Yet I Didn’t Drink……

[Isinatra]

I sit and wonder sometimes why I haven’t picked up a drink these last twenty years. I’ve had all the usual ups and downs. Tragic loss of close friends, decline of independence, anxiety and depression, health issues, bullying, covid, increased worry of the future, marginalization……..well, you get my drift. Maybe because I know that the outcome if I kept drinking would be far worse than all those issues put together. My premature demise. A realization I had that drove me to seek help to stop drinking. I tried to stop drinking on my own. I tried everything under the sun what I refer now to as home remedies. I needed the help from experts. I found a twelve step program. It helped me in so many ways. Not just with my alcoholism, but also how to deal with life on life’s terms. My program was free, open 24/7, organized with few rules. I didn’t have to speak, say my name or indicate I was alcoholic. Many people were there that weren’t alcoholic. They were there to listen and be educated for whatever reason. Well, I listened all right and made my decision to keep going back. I like to give credit when credit is due. I have to give credit to my program for keeping me from drinking because of what life has thrown at me these last twenty years. I think even if I wasn’t an alcoholic, I still could have benefited from the program.

My hat off to anyone who reads part of my story and might remember a little something from it that could help them in their own personal journey. 💖

[Hidden]

Amazing story, very powerful. Isinatra you are an excellent role model and I can guarantee that many people would have been saved because of your testimony. Praise God.

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, Bifield34. Words of encouragement like yours are so helpful to not only me , but to others as well.

[Hidden in reply to Isinatra]

I was not really into shorts, pints of bitter/lager/cider, you get the picture. It was a gradual increase over time that I didn't see. I was working hard and in the pub every night. 20 pints every night. Then I met my wife to be. I truly believe that I was on the slippery slope to alcoholism. I would walk out of the pub as sober as I went in.

That was 30 years ago. Now, I still enjoy a pint or a glass of wine but not to excess. In fact I would prefer a cup of tea as my drink of choice. I can walk into a pub and drink coke or other soft drink and have just as good a time as others getting drunk and not even be tempted myself. It's been a journey but I am still going. My story could have been a lot different. 22 years ago, I met Jesus and health issues aside, I have never looked back.

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

I’m happy you found the strength to take the right path. However you achieved it. Thank you for your story and I’m also very happy you are here to share it.

[Hidden in reply to Isinatra]

I was lucky. When I look at the people alcohol has taken - George Best, Alex Higgins to name two. No matter how strong we are, a difficult time can move the direction of our lives. I remember being so desperate for a drink, searching all over the house for money. I wasn't far off. Some of my physical health issues could be down, partly, to alcohol.

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

I hear a lot of self reflection and how alcohol can convince a person to ignore the negative consequences of consuming it. I did for too long. It robbed me of a big chunk of my life I’ll never get back. That’s what alcohol did for me. Your health issues may or not be directly linked to alcohol, but you’ve stopped the probability of that happening in the future. You have a back up plan to help you in those times when you don’t feel strong. A support system that has helped you in the past and will be there for you if needed in the future.

[Hidden in reply to Isinatra]

I don't know what to say but you just made me cry. After all these years, it's still hard.

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

I know it can be hard. I still have those days, too. That’s why you and I are here together…..to make those days a little softer until they pass. And they will. I missed your reply, that’s why it took so long for you to hear from me. Im sorry for that.

[Hidden in reply to Isinatra]

No need to apologise. Thank you for your kind words.

[Isinatra]

No upside down face, Happyman. Put on a happy face 😄 instead. Happy that you aren’t drinking today. I had a lot of upside down faces, too. I can’t say I’ll never drink again, but just for today I’m determined not to. Just like you. 😁

[Isinatra]

😁💪🏼

[Hidden]

It isn't easy to quit using alcohol. Especially when you have problems that cause you to want to forget them. The only I could forget was thru drinking. I had to find a different way of handling my issues. So glad you could find help for your alcohol use. Twenty years is a great accomplishment. 😎🙂

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

Alcohol is definitely the quickest way to forget something. But as you and I know, the memories are still there when we sober up. Learning how to deal with those memories….well, I benefited from therapy for those. Thank you, Itzallgood1. Congratulations to you as well, my friend.🎪

[Hidden in reply to Isinatra]

I agree the memory is still there after sobering up. Makes you feel worse because the alcohol didn't solve anything. Just made you forget for a short time. Wasn't worth it in the end.🌼

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

Exactamundo, my friend. You got it.

[Hidden in reply to Isinatra]

⚘ I'm glad we both kicked the 🍺 thing. 🙃. To any young person who thinks this is a way out. WRONG!! Think again.... There's better options than alcohol or drugs.🤟

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

I can only speak for myself , but my experience isn’t unique. I’m addicted to alcohol. I’m an alcoholic. I will be forever an alcoholic in recovery because there is no cure. I haven’t beaten it. You might say I’m in remission for if I ever picked up one drink there is no guarantee I will stop. It’s not worth the risk. In order to stay in remission, I will always have to have a support system. A program that I follow as closely as humanly possible. I can never sit on my laurels and think I’ve got this. If I do, I let my guard down,I get complacent, stop working my program and then I drink. I can’t stay sober on my own. I faced my inevitability of premature death. I won’t say I’m sorry for my strong words. Because alcoholism is a deadly disease, just like cancer Or a myriad of other diseases. I can’t take it lightly. Luckily, the younger generation is more educated about addiction than I was at their age. The stigma is slowly being lifted because addiction is being talked about more openly. More people are doing something about it before they hit their rock bottom. They’re not waiting until their lives have been destroyed to seek help. That’s a good sign, even though way to many are still waiting too long. Now if our government could see it in their heart to increase resources for treatment and education of all addictions…..well…that would be the best Christmas present ever. 🎅🏻

[Hidden in reply to Isinatra]

Amen. I know I said we've kicked. Yes we're always going to be alcoholics but we've kicked it because we are proactive in it and are not going to let it beat us. I like to look at it that way because I feel I've accomplished something and am in control of it now. Yes alcoholic but I knocked it out and not going back. So that way I feel I've won over my addiction. But yes still an alcoholic. I have the label but it's not in control of me anymore.

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

Yes, we’ve massively accomplished something. I understand what you’re saying. But i can never say I’m in control. Not in any shape, way or form. Not for me. The word control means I am more powerful than my addiction. Which would mean that I am not addicted. Thinking like that is what puts me right back where I was. A reason to play with fire because I can put it out anytime I want. There’s no guarantee that I can. I have to think that way or die. I have a reprieve from drinking that I hope lasts for the rest of my life. But that’s all it is….a reprieve, for me, the alcoholic.

[Hidden in reply to Isinatra]

I suppose everyone has a different way of dealing or perspective of things. You've accomplished a lot for your addiction. You deserve a medal for it. Notice I didn't say gold medal because like an silver medalist of an Olympian they know they have work to do to get that gold medal. I know I still have work to do with mine because I know I have to steer clear of the ones that got me to that point. They may ask me to go out with them yet but because I don't want to fall into that trap again I don't go out. But honestly 20 years you would get a gold medal from me for all the work you put into be sober wins a gold for me. Lift our empty glasses to salude another 20 years of sobriety to you.🙂🌹🏅

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

😁Thank you for your kindness. But a medal? I’ll take the silver standing next to you. And I’ll leave the gold for my headstone that says…..she died sober.

[Hidden]

And I with you.❤❤❤❤❤

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

💖

[Isinatra]

Good memories 🩵