Relationships with drinking and people

[FatOldMan]

I was doing well or so I thought. Then my wife decided she was having a bad day and as usual I get the blame. There's a definite bad atmosphere in the house so by mid afternoon I've had enough and open a bottle of wine. Booze is always my support when things are not going well. This is a regular occurrence and I can't see it ever changing. Don't really know why I have written this, it's not a cry for help , I think that I am just venting my frustration with the situation.

Thanks for being here.

[Orangeskys]

oh no! You were doing so well , try and brush the blame off your shoulder and start again. Good luck and rant whenever you want 😊

[FatOldMan in reply to Orangeskys]

Thanks, 4/5 days off it seems to be the most for me. Trying to look at the positive side today, I have had more sober than drinking days in the last 3 weeks and relationships are a lot better today. One day at a time.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

Couple of thoughts. There’s a line in AA literature that says something like, “It’s my defective relations with other human beings that is the exact nature of my woes, including my alcoholism.”

And the other concept I get from the 12 Steps is that I drink when things don’t go my way. I’m like the director who wants to run the whole show. I want to arrange the play.

One of the things I accept about myself is that I want what I want when I want it. And if people would only do what I want them to, I would be happy. And I need to work on that

[Isinatra in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

I was in a rehab for dual addiction and was made head of housekeeping. Before I left I apologized for being a ringmaster and it’s a character defect that I know I have and will always need to work on. They made this for me before I left. They forgave me. On the sides are painted the words…love, hope, courage and strength.

…….

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador in reply to Isinatra]

That’s great. I love that we can laugh at ourselves.

[Isinatra in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Yes… we laughed and hugged it out . Those girls were lovely in spite of.

[Hammered]

Hi Homer,

How are you. Yep, some days. Don’t beat yourself up. As I always say. Get back up. How about not drinking in the week days and say you can have a touch at the weekend for now. Limit yourself and then maybe just Saturday evening or something like that. As long as you keep trying you are trying.

Don’t give in. Keep ranting.

All the best.

Hammered.

[FatOldMan]

I know that our relationship seems bad from the way that I have described it but it hasn't always been this way and I have just got to stop reaching for the bottle at every time we argue.

[Bramble2000]

I lived like this for many years. The stress of raising 4 children, my husband being sent to prison, I didn’t think I could cope. Then one day, when my health was failing, and I was really stressing about the effect it was having on me, I quit. That was almost two years ago. I refuse to let other people’s crap have a detrimental effect on my life. At the end of the day, the crap is still there after you’ve drunk the bottle of wine. All the it does is make you relax for an hour or two out of 24. That said, I’ve replaced the alcohol with sugary foods and have put on a ton of weight which is now causing me a great deal of stress 🙄🤷‍♀️

[FatOldMan]

That's how it is with me, a few hours relief from caring about the crap in my life followed by the hangover which makes it feel much worse. As for putting on weight I have already done that so I am trying to not substitute alcohol with food, I did that 40 years ago when I stopped smoking. Thanks for your support.