How do people cope with things emotionally? I feel like my depression is getting worse and feel like I’m on the verge of a mental break down due to the constant agonising pain, stress and other personal problems that I have going on aswell.
It all seems way too much to cope and bear with right now 😓 and I feel like I’m stuck in a vicious cycle that I can’t get out of.. I’m depressed because I’m in so much pain and have been for 12 years, then I’m stressed out to other reasons which is then obviously making the pain worse.
What do I do? How do I get myself out of this horrible rut I have got myself into?!😢😢
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Jessica-x
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I hear you. It’s so very hard for us. There’s nothing anyone can say but offer words of support. I’ve learned to switch my brain to try and be kinder to myself. Accept things. I’m having a shitty time too in my personal life and dealing with dreadful endo pain. Global pandemic not helping anyone! I’m also on my own apart from my young daft dog who doesn’t get I can’t get out of bed some days. I’ve sort of gone “holistic” and changed my lifestyle. Super strict healthy diet helps. Don’t drink anymore. In bed early. Countryside walks daily. Talking to people. It helps me a lot because I’m in control of certain things now. This site helps. Read my profile. I can relate to you. Hang in there. DM if you ever need to. I feel your pain and send you a hot water bottle and a hug. Nina.
I find reading positive quotes and watching uplifting videos help me. Actually type in positive quotes and read read it really does make you think. Or try to keep busy to take your mind of. As for the pain speak with your gp that's what there there for after all and if the depression is becoming a real issue make that a priority to speak to the gp. Xxx
all im doing is waking up crying while i get ready for work, got to work, come home go straight to bed and cry some more. It’s affecting my sleep, im either having no sleep at all or im sleeping for hours. Last weekend I spent all Saturday and Sunday in bed sleeping.
My GP won’t really touch me with regards to endo because I’m under a consultant - it’s a nightmare. But there isn’t much more they can give me in the community, I have oromorph, tramadol and zomorph.
I have been depressed on and off throughout the years with this and then it got worse when my best friend passed away a year ago in 3months time. Managed to fight that off in the end. Then the last 3 weeks I have started with anxiety and feeling nervous (never had this before) so I’m already on anti-depressants. Spoken to GP last week gave me pre-gablin for the anxiety but that’s all that was said and done really. Things are just getting worse and worse day by day and I am just having a continuous mental break down for the last 3 weeks with everything that’s going on in my life. A 25year old shouldn’t be having breakdowns xx
I've never known of pre gablin for anxiety I always thought it was a nerve pain medication. Do you have good support what about cbt I had therapy and it really helped me. I know the feeling my gp wouldn't touch me either b4 my hysterectomy cos I was under a consultant xxx
It might help if you have a look at endo-resolved.com. It offers a different way. It’s not medical advice but just an option of alternative ways of managing mindsets and pain etc. Worth a read if you have some time. When you’re trapped in a cycle of pain and depression, it becomes almost impossible to even contemplate where to start, where to turn. Which doctor to see, where to get advice. No wonder you’re feeling like you are! This site is brilliant because we’re all in the same boat. You sound like you’re sinking and need a life jacket. I’ll throw you one!!!! It’s a hard fact that if you don’t have endometriosis you’re simply not going to relate to someone that does. I can relate and so will the next girl reading these posts. Endometriosis has a ripple effect that reaches far and wide. I just want you to know you are NOT alone. There ARE things that can be done to help you heal. You are MUCH stronger than you think you are.
I don’t feel strong anymore, and i am not myself either these last 4weeks i have watched myself disappeared and it’s horrible. Like you say im trapped in this cycle and there doesn’t seem to be no way out. Day by day im feeling worse and worse.
Thanks for the life jacket - I hope it works and FAST!!
P.S was thinking about you. Have you thought about calling the 0800 number to talk to the ladies at the endometriosis helpline? I bet they’re lovely to talk to with sound advice. Hope Monday is a good day for you. Nina.
I haven’t no but I think I’m too unstable for a phone call i will just sit there and cry down the phone and waste their time when they could be helping to support someone else. But thank you for thinking of me hun x x
Hi Jessica. We know how you feel, you are not on your own.
After the word endometriosis briefly mentioned to me by the consultant 18 months ago, I didn't receive any medical support.
