Finally had to give in: Hi All. I've managed to... - CLL Support

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Finally had to give in

saintjohn profile image
11 Replies

Hi All.

I've managed to carry on working throughout the 6 years and 6 months since diagnosis,even managed ro return to work full time after my first round treatment regime 3 years ago, but sadly I have had to come to terms with no longer being strong enough to do my job.Work have been really supportive throughout (after a dodgy start with an old manager) but they can no longer employ me as a lone night shift worker due to my immune system being down and the high risk of infections (this also means they cannot give me day work because I'd be around too many people).

Not sure how I'm going to cope with this either financially or emotionally,I suppose only time will tell.

Regards

John

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saintjohn profile image
saintjohn
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11 Replies
G1llHa1n profile image
G1llHa1n

Query looking up? - sounds much more like looking about in all directions. I do wish you every success in finding whatever is genuinely best for you. Peace and blessings to you for your best course from this point on.

Jm954 profile image
Jm954Administrator

Hello John,

I can hear how reluctant you are to give up work, both financially and emotionally it will take some adjustment.

You've done so well to continue working so long and to go back after your treatment but this a new phase of your life and now is the time to embrace it as it cannot be avoided.

I'm sending lots of good wishes, enjoy this time!

saintjohn profile image
saintjohn in reply to Jm954

Absolutely dreading it on both fronts,going in to work had given me a sense of worth and a great deal of strength.

I was a security officer in a 4 story building full of Solicitors but made many friends who showed great concern and support,it almost felt like they were looking after me rather than the other way round. I'm going to miss that part of my routine big time.

Regards

John

Jm954 profile image
Jm954Administrator in reply to saintjohn

Bless you John, you must be a lovely person to have built those friendships. You will find a new routine, perhaps a dog or some other purpose in your life x

Peggy4 profile image
Peggy4

Such a hard decision to come to. Even if finances were not a problem it would still be difficult as we all like to think that we will finish work when WE are ready not when it’s forced upon is.

Health is everything that’s for sure BUT we all need money to live. Of of course the best things in life are free BUT it would still be nice to be able to take that trip, buy something silly and so on. Not to mention the phsycological effect that work has on us-structure, part of a team, feeling worthwhile etc..

As someone who has been financially unstable all my life adult life through different things beyond my control, I understand your fear. I feel the same. My whole life is changing at the moment too.

There will be positives for sure, cling on to them. A period of readjustment definitely but who knows you may even look back and realise you did the best thing? I certainly hope this is the case.

Very best wishes to you

Peggy

Mcpill profile image
Mcpill

Wishing you all the best as you make this transition. A difficult decision that we all must eventually make. You have done well to continue working for 6 + years. I wish you all the best with everything.

noeagaman profile image
noeagaman

John, I have been strugling with fatigue at work for about eight months now post FCR. I often think that I should hang it up, but my wife lost her job back when I was going through FCR (her boss retired and closed his business) and has not found another job so I am the sole provider. On top of that we are having a new house built so I have to at least wait until we close on that next month. I wont be of retirement age for another five years so that isn't an option either. It is a tough road that we are all on. I hope that you have a less bumpy journey down that road in the future John.

Chris

AdrianUK profile image
AdrianUK

So sorry to hear that. I remember well the day I decided I had to give up working at least for now. It’s real tough. Maybe there’s something else you can do?

Calopteryx profile image
Calopteryx

Oh John, I'm so sorry. It must have been a very difficult decision. I totally get how much work means to you. It gives purpose, a sense of value, and social networks. I wish you all the best in this transition period, and hope you find other activities to fill the gaps. You will be fine though, you're made of strong stuff.

C x

Newdawn profile image
NewdawnAdministrator

I’m sorry to hear this John as we were dx at exactly the same time. I can’t go into too much detail on an unlocked post but I do fully understand how this feels.

I really hope you can find something less taxing and risky because it’s clear this job means more to you than money even though that’s vital.

It’s just awful when we have to admit defeat physically because the mind still needs the stimulation and socialisation. Take some time, get some much needed rest and see if there’s sufficient improvement to maybe do something part time and preferably daytime in the future.

Sending huge best wishes,

Newdawn

eric72 profile image
eric72

If you7 are in the UK then please contact Macmillan Cancer Care, as they are brilliant with advice for cases such as yours, not only with financial advice but health concerns too.

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