Moderation, not an option for me.

[FatOldMan]

It's around two months now since I first wrote on here about my attempt to moderate my drinking and was met with encouragement and support from some and warnings or negative comments from others and I now have to admit that it isn't for me. I started off well keeping the frequency and amount of booze down to what I thought was a reasonable level, only drinking 2 or three evenings per week and stopping while I still knew what I was doing. The best part was I didn't have a huge hangover in the mornings. I even wrote on here that I was doing well at moderating my alcohol intake.

( Pride comes before a fall)

The last three weeks have been an absolute disaster, I have had two days out of twenty two AF the rest have been just like the old me back again, either drunk or hungover. The only plus is that I haven't fallen out with anyone or embarrassed myself or forgotten what happened the night before, at least I think thats correct.

So it's back to abstinence for me again.

Best wishes to you all with your own battles.

[SoberDrunk1]

I always believe the realization should come within. Good luck Fatoldman.

[Jimbo92]

Gets harder before it gets easier, mate. The fact that you’ve actually acknowledged that you’re an addict puts you miles ahead of the rest.

Unfortunately moderation doesn’t work when you’re addicted to something like alcohol, even cigarettes. I think cutting down gives you a false sense of control, when in reality you don’t have any otherwise you wouldn’t take to the bottle in the first place.

Think I mentioned it a few weeks back. If you haven’t already, give Allen Carrs “Stop drinking now” it might help👍

Keep soldiering on anyway, mate. Best of luck

[DicCarlson]

It is a bitch! My advice - develop new routines that do not include alcohol - especially near the end of the work day, when you used to drink. Go walking, ramp up the distance over time. Try other exercise - go to a gym - join. Sure you're embarrassed - they're used to it. Gyms have trainers to help. Replace booze with NA beer, teas, kombucha.

I was at a dinner party the other night - I'm 10 months in - still, still, longingly looking at the bottle of wine, everyone else was drinking. I resisted - I'm committed - I want my potential back!

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to DicCarlson]

Why I like about the 12 steps of AA is the 10 step promises. I live an obsession free life. It wasn't easy in the first few months but, once I started understanding the nature of the difficulity we face, I was able to apply the principles behind each step and was able to experience the peace and serenity that comes with it.

Its all in the acceptance. I was amazed when I watched a 3 minute clip on "Alcoholic Vervet Monkies" on youtube. Its a video by BBC. We are so similiar, we are a few percentage of the population who are born with this disposition. Once we accept it, it gets easy.

[catsrock]

I'm sorry things have been rough the last 3 weeks. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm doing my best not to drink, but my depression is making that hard. It's good we all can come here to commiserate.

[Magicsack in reply to catsrock]

Hey Cats,

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a rough time with mental health. I've certainly experienced that before, and I know it isn't easy.

You may already know this, but alcohol is a natural depressant, and while we drink to hide those feelings - they never truly go away.

I do hope that you're getting help from your GP/ local mental health team. You will give alcohol up when you are ready. If your drinking is something you are keen to address, then there are various services who can help.

There's chapters in the AA book, page 416 to 418 which looks at acceptance of our problems and why it makes us feel the way we do. It might be worth reading that and chapters 3 - More about Alcoholism and 5 - How it works. These are available to just Google, if you don't have the book.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Life does get better; I promise you that.

[Jampacked]

I am still on the journey. I am still moderating and have been for over 6 months. However, sobriety remains the goal as I know if I don't I will end up drinking more than I like again at some point and in reality moderating is stressy what to drink, how much to drink, the nagging wine witch ruining what could have been a relaxing evening. It seens to be taking a long time to retrain my mind away from alcohol use. I agree that Allen Carr's book is very useful. He speaks from a qualified position observing addiction in his clients. I will be cheering on your sobriety from the sidelines use every tool in your toolbox to fight the good fight. You can do it.

[Magicsack]

Thank you for your share.

I completely get where you are coming from. They say that trying to control your alcohol problem, suggests there's a problem in the first place.

For me, one was not enough, and two was too many. Once I had that first drink, I couldn't stop. There were countless attempts to control my drinking, but I'd fail after each one. I honestly had the belief that for this alcoholic, I could moderate. Yet another failure, which in turn affects you, your health and the others around you.

I hear many people say they want to be able to control their drinking. Honestly, hats off to them if they can. For this drunk, abstinence was the only real way. That craving and obsession to drink, slowly left me when I decided to work a programme recovery.

As the promises say "we are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness" and "that feeling of uselessness and self-pity will slowly disappear" its so true - but it doesn't necessarily mean that people don't have real issues going on; but it does mean you can deal with them without picking up a drink.

Might be worth trying the app I am sober too.

Wish you all a successful journey on your road to recovery.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

I failed at moderation too. I know how you feel. AA has worked for me. Give it a try. You’ve nothing to lose.

[Isinatra]

I tried everything to not drink for decades. The only thing I never tried that really worked finally was asking for help. The addiction kept me from asking for help and what it takes for a person to finally ask….well, that’s an individual experience. The hope is that it doesn’t take the near destruction of a persons life like it did mine. My bottom was low enough for me. AA saved my life.

[Magicsack in reply to Isinatra]

I too got sober via AA and work the programme. Unfortunately, I hear far too often from some that it doesn't work - the question I then ask is: Have you done the work? Have you sat down with a sponsor and done the steps? The answer us usually a no. You can lead a horse to water...Unfortunately not everyone is ready to fully commit to sobriety, but we can but hope. I am happy to say I go, and suggest it, but thats all you can do really. I share my experience with clients on a needs must. GB