J210k - conflicting emotions, demons and a general catchup......cue blog of epic length

Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned.....it's been two weeks since my last procrastination ;)

Last Sunday I finished J210K wk3 with a 60min run. Despite finding it sooooooo though I felt elated afterwards and recovery is always very quick. By the time I got home and showered my lovely daughter and her Dad had cleaned and tidied the house ready for us all to have a nice chilled day :) So with all this spare time I sat to write my blog. I wrote a few things but to be honest I had so many thoughts and feelings, most of them conflicting and very jumbled that I knew I should just sit with them for a while before trying to articulate them.

Now, a week later days later, I'm giving it another go...........

In the early days I always cleared my mind and focused mentally before a run. I would even do a little visualisation if I felt nervous or afraid of a particular run. Over time I seem to have ditched this rather helpful habit but I am not sure when or why......perhaps it was after having two weeks off with a nasty asthma attack and then being so eager to get back?

At the moment we are training so hard to be ready for the 10k. As the slowest this has meant that on our long slow runs, where it's now 10k or last week +10mins tll 10k, I ran 60 mins last Sunday(7.5k) and will probably try to consolidate with the same this Sunday.

On Tuesday I did some 400m track intervals on the treadmill. It was ACE, I love intervals :) for me, they really put the pleasure back in and the adrenaline rush is awesome! We did the usual circuits for half an hour afterwards and went back later that evening for our body pump class. i train 6 days a week so usually on a Wednesday I am a bit knackered but this week I was feeling energised. Even so, i still switched my usuall step aerobics class for Pilates in order to stretch and help my recovery along.

On thursday I did a 35 min tempo run. I increased my speed and was just short of the 5k :) I was very pleased with this but again the run was harder than usual. I think my body is working hard adapting to the training but I am eating well, resting and keeping hydrated so am managing to bounce back and avoid any major niggles.

Today's 60min run was tough once again, I really wanted to run outside today with our daughter on her bike but she was not well with a sore throat, earache and fever yesterday so we decided to use the treadmill. I am SO over the 'mill!! It has served me well but I am just struggling with the lack of stimulation and fresh air. I will not bore you with aches and pains, cement legs and demons that plagued me from the first 10mins lol, for I don't want to give them any more energy than they have received of late. Needless to say they are there in more abundance than during couch to 5k. I think this is pretty normal considering our schedule and the extra weight I carry but afterwards......I felt amazing and it just seems to make me wonder if I imagined that I might actually drop dead if I put one more foot in front of the other. I certainly do not consider these bad runs as from the first week of c25k I was uncomfortable but I soon learned that I could hold that space, run and breathe all at the same time, whilst telling myself how fabulous I was :) so for me this is normal but still intense. We all go through this I know and I have reflected in my previous blogs that many would give so much for my niggles and woes just to have the opportunity to run, to be free and fully present in their body. So it is them that I think of during those torturously slow minutes before I chin up, shoulders back and down.......breathe and relax and ignore the occasional but off putting negative comments which have appeared of late. :)

So I think I have finally figured out my confusion and conflicting emotions. When I went to blog last Sunday and a few times since I have felt happy, content and very excited at my achievements, so then to share the challenges of my run whilst feeling so up beat and having moved on, it felt a bit strange. Even my perspective of how the run was changes pretty much the instant I complete it.......a little like giving birth lol! I always search for truth and authenticity so was stuck between the reality of the run and how I felt about it afterwards. Both truth but I feel much more clear now (having probably confused the heck out of you guys) so thx for listening :)

Moving forward.......in four weeks on this very day I will complete my first ever race and possibly my first ever 10k (if not before)!!! I ran 7.6k today so am still on target for about 1hour 20 which would be wonderful! My demons can 'jog on'.......I know I can do it!

On a shopping note......(shoppers you know who you are) my other half treated us to gait analysis in a PACKED Cardiff city centre this Sat, where if you were lucky you could have seen me running around with my trousers rolled up over my knees, running past all the rugby walla's (nice 1 Ireland) whilst the woman looked at my feet.......it was MOST amusing but resulted in lush new trainers ;). My old ones were so bad she said they were fit for the bin:( I was also treated to a lush Garmin but amazon didn't make me do anything strange to get that :)

Wishing you all the very best and well done if you got to the end without nodding off

Jems x

7 Replies

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  • Great blog, I'm in ore of anyone that can run on a treadmill for an hour, virtual pat on the back. I agree intervals are fantastic training days, I get a get feeling after.

    Enjoy your new trainers and garmin.

  • *great feeling after

  • Lol thanks Phil :) and people say it's so much easier! I think not.

  • Loved reading your blog Jems. Smashing shopping trip to finish too. YOu should fly through your 10K, take your time to get into your comfortable space no one elses. Wishing you all the best for your big day.

  • Ah thank you or the vote of confidence and the great advice, just what I needed :)

  • you will do it, for sure. Love the blog. Shopping sounds great :-) Totally understand what you mean about the conflicting feelings, I also have exactly the same, some really hateful points in a run, but as soon as it's over, euphoria hits (endorphins, actually) and then I can't stop grinning :-D

    Good luck with the run, but it doesn't sound like you will need it ;-)

  • Cheers Vixiej! I am parshall to an endorphin or two myself ;) I will bundle your well wishes with the others and take them with me on the day... :)

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