6 months and going with couple skips along the way.

[Fattofitguy]

Just wanted to tell my quick story as have found talking about things has helped me through a lot of this journey. I 43M have been completely alcohol free for about 40 days (started journey 6 months ago had 2 slip ups during) I've drank pretty much since I was 16 and had my fair share of idiotic moments of doing things I regretted in the morning. 6 months ago I realized that getting black out drunk had become a problem and I needed a change. I used that mindset to go all in on a fitness journey and cut alcohol out. It's been a great ride so far and have seen so many great improvements with my health and sleep. Started seeing Dr regularly to keep eye on my health more and I love all the improvements that I have seen. Recently started TRT and so overall I feel amazing and it helps alot with motivation.

With all that said my slip ups came solely off issues in my own head from side effects of TRT. Seems like I made the non issue an issue just to justify a drink for feeling bad about myself. I've learned (hopefully) and moved passed it with hopes of not letting those non issues take my sobriety.

Didn't really have a reason to post but just wanted to be able to write it out and if needed come back and read it again to hold myself accountable for those bad decisions. And maybe to also let anyone else that's struggling know that others do too.

[Jimbo92]

Health and fitness is one of the best remedy’s for being down in the dumps. Regular exercise keeps me sane. I’m not a fanatic but it certainly helps me some weekends to fend off the boredom and depression that leads me to drinking.

Hope all goes well, keep us updated!

[Fattofitguy in reply to Jimbo92]

Thank you! Fitness has been a bright light through these clouds for me as well.

[FatOldMan]

What is TRT?

[Fattofitguy in reply to FatOldMan]

Testosterone Replacement Therapy

[Jampacked]

Hi, An amazing post. Sharing does help. I love listening to podcasts about others journeys to remind me I am not alone. I am a women so have little insight into TRT but know that years of infertility added to my pain and sense of self and identity. The addictive voice in my head was quick to reassure me that a few drinks would blot out the pain. I am literally at war with that sneaky, addictive voice. I am 140 days but started six months ago too. Saying life is better sober is an understatement but still struggling with dealing with all those emotions that I cant blot out. Redeveloping a love of fitness, the outdoors and a sense of humour to overcome this. Keep fighting the fight.

[Fattofitguy in reply to Jampacked]

Thank you! It's crazy how hard the addictive voice sticks with those bad ideas. Congrats on the 140 days!! That is a huge win and you should be proud of that accomplishment! I hope to be there in 97 days from now. One day at a time and just have to keep taking the hits as they come and not give into my old ideas of what I should do. I am sorry to hear about your struggle with infertility as I can only imagine how hard that was to overcome. Fitness keeps me going on the right track for the most part and have been leaning on the humor side when the self conscious kicks in instead of a drink and has helped. Stay strong and keep going! You got this!! We got this!!

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to Jampacked]

Inability in handling my emotions were the core issue for me that led me back to booze all the time. I had to have that realization and once that awakening happened it was easy for me to focus on the areas I had to work on. It took lot of drastic changes in order for me to get a footing. But its worth it. Books by Eckhart Tolle helped a lot also. Learned a lot about the human mind how to transcend it.

[Fattofitguy in reply to SoberDrunk1]

I am the same when comes to my emotions as well. Alcohol has always been my crutch and trying to avoid it during these times is my biggest struggle. So easy to go back to where was comfortable but as they say change isn't easy but is worth it in the end. I will have to look at some of those books. Thank you.

[Jampacked]

I got a new job and the nervousness seemed to eat me alive. I was like a teenager all fidgety and irritable, not knowing what to do with myself. They say ' sit with the feeling' . I exercised with the feelings but I did survive. We live and learn. I will try the book too.

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to Jampacked]

I would suggest the book A New Earth and some specific segments in the book so you quickly relate to the concepts and then perhaps read the whole book.

The voice in the head

The Duck with a human mind

Carrying the past

The Pain Body

How the pain body feeds your thought.

Breaking Free

Is that so 

Can you hear the mountain stream?

[Fattofitguy]

Congrats on the new job and I can totally relate to the anxiety of how that feels with the ups and downs. Excited and nervous all at the same time. I believe there is a place for sitting with your feelings but sometimes that can be the worst thing to do. For me I try to talk about them (not easy most of the time and definitely not all the time)

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

I identify. And the answers are in the AA program. Good luck.

[Fattofitguy]

Unfortunately I fell off the wagon last night. It sucks when I was doing so good and then bam back at zero. Not only did I have a bunch of drinks I got to the point where made a fool of myself again. I'll spare the specifics but was at a buddies birthday party (all adult) and ended up reverting to my bad habits of doing shots and ended up on a dare from his wife taking everything off and leaving it off all night. They all know I was at one time a stripper 20+ years ago so not shy but now I just want to bury my head in the sand with shame of starting over and being too much last night. Really just writing this to hold myself accountable and come back to this in the future and hopefully be able read this and understand that I overcame this screw up as well. Ugh

[SoberDrunk1]

My alcoholic mind kept tricking me back into taking that first drink over and over again util I reached a point I couldn't handle it any more. I came into the rooms of AA upon being suggested by a shrink. What a blessing! If you are a problem drinker, the issue when staying stopped is that, we cant handle life on life terms, our emotions are out of control. That leads us back to alcohol, the one thing the mind knows will treat it, unfortunately once we take a drink or two, the physical craving kicks in and we end up way more than we want. Its a 3 fold misery. Spiritual, Mental and physical. The guilt, remorse and shame can be overcome if we understand that we will be repeating this over and over again because of alcoholic mind by taking action.