Relationships

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Alcohol ruins my relationships with other people. I find that when I drink I am at odds with others. I get so self involved that my selfishness makes caring about others impossible.

How does drinking get in the way of your interactions with others?

[fauxartist]

I'm the same... all my boundaries and filters were off when I was drunk, and I would tend to say what ever came into my head. Sometimes I felt sorry for myself, or I was self-deprecating, or I got angry at the world when I was completely sloshed. Nobody wants to be around us when we are like that. And who can blame them. We burn bridges...sometimes during a black-out drunk, and don't even know why people are angry with us. We don't remember what we said or did. I would wake up in strange places sometimes, not knowing how I got there. The damage done was immeasurable. And the damage to my body was unthinkable. They say drinking to excess and taking drugs to excess is like slow suicide, eventually it will kill you.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador in reply to fauxartist]

Yes. I was a black out drinker who would make phone calls!

[fauxartist in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

I burned so many bridges drunk dialing.... and yeah... that's why we make amends where we can and learn to let go of guilt, and regrets after that. We can only start from here and go forward.

[kenster1]

I let things bottle up and fester away and it comes out when I`ve over done it but when I`m sober it feels like nothing gets through.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador in reply to kenster1]

What d you mean “nothing gets through?” Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

[kenster1 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

just when trying to explain certain issues to my Mrs it`s like it falls on deaf ears. last week for example she hid from me about my son and the snapchat thing(bullying)and she didn`t tell me she spoke to a supposed relative of the person doing it and that she was asking outsiders for advice rather than me yet I`m his dad. obviously it played on my mind after having a drink. didn`t argue or anything but she knew I was upset.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador in reply to kenster1]

Yes, booze plays with the mind in strange ways. I make up stories in my head about people, places and things. I’m sorry you’re going through so many issues, Ken. PM me anytime.

[Isinatra]

My dad and mom would fight when they drank and she was always the loser. I swore I’d never be them, but in my second marriage, after a bout of my husband and I drinking and I was in blackout, the next day he said he came real close to hitting me. I had become my mother after all and he was almost my father. He wasn’t alcoholic, but I knew I was. I had to stop drinking and for many reasons, I couldn’t stay married to do it. My drinking escalated over the years anyway and I often think that my ex was lucky that we divorced. I saved him the misery of living with an active alcoholic. Any good will between us would have eventually been destroyed and he would have come to hate me.

Hiding my alcoholism was of the most importance, so I managed to not get telephonitis when I drank. Even in my many blackouts. But telephonitis can’t compare to my drinking and driving and the many chances I had to destroy another person and permanently end a relationship.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador in reply to Isinatra]

During my first marriage, I allowed physical abuse because I felt like I deserved it. I was usually drunk and believed I caused the fight. I got pregnant at 16 and was married at 17. So what did I know?

When I left that marriage at 23, I vowed never to be the victim ever again. My drinking progressed (as is normal with alcoholism). But I never put myself in that position after that. Other than a knock down dragged out fight with a boyfriend behind a firehouse.

My M.O. became just ending relationships when I had had enough. Throw the kid, clothes and stereo in the car and split. That’s why it’s a miracle that my husband and I will celebrate 40 years of marriage in April. Sobriety is wonderful.

[Isinatra]

I so relate…..funny…not funny…that the paths of the disease are so similar. Almost predictable. How else could the outcome of relationships end any other way when the disease of alcoholism is involved. I always “had my bags packed”. It is a miracle to finally be able to unpack the bags. Congratulations on your coming up anniversary. A toast to you with the finest of non alcoholic bubbly. Or a chocolate sunday.😋

[Ally_5]

One of the biggest reasons that finally pushed me to give up drink was how I treated others when I was drunk, especially my fiancée. I wouldn't remember 99% of what I had said or done, then hearing it all back the next day was torture and didn't sound a thing like me, or who I wanted to be. I always sound like a monster and someone who doesn't deserve her. It's either lose the drink or lose the most important person in my life.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador in reply to Ally_5]

Hopefully you can achieve your goal. Alcohol was the most important thing in my life. It came before my family. Daughter. Husbands. Jobs. Friends. To stay sober I use AA and it works for me. If you have problems stopping drinking, check it out.