On the advice of fellow endo warriors and due to associated digestive issues, I put myself on a an exclusion anti inflammatory diet. Endo causes inflammation through the body and some foods make it worse, such as : gluten, dairy, soya, caffeine, chocolate (contains both milk and soya). All these can be replaced with gluten free, plant milk based (not soya!), decaff, vegan chocolate products. We are lucky nowadays to have so many alternatives. I also take magnesium glycenate to help with the depression I went into, it helps with anxiety, relax and recoup the nervous energy spent on stress, anxiety, tiredness. Endo puts a lot of strain on our body, we have to help it. I also take vitamin D to help with the immune system and because we are also often stuck inside, iron to help with tiredness associated with blood losses (your GP should have checked this). If you can, distract yourself when in pain. I usually take a hot water bottle (not too hot) and watch a nice, kind film, something uplifting. Holistic techniques do work. Just remember :each action is an achievement.
Take good care of yourself and ask for help whenever you need to. Lots of hugs.
Good answer. Good advice. One baby step at a time. Endo makes us so isolated. Introverted. Stressed. Overwhelmed with negative emotions. It’s taken me years but I now have a coping mechanism inside my brain which I can turn on and off like a switch. It’s like choosing what to wear in a morning, choosing which dress, which shoes. I choose my mood. Because I can. We all can. Therapy has taught me this. I make the decision and then go with it. We have no choice over our endometriosis but we do have a choice how we deal with it. Flipping hard to do when you’re climbing your bedroom wall in excruciating pain, but on the days when it eases, I try and make the choice to eat well. Be kind to myself and others. What can I do today that will help my mental health? Even if it’s just making a fruit smoothie or changing fresh bedsheets or tickling my dogs tummy or phoning my Mum....just tiny things that when added together make the day a little easier. A lot of people think healthy eating equals more cost but it’s not true. You can cook from scratch cheaply. Batch cook a huge salad or casserole. Add anti inflammatory foods. Google is brilliant for recipes. We’re all up against so much. Self love and self care can really help Endo sufferers.
Don’t underestimate what you can be to yourself. One day at a time.
unfortunately do to the severe pain, anxiety and depression i am not able to eat now for quite a while properly. I am so hungry but everytime I try and eat something I’m sick 🤢 so the diet situation is out of the window right now. I can’t carry on living on medication for the rest of my life I have been stuck on meds for the last 12 years and that’s not good, it can cause other health problems, which has already done in the past!
I’m just feeling like my overall health is doomed!
So when I’m in severe pain that stops me from doing just simple every day activities I have to lie on my bed curled up in a ball because I’m just having to rock my myself around the bed.
Re: food making you sick. Have you talked to your GP about this? Can you have someone to accompany you to the GP? Is it any type of food? Is there any food you manage to keep? Can you make a list of the foods that make you sick?
I was told to imagine that we have a toolbox and, depending how you feel, how much pain you are in, physical or emotional, you pick the tool to fix it: in my toolbox I have :music, diet but still eating well, snacks, keeping a pain diary with the cycle, gentle yoga for endometriosis (online YouTube), films, family, this support group for info, rant 🙄😂 and advice, reading, books, walks when I can, cooking, the cat his antics to laugh at and his cuddles, breathing, online meditation, hot water bottle, anxiety herbal remedies, painkillers, self derision at my own stupidity sometimes (only sometimes 😂), some days accepting that I can do nothing because of the pain, accepting this is a big step and I warn my family, so everyone is okay, tomorrow will be a better day 😊.
Well my toolbox sucks - i have nothing but work (sounds mad I know) but im a Healthcare assistant at a hospital on a respiratory ward and looking after patients helps me get up and go to work morning and night. Regardless of my pain, my depression I will go to work everyday im due on plus extra shifts to care for them for 12 and a half hours at a time and I go above and beyond for them (not bigging myself up here but I do and have been told several times by fellow staff, patients and relatives) not many staff do this these days unfortunately. So the only time I have off work is when I’m away on holiday or generally can’t do the pain, bleeding anymore and I end up a patient myself!
It took me 12 years to get involved in one of these forums and I’m so glad i did just to hear that there is others out there feeling the way I do and hearing how others deal and cope with this disease is helpful. But unfortunately I think I joined at the wrong time as I’m not in the right frame of mind at all.
So on top of the nerves, anxiety, depression, I am having difficulties at home/with family which is heartbreaking and that’s all because they don’t understand how to deal with me I think during this mental breakdown, 10months ago my best friend passed away and a month ago me and my partner split up. There’s lots going on that I’m just not coping with right now.
