I am a person, and a patient.... a mighty fine one

Spotty Pajamas's I cannot find amongst the chaos I now call my wardrobe which is floor, chair, bottom of cupboard, any where as the sea of my untidiness consumes more of the dry land that I am. For someone who is a maverick with a hint of order its a little heart wrenching.

I am a patient, a mighty fine one, I have learn't to be. That is what allows me to be the person I love. She's a new girl, compared to the old one, but I gave the old one up as soon as I knew that clinging on to her was pointless and unnecessary.

What do I mean a 'good patient' well I do a number of things to ensure I get the best chance I believe I can in this new shape. I may repeat myself here...

1. I know who I am warts and all

2. I put me first (and funnily in doing so its better for those around me)

3. I don't wish for things that don't currently exist

4. I focus on communication

5. I am creative

6. I don't allow my PD to dictate terms, yes it may remove options but I can do that back!

I feel so strongly that we are not in a dress rehearsal, for me this life is one life. I can't watch it with angry eyes, nor bitter ones. I can't let it slip away whilst I lament, I can't. I am alive from head to toe. I have to seize joy, find inspiration, keep motivated, Illness is lonely, you have to tackle it from within, but you so can do it, you so can. Support and friendship such as I find on this website are exactly what is needed. Turn a bad thing into a good one, turn disaster into opportunity, turn chaos into fun. I have never worked harder, been more challenged, done some amazing things, is it a better life post PD, it may well be......

C

[compucure]

It is said that losing is gaining and thank you for your wise words. It is a challenging journey we have set out upon and I admire your strength and hope. I have yet to reach a place where I am not scared anymore.....

[Hidden in reply to compucure]

Being scared is pretty awful. I am not scared I just hope I can keep my grace and patience. I write letters to myself .... 'open me if your speech starts to fail' the letter tells me to find other ways to communicate, reminds me of all the good things I did when I had a strong voice still like a radio show. And many other topics..... I even made myself sit in one place for hours looking for ways to sink into my head and find a place that I could cope with and I did. I don't know we all have to try and find some way that makes it a little less daunting. Don't stop working to find that and balance it will surely come

[compucure in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your reply. Perchance the journey of a thousand miles begins with one small footstep! I hope I can find your courage and fortitude.

[jillannf6]

hi henderson heywood

yoru words r so true and i enjoy your blogs

i have PSP and use this site and hte psp site

keep bloggijng and a happy new year 2 you !!

love jill

[AndyC]

Hi, lovely words, thanks for posting

Andy x

[Hidden]

I only wish the blog had been here when I first discovered my PD. Thank you all for helping to take the fear out of my future and helping me stay positive about we my life will lead me.

[hopet]

Thanks for sharing. I shared it with my family.