Covid and kiddos-what's your strategy?

[CoCoLuna11]

All through quarantine we have been telling our 12 year old that she will be able to visit and sleepover at friends once my husband and I ( me with CLL and he in his 60s) were vaccinated and barring no big Covid surprises. Here we are, both fully vaccinated, and not sure we are ready to deliver on that promise. The increasing numbers and breakthrough cases along with the question of immunity in CLL folks is causing us to be apprehensive (he more than me). Not to mention, even if parents are vaccinated, kids are not and while other kids are back in school mine is still online. I'm not in treatment, still riding the wave of one in 2015 but I do get IVIG every 6 weeks. If it were just me I could keep on isolating but my heart is breaking for her. What are parents doing?

[Tton46]

That’s absolutely what you’re comfortable with! I decided I’m not going to live in fear and would just be extra sanitary! I guess that’s some form f fear! Our son has been in school 5 days a week all year, and we had kids over since day one of the quarantine over a year ago, I personally have kept on living normal, not stopped seeing friends, hugging and kisses on the cheek always. I don’t eat or drink after anyone, just sanitize , and we do not even wear the masks... except for when I have dr appointments at MdA. I imagine it’s very frightening after living so long in fear. It worries me what the long term damage this is causing our kids ! Hope you find peace in making this tough decision!😘

[CoCoLuna11 in reply to Tton46]

Thanks for your reply! That sounds like a very different approach than we’ve been taking. I admire your courage and glad that you were able to keep the status quo and remain unscathed. 🤗

[Tton46 in reply to CoCoLuna11]

❤️ I don’t think there is a right or wrong here, just whatever you are comfortable with! Sleepovers scared me before corona!! Best of luck, stay well!!😘

[CoCoLuna11 in reply to Tton46]

Haha!! There is that. That’s a totally different fear. I know there isn’t one way that’s the right way. I guess I am hoping that hearing how others (with CLL) are dealing with this will help me reach an aha moment so I can feel like I’m doing the right thing for us again.

[JaimeK]

Hi CoCoLuna, I have a 10 and 7 year old. I homeschool them, so they are not in school. But I do allow them to play with the neighborhood kids outside only. And we still meet up with our friends to play. But we do ALL outdoor events as I am still not comfortable with indoor stuff. My husband is a firefighter and has been exposed to Covid several times. We have all been spared thankfully. But for us, we just take extra precautions, lots of hand washing and cleaning. We wear masks only when we have to. But like Tton46 said, it is what YOU are comfortable with. Blessings🙏🏻

[CoCoLuna11 in reply to JaimeK]

That’s closer to what we’ve been doing. She has been able to meet up with friends outdoors. It’s the indoor stuff that I’m not sure we’re ready for. And now I’m questioning my position altogether. Where I once felt confident in the boundaries I set I now feel totally unsure 😩

[JaimeK in reply to CoCoLuna11]

I completely understand...who could blame you with all the conflicting misinformation out there. Some days I don’t know whether I’m coming or going myself. This is just my opinion, but I think mental health is just as important as our physical health. A very difficult decision to be made for sure. But whatever you choose, it will be right for your family and this is just temporary. My daughter recently has asked me to teach her how to cook, so we have been having fun with that. Take care, Jaime

[ChristyAnne_UK]

As I see it, whatever the numbers are doing, there are individual people behind each number, and there is no guarantee that the first person you - or your daughter - come into contact with won’t breathe Coronavirus droplets in your face. On the other hand, you may never meet anyone who could infect you. As a CLL patient, you are at much greater risk than the average person, and any contact is a gamble with your life.You can swing between being totally naive and open to whatever comes at you, or totally isolated, or somewhere in between. It’s your choice. I imagine most people will consider the potential consequences for themselves and others, and choose a space between that they can live with.

Have you discussed the issues with your daughter and laid your cards on the table? Have you explained that now we have more information about how poorly the vaccines work for us that it changes things? Have you asked for her thoughts? I just hope she would understand that you are very much more vulnerable than the average person.

Tough situation to be in. Try to find a compromise, maybe? I liked what Jaime said about meeting up outside.

Wishing you all the best! x

[CoCoLuna11 in reply to ChristyAnne_UK]

You bring up a really important part in all this. I have talked a bit about Covid and me being extra vulnerable with CLL. But, one of my main concerns since diagnosis was not wanting to burden my daughter in any way because of it. My MO has always been to downplay it. I think she understands more than I give her credit for. I’m the one angry and frustrated that she is having to sacrifice. It probably doesn’t help that she is our only child so friend time is extra important to her.

[ChristyAnne_UK in reply to CoCoLuna11]

I understand. Personally, I think there may be other important life lessons here, too, such as learning that it’s ok to adapt our plans when circumstances alter the factors in our decision-making. If you involve her in the decision-making, and show that you trust her, she may surprise you. Anyway, that’s just me. You have to do you. You can only do the best you can with the tools you have in the moment. Good luck! xx

[HopeME]

The situation you describe makes for added agony in this whole mess. I have two kids in the same age range as yours. I feel your pain as they say. My kids have been going to school on a two days on and two days remote basis for most of the pandemic, although recently this switched to everyone back in school full time. When the kids went back into school full time the social distancing went from 6-feet to 3-feet as it was no longer possible to keep them 6-feet apart in the classrooms. We have always had the option of fully remote learning and still do but we opted to allow our kids to go to school to protect them from falling behind socially. This is a very personal and difficult decision and it obviously comes with trade offs. My wife and I have been vaccinated. Me fully and her one shot so far. I definitely feel the pull of its time to get back to normal both from my wife and society as a whole.

As far as sleep overs I think I’d say no, although I haven’t faced that decision. That being said, we are allowing our oldest to go to a three week camp this summer. The protocol of the camp seems good withCovid testing, social distancing, etc. but these are young kids so I don’t know anyone can fully protect them. My kids have also been active in sports and they have interacted with kids outside in the neighborhood and this will continue. Am I getting complacent? Yes. I would say definitely I am. It’s hard to fight everyone moving back to an all clear mode.

One of my challenges especially with my wife is I haven’t been sick (cold, fever, infection) forever. It’s hard to be in a state of readiness forever without letting down your guard. Interestingly, my kids have both been sick this week. My wife assures me it is allergies and not Covid as they don’t have fevers. I have my doubts. The good news is we are going to find out as they need Covid tests before going back to school in person on Wednesday. This is protocol at the school since last week was April vacation so everyone needs to be tested before returning to in person learning. I guess I’m potentially testing my Covid vaccination, too. I’m rambling. Sorry. I have no answers for you but you are not alone.

Good luck,

Mark

[CoCoLuna11 in reply to HopeME]

Thanks Mark! That is our situation with school too and we just decided (with her) to keep her home since so little time was left anyway but we did consider sending her back. I feel like she is as likely to get Covid at school than she is at a sleepover. I am also just ready to join in with everyone else loosening up - and then, I’m not. I’m all over the place. Camp was something she will miss this summer too but mainly because it was canceled so I don’t have to make that decision. Thanks for empathizing and I hope it’s allergies!

[Big_Dee]

Hello CoCoLuna11

At 12 years old, not having girl sleep-over is major drama. It is difficult to not to telegraph our fears to our kids. My personal opinion would be to wait, but that is just me. Blessings.