But yes my tool box sucks massively. I go to work I come home go to my bedroom watch tv sometimes it just go to sleep - same old story most days tbf. So I’m not living a life of a 25year old at all!
Completely understand how you feel. Last year I would cry on my way to work for what seemed no reason. I knew it wasn’t depression, once I knew about fibroids, I realised it was hormones and GP gave the pill which helped. Then diagnosis of endo and lap. Then Zoladex, one of the only things this has helped, for me, is emotions. When I look back emotions have always played a part with periods one way or another, but never did anything.
If you aren’t taking anything such as pill etc., maybe speak to GP or consultant.
I’m currently on the pill have been a while been taking it back to back so I don’t have the break which means I am not suppose to be bleeding having periods. However because things got so bad I got told to take x2 of my pills in the morning to stop this (desogestrol)
I have tried everything else that is possible that they can give me the injections, other types of pills, the coil and nothing has worked or has worked but only for about 2-3months then back to square one.
I have had about 6-8 operations now on it to remove what endometriosis they could each time. So the laparoscopy really does help me and gives me good relief and no bleeding or pain for at least 2-3years. I’ve also had the injections that puts you on the early menopause alongside with HRT and that works but because of my age it’s not possible to stay on it. First time round I had it for 3 months as I was only 18, second time I had it at the age of about 23 I had it for 6 months but I have to be careful because of my bones I have problems with my joints you see.
That’s a lot to go through and cope with. Sorry about your friend and the split, all has an effect.
There should be occupational health at work, have you spoken to HR, they should be able to help. You’re going to be exhausted.
Has the consultant (or GP) had an MRI done for deep endometriosis. I’ve been told it’s in the bowel. Uterus is pressing on bladder, not sure if endo or just size of uterus. You’ll need to see someone at a BSGE centre.
Eating wasn’t so bad today, haven’t had much still. I think the seven year old ate more 😂. (We we’re visiting relatives) Possibly (hoping) the amitriptyline is doing something. The pain consultant suggested it a couple of weeks ago for nerve pain. It’s his go to for starters. It is used more for that these days than as an antidepressant. The endo is effecting nerves, he wasn’t quite sure before lap, but after said it certainly could be when he saw the extent.
You’ve had a lot of ops, that is going to have an effect on your body. Try not to be hard on yourself, it’s worth ringing the endo helpline and they won’t mind if you cry, they’re trained for it, but will also understand. Even if you do cry it doesn’t matter and will be a bit of a release.
Is it a specific condition with your joints? I’ve read autoimmune conditions can go alongside endo.
The snapping sounds like weak ligaments, not sure if that’s involved.
I noticed you work in a hospital, you should have occupational health or HR who can organise it for you. This may help to sort something for feeling down and possibly the pain. I think anaesthetists work on respiratory wards sometimes, they are normally the pain consultants as well, can’t you have a quick word with a nice one or is it frowned upon. I can understand if it is due to protocol.
The fact you’re going to work is really good, I’ve held down several jobs for years, now can’t do much at all. You are doing so well
Thank you! This site has helped me more than I thought it would tbh - didn’t think it was for me but a work colleague searched for sites for me to try and help me and I’m glad she found this tbh.
Well I rang my GP yesterday and was frank with her yet no help! There bloody awful GP surgery’s until it’s a little too late
Don't be too hard on yourself Jessica. 14 months ago I had nothing in my toolbox either and was in a bad place. The GPs and nurse practitioner both told me that 'for endometriosis, NOTHING CAN BE DONE, for interstitial cystitis, NOTHING CAN BE DONE, for the perimenopause, VERY LITTLE CAN BE DONE as you have a history of breast cancer in the family'.
Well... I fought back!
I also ended up with IBS-D, no medical support there either.
Due to having 3 cystitis in 2.5 months, I went back to the GPs, took a family member with me, GPhad a change of personality, I demanded a referral to a cytoscopy, referral to another hospital for a 2nd opinion (legally entitled to this in England only) as the current consultant blocked my medical care, no treatment, etc. I felt so abandoned in the system, so very confused!
I have always kept a diary where I log all my symptoms by day and showing the interaction with the cycle, I show it to consultants, GPs. They can't ignore your symptoms.
I put myself on an exclusion diet to reduce /stop the pain, digestive issues (caused by endo) and repeated cystitis, also caused by endo. This is what has worked the best for me.
You are entitled to counselling via your work. It would help you unload.
