times. I have put a strong complaint to the Practice Manager and yes, I was fuming. They usually hope that the patient will forget. Or they wait 3 months.

What you can now do is:

1. Write a complaint letter to the Practice Manager and send it by Special Delivery.

2. Go back to either the same GP or another GP, make them aware that you are aware of their tactics and demand that they send the referral NOW via the QUICK Referral system and to be treated as an URGENT Referral.

3. You can check a few days later with the referral secretary that the referral has been done.

They should listen to you.

Good luck. x

Thanks I will do that xx

Yep, it's all about money! Referrals, blood tests, scans cost money and the clinic has a monthly quota each month. My gp lied to me many times saying that this could not be refered, that one does not do a laparoscopy on a whim...or the old tactics:let's wait some weeks and let's see how you feel, then we will reassess ...well I'm on agony ! I don't want to wait...

I would just call them and explain that you are really disappointed that they didn’t do the referral as promised and you’d like them to now refer you as urgent so you don’t have an extended wait time for something that you really need to see a consultant for.

People make mistakes, and it’s inexcusable that they would not do something they said they would do, but if you call and speak to them it may get resolved faster.

Bubblepoppy in reply to b_bart88

I have to speak with the Dr so I have a phone appointment next week he was the one that was telling me I'd been referred, so I want a explanation from him, I know they all look after eachother tho so I'm not expecting much to happen 🙄 xx

b_bart88 in reply to Bubblepoppy

I’m sure he has an explanation. Not marking excuses for them at all, but it is a crazy time at the moment and things can slip. I’m sure he’ll apologise and get the referral done properly for you! Good luck xx

Bubblepoppy in reply to b_bart88

Yes he's still a great Dr but all this was the beginning of March before all this so I can't wait explanation as to why it wasn't done plus I spoke with him 4 times on different occasions and all 4 times he said I had been referred the last time been 2/3 weeks ago, I do understand with all this it will take longer but now it's going to be even longer which isn't on, he better had apologize too 🤣 xx

That’s what they do at doctors no idea why it happened to me once still I don’t even think I’m on the list since I told them I’m pregnant or I would have got sorted ages ago before that they are so annoying even if you complain like I did to the g.p manager it doesn’t mean you will get further along they can’t push you forward even though they made a mistake well they haven’t in my case I was waiting for a referral which they said was made but I don’t think they even put me on list I kept getting a call saying they can’t do it from receptionist which is why I called the manager it was to do with their electronic system if it dosent go through they don’t refer and usually means the list is too long

Bubblepoppy in reply to Afrohair

It's crazy isn't it, it was the same the first time around i waited longer, congratulations on your baby good news xx

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