Worried about my dad

[Freshsmellingmustard]

Hey everyone, Im really worried about my dad, he had a stoke in December and lost alot of his right arm, which is still slowly coming back. he hasnt quite been the same since, Which i understand, his memory isnt great. and he seems to have lost his sparkle.

Im worried because hes just so tired and complains he feels weak all the time.

Hes nothing but skin and bone but he will eat. i cook for him every night and stay whilst he eats.

Hes on alot of medication artervastatin (i think(

And others for blood pressure.

I took him to the doctors and all his stats were fine. blood sugar BP And temp.

He has three appointments next week. for cardiology vascular. and to meet with the stroke team, these are his first appointments since the stroke! Doctor doesnt think it has anything to do with his medication,

Normally he would go to bed maybe 11pm. but now hes so tired at around 5:30pm and will fall asleep. hes 72 this year. but only a year ago he was working full time.

I cant understand how hes gone downhill so quickly

[Marinamac]

Hi. Sorry to hear about your dad. I had a stroke just over a year ago. A stroke does leave you feeling very tired and it is very early days since his stroke. The brain is working hard to mend itself and it takes a lot out of you. I still fall asleep in the afternoon most days. He will also be coming to terms with what has happened. These things happen suddenly and it knocks you completely. I know it did me. Sometimes I think I'm still coming to terms with it all. Hope this helps a little bit.

[6regor]

My own stroke was in March 2014 and I'd love a good sparkle again. I totally understand how he feels. losing a chunk of your brain is shattering in so many ways - Physical(I still have a lot of pain and no use of my left arm and I get exhausted even thinking about things. You are being wonderful supporting him as you do - and I genuinely understand how tough it is for you quite a lot of partners and family members feel unable to cope and disappear.of course he has rocketed downhill and I'm sure he is well aware of that fact, which makes things even worse for him. my wife died before the stroke and livinng aloneis pretty tough - I've learned to loathe ready meals but how would I manage otherwise?? all the very best to you both#Freshsmellingmustard I hope you still have friends and are able to socialize from time to time It's important to your dad that you are able to keep your spirits up as he doubtless already feels a burden to you

[annlynne in reply to 6regor]

Gregor, you speak such sense. Yes after a brain attack you are so conscious that you are a burden on friends and family. But you made it. you survived, that takes some strength of character and you should be proud of yourself. Give yourself time to grieve for the loss of the man you were and accept the man you have become . Try to take up new interests. I wish you all the very best.

Annlynne

[6regor in reply to annlynne]

thanks#annlynne

[moo196]

Brief reply, as I still get tired and few jobs to do...

But my stroke was oct 14, aged just 49.

Medical fatigue is common and unlike normal " tiredness". In the early months - yes, months- I needed to sleep ,7-7 every night. Over 6months I pulled it back gradually to be more like 9-7....occasionally I can stay up later, but often in bed by 9.

Have you contacted headway...may have more help for you/your dad.

Good luck

[MIchael_Crammer]

Hello Freshsmellingmustard .. The most important 'help' you can give your Dad is to 'be there'. I had a stroke in Dec 2014 followed by a TIA a year later. I think I am one of the lucky ones as I haven't lost any functionality in my arms but have lost mobility in my legs. during the stoke event I aspirated [regurgitated into my lungs] and a prolonged period on my back bedridden for 5 months 'Nil by mouth' robbed me of the ability to walk or balance very well. Gradually with support and dedication from my Wife and a care package which attended me for some months after discharge, I take each day as it comes. I attend an Aquarobics class at my local swimming baths twice a week - which boils down to being immersed up tp your kneck in water and leaping about for 45 mins to 80- 90's music. I find the support the water gives my body a great help and I get to exercise the legs which is my 'aftershock effect' hat I am trying to overcome. I also attend a 'Mature Moovers' session once a week - 45 mins of chair based exercise sitting and standing. I will be 73 = tomorrow so your Dad is still relatively young in my eyes. You should encourage him to get out of the house - is there an exercise regime near you like the ones I have described?

I understand your concern about the loss of his sparkle - its early days, inspire him to get better and to start living again! I too feel tired - but I like to think I have learned to listen to my body. If I feel tired I snooze!

[Brenda1946]

Hi my name is Brenda1946 and i had my stroke 4th July 2014. I still dont have some use in my left arm and leg. I also like everyone else get tired easily. Its hard because your brain tells you that you can do some of the things you did before your stroke but when you try it takes much longer and you cant you get very frustrated - i do. The only think i tell myself is that will do it no matter how long it takes. I have learnt to knit again on a smaller scale, go to a craft club which the people there help me and an adult colouring club. I also go shopping with my walker with my husband. So keep trying you will i hope like me feel a little more useful again