Dyslexia and support

[RUNJPR]

10 weeks ago I was diagnosed with anxiety, which has been bubbling away for years. I guess at least 38 years. In March, I turned 43. So, this will give you an ideal of how deep-rooted the problem is. Again, in the 80’s, there was no such thing as anxiety or depression, only feeble and worthless people. I’m dyslexic, so in my early years, was subjected to relentless mental bulling and torment. As, in those times, dyslexia was a word given to the academically inept and the stupid. Even the teachers would mock me in class, never mind the kids.

I’ve just never seen anyone about it; I’m a typical alpha male. Boys don’t show their emotions and we just need to suck it up. Hence why suicide numbers, in men, rocket by the day.

Your comments, feedback and general support would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance 🙏

[Hidden]

I got the same and I am a female but I just proved that they might be good at reading, and spelling and in my case maths but I made it clear that I am stronger in some other ways which they are not so we worked on what they needed help with and they helped me with my dyslexic. It was worse when my dad was born and he is born in 1957 but he never let his dyslexia stand in his way as in he is not going to let control him but unfortunately it was fully understood like it is now a days.

[Giosang in reply to Hidden]

Hi I just wanted to say that I admire you for being here because it's not easy writing about how things feel. Dyslexia and anxiety go hand in hand. My son has both and life is tough for him in so many ways. I am dyslexic and I suffer from anxiety and other things that drive me nuts like in problems sleeping. Back in the day I had no idea I was dyslexic and didn't really figure it out till I hit my 30s -and that was years ago. My son inherited it from me. Do other people in you family have it?

It's been a hard road, but I've tried to teach my, now 20-year-old, boy that he has to understand his difficulties and work with them and not fight them. Accepting who you are really helps. He has achieved a lot in music but as I say he suffers from anxiety and has problems with self-esteem. The thing is, he has his music and that helps him to focus on something positive. Everyone has something that they are good at, usually, it's artistic or creative for dyslexic people. It's really important that you give yourself the chance to feel good about yourself - I wonder if you do an art or a sport or something that you are good at? I'd love to know because I beleive that is the key to living more easily with dyslexia. Welcome, and thanks for writing such an interesting post.

[Hidden in reply to Giosang]

My dad has dyslexia.. I have dyslexia, attention deficit disorder and austim trait's and learning disabilities. I am also recovered from bipolar. I use coloured paper at college as I am a student there part time and yellow paper as I can not read black on white due to my dyslexia. I am an author which is not published. I also use erasable pen's to help with my dyslexic as I can not spell great.

[RUNJPR in reply to Hidden]

Interesting. It great you’ve learnt what works for you. Thanks for sharing.

[RUNJPR in reply to Giosang]

I couldn’t agree more. Please see my response to Kamilla. As I said to her, dyslexia doesn’t define me. I am, like your son, very creative. I’m mad on sport and was talented at art as a child. I’m an incredibly sensitive person and take everything to heart. I’m working on this with my therapist now. On paper I’ve got everything; my own business, which is small but successful. I built the business from the ground up back in January 2004. I’m very driven and focused. But, I’m also a perfectionist and continually set myself up to fail. I don’t believe in myself, even though I’ve got so many thinks to be proud of. I’ve overcome every challenge, which many people would crumble under the weight of. I’m happily married with three healthy and beautiful children. I drive a nice car and live in a 4-bed detached house two miles from the beach. I’m financially secure and live a comfortable life. The list is endless. However, I feel like a complete failure 99.99% of the time. This boils down to the bullying I endured at school. I reckon my dad is dyslexic but he was never tested growing up in the 50s. It was bad enough for me in the 80s and early 90s. You and your son sound like inspirational people. Please do stay in touch.

[Giosang in reply to RUNJPR]

So good to hear your story. It will certainly cheer lots of people up -it is very interesting to read that, although you have a very successful life, your feelings of failure are still with you. My son was bullied at school too, even in the Steiner School we tried!! In the end, I had to home educate him through his GCSE years, otherwise we risked him failing. However, even though he worked hard on his music grades and got 2 grade 8s, and passed 4 GCSEs he still felt low about himself and didn't truly value his achievements. I was exactly the same and still am - to be honest! It does come from experiences of bullying, you are right. I am still working hard with him to overcome these negative feelings and he has good days and bad days. Here's something I wrote about strategies I used to help him through school. It's for parents with dyslexic children. wehavekids.com/education/dy...

[RUNJPR in reply to Hidden]

Absolutely, Kamilla. Dyslexia doesn’t define me. Like you and your dad, I too have many gifts and talents, others don’t have. This makes us targets at school for bullying. And, it’s that torment then, which has thrown up many issues around low self esteem and fear of failing now.

[sroach01]

I remember those times in the 80s my parents rammed down my throat, that no matter what other peoples opinion of my self does not matter, because to achieve things in life I have had to work twice as hard as a normal non dyslexic person had to. I admire you for sharing your story with us. I have had to put up with Colleagues at work whom always try to correct me or some of them try to change me. I would tell them if you want to cure my dyslexia stop interfering with my work.

[RUNJPR in reply to sroach01]

That is 100% correct; you, like me, are worth 10 of these self righteous idiots who think they’re more superior on the grounds of being academically talented and putting themselves above those who aren’t but so deeply talented in others things be it music, sport, creativity, entrepreneurialism, business acumen etc. Ignore them, and remember that.

[Kanani]

Similar story here, though without the alpha male burden. No wonder you carry all that anxiety...it's a natural response and perhaps a symptoms of hyper vigilance (diagnosed for me). Finding a safe place to talk and work it through saved me. Important to break the silence, but in a safe place. You deserve it...really. My thoughts and hopes are with you.