To make myself psychologically and mentally stronger, handle stress, I take magnesium glycenate, Vitamin D, iron, a good quality Evening Primrose. I also take Rhodiola, a herbal remedy to reduce anxiety and stress ad I react to NSAID and anti depressants.
Going for a short walk helps, so does a good film.
When you go to bed, have you tried to put on a meditation, calm music on to relax, empty your mind a little bit? I know it's not easy, but it's little step by little step. Amytriptilin can help mentally and for the pain.
These are the tools we learn as we go along, and by exchanging information.
Keep talking to us, keep asking for advice, together we can make each other better 😊
I’m sorry I haven’t replied - thank you for your time. I wish I could say that I was okay but I’m not, not at all right now. Everyday im crying and having breakdowns im very unstable and such a mess these days it’s embarrassing to say that at my age I am unable to cope and don’t know what to do next
Hi Jessica, just wondering, you said you’re an HCA. If that’s NHS, I wonder if you can get free counselling sessions if you speak to occ health? It doesn’t address the endo directly, but might help to be able to have some space in sessions to speak about your feelings with a counsellor. It sounds like maybe there’s grief around, not just for your friend, but also for the loss of health over the last 12 years. Talking is maybe a chance to tell the story of how it’s been and feel heard. Just an idea. Big virtual hug 🤗
Thank you for the idea. However I tried this last year and it’s just not one for me. I can’t sit there and talk to someone I’m just wasting their time and my time so it’s not fair
Emotions are are real struggle when you have Endometriosis. I dont know what area you luve in but Mr Becker at John Radcliffe hospital Oxfordshire is good.
A lot of support for you out here which in some tiny way might make you feel a little better, mentally if not physically. You’ve had lots of ops and I don’t want to be doom and gloom (because I’m not), but the only way to get your life back, long term is to have deep excision surgery by a top surgeon. Until you do this your endo ain’t going anywhere. Once this is done, you will have a chance at getting your life back on track and heal, possibly for the first time. I’m sorry for everything you’re going through but there are some very good answers on here to think about. Virtual hug in trying times. Stay strong, you are coping incredibly well in the circumstances that are being thrown at you by the universe. Good luck. Nina.
I completely know how you feel. I have 15 chronic conditions including Endo and adenomyosis and I am at the point where I have 3 other conditions I am in the middle of being diagnosed with. It’s a never ending daunting task. You never know how you’re going to feel when you get up.
I have major depressive disorder, panic disorder and GAD. My biggest advice is to find something that brings you joy and focus on it. My art is my passion and so I put a lot of my time into my art and the business I started last year. Having something to focus on gives you a great sense of purpose. I have many different types of art I do depending on how I am feeling that day. I just started making soy candles.
I think the biggest thing is that your conditions may be part of you but they don’t define who you are as a person. Try and find something that brings you that happy feeling and focus on it. I found writing 5 things I’m grateful for a day really helps. I’m artsy so I decorate up my journal pages and I feel good about it. Just know that you’re not alone and that you can do this. Keep fighting. 💕
I’ve read these threads and completely understand how your feeling I’m 32, currently stuck in hospital, this I reckon my 8th time since May - I feel awful.
I’m meant to be at work at 7am, no chance!
Waiting for lap as don’t even know what’s wrong yet
But just found out 2 weeks ago in Oct I’m going to be made redundant
So guys im sorry that I have been quiet just lately, I have really been struggling and haven’t been leaving my bed or been on my phone. Just needed to shut out the world- maybe a bad idea I don’t know? Things aren’t getting better mentally or physically..
I have been nagging my gp the last 2 weeks so much.. and I have finally had an appointment come through from the consultant for October after waiting since April!! However it feels like a lifetime away still, I’ve also had an appointment come through with my pain nurse again. But I’m just sat here thinking what’s the point?! Nothing has helped before why’s going to change now?
Constantly having breakdowns at work, I’m just a general mess...
but thank you all for your lovely kind words and support it is really appreciated.
Next? Well, our support, knowing that we are with you is already a step forward.
Maybe show to your pain nurse your posts to make her aware about how you feel. Also to make her aware that a lot of ladies are caring for you, she can't ignore you anymore, possibly suggest to her the mental support you need NOW, to the GP and nurse, the dietary support NOW.
Next? Make a list, when you are ready, of all the suggestions /tools that we use and we have passed on our knowledge and experience to you.
Take good care of yourself and let us know how you are doing. Keep in touch.
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