Dreams? What Dreams? 😂

[Isinatra]

No, I’m not going to get all serious about how alcohol played a big part in destroying my dreams. That’s a given. And another post for another day.

After twenty years of abstention, last night I dreamt of drinking again. You’d think that after all that time the craving for alcohol would go away. In my dreams, right? Lol For me, I’ve learned that it’s an indication of the stress in my life and I better do something about it. Quick.

Sometimes when I’m stressed, I dream of seeing a buffet of all kinds of chocolate treats. I would eat it, but couldn’t taste it. Bummer. Eating chocolate in reality was what I did for about the first two years of sobriety. My body was adjusting to being denied the quick energy supplied by alcohol for so long. Decades of it. I allowed myself the luxury and comfort of chocolate or sweets, because I was already denying myself of so much. Some weight gain was a better choice than to continue drinking. I had to stop drinking at all costs. Anyway, I could and did lose the weight. My life I wouldn’t get back if I continued to drink.

In my alcohol dreams, I’m highly stressed. I’m usually in a hurry, in a time crunch, I can’t get ahead or a handle on of what I’m supposed to be doing. People are waiting on me with high expectations. Unreasonable expectations. I’m not in control, anymore. Im desperately looking for alcohol. Any shape or form. Sometimes I find it, sometimes I don’t. When I do, there’s water in it, not alcohol. I want the relief it would give, but I’m also relieved that it was water. My addiction to alcohol is still with me, even in my dreams, but the fear of what it can do to me is also there. When I wake up, I’m so relieved it was a dream, but I have to think of what triggered it. It’s important to know because my dreams are reflections of my life. If my life is that stressful, I better, as I said before, do something about it because my dreams could become my life again. And I never want that life again.

Sweeter Dreams, my friends. 😴🍫🍦

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[Millie09]

No more truer word spoken .. I too have had dreams of drinking alcohol again and like yourself my dreams have always been so so stressful.. I was always looking or searching for the drink as there was something I was either hiding from or running from but more so angry with .. my downfall after 2 years of cbt just after I had stopped drinking and failed a few times was due to how I reacted to my own emotions..

I must say I do have them under control these days . Have been totally abstinent now for 6 years I was sober previous to that for 4 years until I took care of my dad with cancer for 16mnts , sadly when he passed so did I.. too too traumatic for me to deal with so I drank for2 yrs solid did not want to live etc ... until the dreaded ascites popped its head again.

Yes ! Time to go to hospital time to rethink my actions, my sister had and still is My rock ,my best friend and with her help I had alcohol counselling and cbt so I'm now in a better position mentally to try make sure I don't pick up again..I'm lucky as I was in liver failure in 2008 , long journey but one I am very grateful for as I am so happier without booze 😊

[Isinatra in reply to Millie09]

Your story is sad but also lovely. When you said that you passed when your dad passed, I understood. But you “came back” anyway. Keep coming back. I fell many times in my journey until I accepted help. They are my rocks. And you are one of them.

Thank you for sharing your story….Glad you’re here…..💕

[Millie09 in reply to Isinatra]

Thank you.. means a lot 💞

[Rosepetal60]

All so true. And a very good reminder . Thank you.