Trying again

[Health_boy99]

Hello. I am 50 this year. I am successful in my work but drink far too much Thursday to Sunday. To cope with stress. I can work from home Fridays and Mondays and muddle through. I want a better life for the sake of me, my family and my work. I have even fallen into the habit of having a couple of drinks on really bad occasions in the morning to feel better. My drinking escalated over Covid lockdown and working from home when I need to means I can hide my problem from colleagues. I am also quite fit and can usually run off even the most stiff hangover. However, this is clearly not good for me and I want to knock it on the head with the help of you guys. Let’s go!

[WilliamG]

Hi Health_boy99, are you looking to stop drinking entirely or are you looking to moderate?

[Health_boy99 in reply to WilliamG]

Hi I have tried so many times to moderate but my worry is that it doesn’t work. I am not sure to be honest but I expect my only option ultimately is to stop completely. Every time I try to moderate I end up back at square one.

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to Health_boy99]

I also couldn't moderate toward the end of my drinking career. More emotional upheavals when i tried to stay stopped that would take me back to that incidious first drink. That brought me to AA and the book Alcoholics Anonymous was so illlustrative of the alcoholic mind and the solution to overcome the emotional upheavals and lead a decent life without any thought of alcohol.

[Health_boy99 in reply to SoberDrunk1]

I have thought about AA. I like the idea. But what if you bump into a colleague or someone you know?

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to Health_boy99]

Anonymity is one of the foundational principles. We usually dont share who we see in the rooms outside of the members network. Thats one of the code. I have run into several collegues and once I ran into a teacher of my kid. We just leave what we hear and see in the rooms of AA. In fact they will welcome you and make it comfortable for you. Before you even step into the rooms of AA, you can read the chapter "More about alcoholism" from the book AA at: aa.org/sites/default/files/... and see if you can relate. The mini stories in this chapter are there to illustrate how the mind of the alcoholic works just prior to the first drink of a spree. Please reach out to me on chat if you have further questions. I will be glad to answer or point you in the right direction.

[Health_boy99 in reply to SoberDrunk1]

This is really helpful. Thank you. I think I’m going to try one this weekend.

[FatOldMan in reply to SoberDrunk1]

Thank you for sharing the link, some very interesting reading and a lot of food for thought. I have been trying to moderate my drinking and be like other people for a very long time now but with very limited success. I think that if I do decide to go to AA then I will have to go to another town because if it got out locally that I was attending meetings it would cause endless problems. My town is a small place where everyone knows everyone else's business. Sorry to Health- boy 99 for jumping in on your post. I hope it all works out well for you.

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to FatOldMan]

Yes, if the next town is not too far, you can try that. Covid opened a new avanue. There are many zoom meetings too. If you go to AA.org there should be links to those zoom calls. If you can find them, let me know i can dig into it.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador in reply to Health_boy99]

If you run into someone you know, keep in mind they are there for the same reason. And, like in my case, not a lot of people were surprised I showed up in AA. Lol.

[7Steve5]

Hi. When you are a binge drinker like me and many others, we make excuses to drink, like, stress, boredom, to relax, to sleep, for confidence, to be social, because we are happy, because we are sad, the list is endless. But the truth is they are excuses and alcohol is a drug and we are addicted and a slave to it. I am only on day 11 AF and feeling good, energy levels are up but insomnia has kicked in so seeing what other symptoms show up will be Interesting. I think you should give it ago at cutting down or having a break. I'm attempting a 30 day AF challenge, keeping logs and charting how it does. Its logical to try and good luck.

[Health_boy99 in reply to 7Steve5]

Thank you. I have done several 30 days and keep a diary of what I ate, what exercise I did and, importantly, how I felt. It’s really powerful to read back over those entries. Good luck with your 30 days : ) The only thing that happens to me is you get to the end, convince yourself yourself you don’t have a problem, and before you know it back to square one…

[7Steve5 in reply to Health_boy99]

Yeah ! I can see that that would be a problem, that's probably why ex drinkers are always considered and known as recovering alcoholics even after many years of not drinking

[Jampacked in reply to 7Steve5]

Well done on completing 11 days +

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

I have a disease called alcoholism. Actually I think it’s been changed to something like Alcohol Use Disorder. Whatever it’s called, I have it. I am powerless over alcohol and my life became unmanageable. If you put me in a room with a bottle (and no treatment), I will have to drink whether I want to or not.

I was fortunate to have a desire to stop drinking and tried Alcoholics Anonymous. That has been working for me for a long time.

If you don’t like that option, Google search treatment options. There’s something called Recovery 2.0. As well as other choices.

I tried to moderate and found I couldn’t. So abstinence is the route I take. But I can’t do it alone. I need other alcoholics to talk to. Keep checking in here and let us know of your journey.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

Here’s a good link too for Zoom AA meetings:

aa-intergroup.org/oiaa/meet...

[fauxartist]

I don't know what other's rock bottom is to make the choice to quit drinking. I had ended a relationship of five years, was looking for a new place to live, a new job, and basically starting over again. I have always taken my drinking in stride as being an old hippie, everybody I knew took it as a norm to drink and smoke pot, do a few lines, but nothing too excessive usually. But then one New Years Eve... I found myself alone, not wanting to share my gram of coke, an expensive bottle of cognac, and some killer weed, I thought I was on top of the world....and dealing with all this inevitable change was just great, I was in control....until the next morning.

Reality crept in again. For years I was a functioning drunk, physically fit, had a great job, and all the stuff I wanted....until I didn't. Hitting rock bottom doesn't mean you have to lose everything, or become a homless drunk on the streets....what an alcoholic looks like is a successful lawyer, and prominent surgeon, a successful business owner, and the guy in jail, or living in a box on the street. We are all the same....alcoholics. It's just a choice of how smart you think you are...and who's gonna win... the booze ? or for you to realize the smartest thing you can do for you is to surrender....we get sober to live...because eventually the booze will win if you don't get honest with yourself.

[Comfortnotspeed]

I think you've done such a positive thing to reach out here. I hope you find your journey to recovery one step at a time.

[Yorkiecapricorn]

hi Health boy! I really recommend you read THIS NAKED MIND by Annie Grace. Or google her 30 day alcohol experiment. I was drinking a bottle of wine a day for years and years. I never thought I could even go a day without wine due to stress. I’m on day 24 now. It’s all on an app with videos, coaches, a community of drinkers wanting to change their drinking habits and tools to rewire your brain. Good luck to you. I feel good. Oh it was $64 Canadian

[Health_boy99 in reply to Yorkiecapricorn]

thank you very much. I read the Alcohol Experiment and thought it was very good. I’ll give this a go too. Thanks for posting!

[Isinatra]

People don’t often mention that sometimes when a person starts drinking in the first place, it’s to alleviate uncomfortable feelings which could be related to the inability to handle stress or a myriad of other reasons. Getting sober and finding a support group helps many people, but once sober, sometimes therapy is needed, too. Some support groups offer counseling which is good, but not all do. I needed counseling to help with the reasons I thought I found a miracle in a bottle. I benefited from counseling as well as AA, but AA, for me, laid a more solid foundation for a long time to come. It’s very common that mental health issues and alcoholism go hand in hand. Whether at the start of the drinking or at the end of the drinking.

I’m not inferring that you have mental health issues or ever experienced any, but for some people, it’s hard enough to talk about their problems with alcohol and talk about their other possible issues as well.🍀😊