Thursday thoughts

So.... after my second hospital appointment in 2 months I am now signed up for my second surgery. Whilst some dread this I am actually glad as it is the only thing that has given me some relief (my first was 2 years ago with stage 4 endo). 6 months post op I ran a 10k to raise money for endometriosis and raised a few hundred pounds and i felt great.

I'm 28 and really want to start a family but this is proving difficult, more so in the past 3 months it has been almost impossible due to the pain. But hopefully after surgery this will ease.

I've been sitting thinking about whether the things I think about are common....

When it's period time sometimes I hope it comes quicker so I get that dreaded week out the way.

I hate making social plans as usually when the day comes I'm in pain or not up for it.

If I do make it to anything social I am always the driver as alcohol just seems to make it worst but that's hard to explain to people.

I feel like I could sleep for Great Britain half way through the day.

I have a "normal" clothes wardrobe and an endo wardrobe which essentially is black, baggy with a lot of loose leggings or joggers.

I don't feel particularly sexy as a wife as my husband has truly seen me at my worst and recently this had been most days.

I don't know how we get the word out there to others but I think it's becoming more and more important and although sometimes embarrassing or comfortable the more we talk about it the more it is recognised. I watch all these adverts for cancer and raising money and or awareness and although it is an awful disease endometriosis is DEVESTATING!!! Some days I can't be bothered with the next and it has completely changed my life and what I thought my future would be. I truly believe women who have this disease must have extreme mental strength not only to complete a day but to deal with intense pain.

I would love to start a blog or vlog for this, if anyone knows of good websites for this I would love to do it and show a REAL version of the truth.

Stay strong ladies!!!!

Xxx

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  • I agree 100% with everything you said. I found out I had endometriosis June this year. Mine on my left ovary, fallopian tube & ligaments. Although mine in only stage one I have been in incredible pain and also suffer from cysts too. Not a lot of airtime is given to women suffering from this... nobody really understands what it's like. I am now on Zoladex implant injections and the side effects have been awful and I've ended up taking time off work ill yet again (adding more stress & worry into the equation!!). I've now just started HRT (livial) so will have to see how that goes. I am exhausted every day, in pain and look like I'm 5 months pregnant!!! I have low self esteem as I just feel in control of my body any more and tired of the pain & discomfort. It's hard for people to truly understand the daily grind and effect it has on your mental health xx

  • I hope the HRT Works for you. I was on it for only 4 months before I had to stop as I literally felt like an old woman but I suppose that's the point.

    I forgot to mention the irony of looking like your pregnant that's just the icing on the cake Isn't it!!!! X

  • Yeah totally, I'm 42 and have never had children and it's so wrong/unfair to potentially have the choice taken away from me!! I do hope the HRT works for me as I just can't cope with the side effects of the Zoladex - so it's back to the endo pain otherwise x

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