hi again! Long post alert sorry 😞

so I guess I’m using this post to add how things are going so far!

I want to keep connected to the group so at least my thought process is there and recognise that I need to change patterns of drinking alcohol.

I watched the documentary about AA and don’t think I need that at the moment. I am able to control my drinking if I want to, even after a bottle of 35cl. For me it’s my patterns of behaviour I need to change and if anyone has same issue I’m open to a discussion.

I need to find other ways to deal with aspects of life instead of using drink like I have most of my life since I was 13. So I am taking steps here and there to do so.

This group is a good way to speak with no judgment until I work out steps to eventually stop drinking.

[Hidden]

Hi good to see you are so positive, alcohol in moderation is great and helps to socialize, but binge or excessive home drinking can get a grip of you. I was sober for 3 years just using dry days app and a stop drinking FB group. I now enjoy a wine glass but not too many. Good luck I'm 69 so an old codger.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

hi thanks for your message. I don’t go out really to socialise drinking and use this an excuse at times. I’m trying to use that drink app but it’s not really working at the minute. But I’m pleased that worked out for you. Im defo more conscious now I’ve found somewhere to open up so hopefully it will become less. Im 39 and a child of alcoholic parents so I understand a lot and don’t want to fall into that trap. My dad passed away through alcoholism, you would think i wouldn’t touch a drop but it’s engrained on everything I have done for years. I’ll figure it out.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

My dad never drank until he was 70 and setup home with his new partner she's 69 . He started drinking whisky everyday , a bottle a week . I don't think alcoholic parents mean you are destined to follow and become a heavy drinker. I started drinking beer at 16 with my 5 mates , as I got older and married I moved onto beer and wine. I'm 70 now and and alcohol is effecting my health so a big incentive

[SoberDrunk1]

I am not sure what Documentary you watched. Alcoholics problem is not just losing control after we take one or two drinks at times. Its more than that. The unmanageability part the book AA is talking about is the emotional turmoils when we are not drinking. The state of being restless irritable and discontented. Inability to be in stable relationshiop, make a living.... then this leads us back to that thought of getting a relief by drinking couple drinks and acting on it. They hit a mental block where sometimes they just take a drink or go through what the book calls it the mental twist. This will go on for ever. This is the vicious cycle of alcoholism and drug addiction. The chapter More about alcoholism has 3 short stories you may want to read and see you can relate. In all three mini stories they show that phenomenon of "mental twist" that precedes a spree.

[Hidden in reply to SoberDrunk1]

hi. The programme is called ‘I’m an alcoholic: inside recovery’ on bbc iPlayer. I wasn’t mean to dumb down anything relating to alcoholism. Just what I know and have seen so far, I don’t think I need the AA. Not saying aspects of it wont be helpful to think about. 😊

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to Hidden]

I when i walked into the rooms of AA, had huge doubt about the whole thing. Perhaps i was befogged. But as I was desperate, I hung around the fellowship. It took sometime to sinkin. The Book Alcoholics Anonymous is a composition of experience but together by a group of drunks and I think thats what made it attractive for me.

Few things the most, The alcoholic cannot moderate, can never stay stopped on his own. Its a progressive condition. It gets worse. And the best part was, this particular paragraph:

Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums—we could increase the list ad infinitum.

I could find myself have tried most of them.

I too come from a family where there were lot of alcoholics uncles and cousins. I lost my brother at 32. And most of the drinking uncles and cousins never crossed 50.

I am the only one that survived and went past 57.

You mentioned, you could use some aspect of the program. I would like to hear what you mean by that. If "GOD"/Higher Power concepts are the one that is making you hesitate, I can clarify more for you.

[Hidden in reply to SoberDrunk1]

hi, thanks for sharing your family experiences and sorry to hear about that also.

As I am not religious I would be sceptical about the higher power concept, however, I can understand how some people use faith, or something bigger than themselves to release some thoughts and regain some direction if that makes sense.

I’d be open to reading the book, or talking to AA over the phone and see what comes of it.

For me it’s hard, because I have kids, if my ex got a whiff of me using any source of help, he would try use it against me to try take my kids.

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

I’m an atheist and the program helped me and still helps me to this day. It can appear to lean to the religious side, but all that is explained in the rooms of AA. There are good reasons for a higher power. Yes, the book helps, but reading it on your own won’t answer the questions it will create. There’s many misconceptions of AA. Sometimes from people who aren’t ready yet for the commitment to stop drinking and sometimes from people who dont fully understand the program yet. The Twelve step program is the best this world has to offer. It’s always there when it’s needed.

[Hidden in reply to Isinatra]

yes, it was interesting to learn that the programme has been the same concept for so long as it does work for people who need it. And now the book has been adapted with other cultures on mind 😊

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

Yes. The program has expanded across the world because humans are the same everywhere when it comes to alcohol abuse. No matter what religion you are or aren’t the basics for sobriety are the same. There are a lot of obstacles for different cultures to achieve sobriety and that’s a problem that needs to be overcome in time. Even though the program was created almost a hundred years ago, the basics are still sound, but new research and understandings of alcohol abuse has built upon the basics. As the co founder of AA said….more will be revealed and more has been revealed.

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to Hidden]

COVID opened up this new mode of meeting other people in recovery. Zoom meetings became popular. But just as any other medium, just be cautious anybody trying to get your personal information. aa.org.au/zoom-help/. I found this on AA web-site, looks like its a Aussie sub-site. I am sure you can call your local AA support and get more information. Also use the online version of the book Alcoholics anonymous at aa.org. As mentioned before "More about alcoholism" chapter is a great one to undertand how the alcoholic mind operates. Just prior to picking up a drink after a period of abstinence.

[Yorkiecapricorn]

AA has helped many but not without tremendous pain and suffering. There are new updated ways to obstaine with ease and compassion for yourself via podcasts, books and counselling