It can be so easy at times to get lost in all the adversity that comes from CLL, treatment and this life. I don't want to list all the hard, gut wrenching things I've encountered of late. Rather, I want to focus on getting past the denial, anger or depression side of grief and on to the accept and adjust or adapt.
For every challenge, I feel like I have been able to find a solution to keep moving, find meaning and contribute in life. And I want to praise God for His love, help and guidance in all of this. He is truly Good.
After a lot of research and adaptation, I am back on the trail again. Last night I climbed higher and faster than I have in 2 years and was deeply rewarded as I smelled the glorious pines, felt the crisp air on my face, moved my muscles and joints, and took in the beauty. It made me think of the Hymn, For the Beauty of the Earth and I actually memorized it while on the hike.
Here a re a couple of pics that I hope you can enjoy.
Skipro
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skipro
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I like the first photo, because if we are ever going to get to that beautiful view of the mountains beyond, we have to get through the tangle of underbrush in front of ourselves first.
We've got to feel before we can heal. Not the primary impulses, pain or fear - because we aren't acting with understanding, we are only reacting to stimulus. We need to size up what ever it is we're facing and develop hope and courage to follow through and make whatever journey is required.
Yes skipro, thank you for your inspiring message, beautiful photos, and for bringing to mind a favorite hymn from childhood; For the Beauty of the Earth. It brought tears of thankfulness to my eyes when singing it just now.
I’m striving to keep my heart and eyes on Christ and His beautiful creations rather than the storm tossed waves of doubt, fear, self pity, and the long list of others that come with the disease and treatment
I know two things for sure. Every struggle I have survived has made me strong enough to face the challenges of today and grow closer to God. And if I didn’t have strong faith and a close relationship with God I’d be lost. May God bless you and through your struggles bring you closer to Him. 🙏
Hard to concentrate on the negative with such beautiful surroundings. May God continue to bless you with His strength and a full life. Thanks for sharing. Sally🙏
Nice -thank you for,sharing and hoping you eventually share these beautiful pictures with others too. So glad you are doing awesome spiritually, mentally and physically 👏
thanks, Skipro. It’s good to know that beauty and calm is out there in the treeline and sunset, though it can be an evanescent thing—hard to grasp sometimes, vanishing quickly, though the hope is work or acceptance finds it once more. … On that score, I recently read Being Mortal by Atul Gawande, a Boston surgeon, who does a good job talking about accepting happiness in difficult times through the struggle of his father and others. I normally avoid challenging topics, but it was worthwhile, grounded and intelligent.
Fortunate that you can do the altitude. I began to get altitude sickness only halfway up in Taxco Mexico. This despite the first 13 years of my life spent daily up in small aircraft since we owned an airport. Count this ability as an additional blessing.
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Taken off Ibruitinib for a week due to mouth sores. Not sure about the next move. 
