Just over 4 weeks ago I had an emergency operation. I was told it could go either way, I made it through the operation, I had a perforated bowel, an abcess the size of a rugby ball so my surgeon told me, he told me I was stoic ! I didn't know what that meant!! I had to look it up!! I have a colostomy bag now and I'm told I have Chrohons disease, there is apparently some left in my bowel so I have to have further tests, it's not curable but can be put in remission. I also had a pleural effusion, my left lung filled with fluid and it was difficult to breath!! I had a litre and a half of fluid drawn off, but my breathing is still not as it should be, however it is slowly dissipating . I feel frightened sometimes, very anxious about everything!! I have a wonderful partner who does everything he can to support me but I can see sometimes he dosnt no what to do with me. I've always been very strong and independent. I feel broken sometimes!! I hate that I can't shake these fears off, worrying won't help me recover but I can't stop it sometimes!! I try distracting myself which helps but other times it dosnt. Now everything I do or think has the potential to go wrong!! That's how my mind thinks. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.