Dating advice 💖

[Crystal246]

Hello everyone!

I wanted to ask what everyone's dating experience has been like living with a visible difference? I am 20 years old and I had cancer in my face (still going through reconstruction) when I was 18 years old. I've never had a proper boyfriend and I fear it will never happen because I look different.

Do you guys have any advice or your own stories that you can tell me about? Thank you xx

[ania-be]

For a long time I thought that there was no chance that someone would consider me an attractive person. Therapy helped a little bit and the experience a little bit. I dared to start dating for the first time only at the age of 25 but without any great faith in success. I was in one very casual relationship. At the age of 29 I thought -"fuck it", let's try. I set up a profile on Tinder and started dating. And it turned out that there are a lot of guys who consider me an attractive person. After two years of trials and errors I found a great guy, now we are engaged.

Along the way I had some unpleasant situations, I got some unpleasant comments. One of the guys, after seeing me live, walked out after 30 minutes and stopped talking to me.

But there are many people who don't have to have a partner with a perfect look, besides, who of us is really perfect? During the dating I found out that I have great legs, divine body, good breasts, beautiful eyes and the fact that I have an asymmetrical face didn't bother too many people. I wish I put myself out there earlier.

And I really recommend dr. Nerdlove blog on dating - it gave ma a lot of practical advices and not very fortunate but still very interesting reality show Undateables that show people with different disabilities trying to date. It greatly simplifies reality (and this title!) but it made me realize that dating is not easy but still worth trying.

Good luck and be brave

[Kaylinmcl]

Hi, I am 23 and have only had 1 proper relationship. I was with my ex for 5 years on and off and we have a beautiful baby girl together. I always felt like this growing up as I was born with a facial difference but I truly believe there's someone out there for everybody and everything happens when it's meant to, enjoy being single and working on yourself boyfriends aren't worth the hassle sometimes 🤣 xx

[younique]

I've been in a lot of relationships because I've never been comfortable enough with myself to commit. Men are not as superficial as society will have us believe. Some guys have been downright cruel to me, it's true. But the ones who I had serious relationships with, I still consider them to be good friends. I'm currently single and very happy. I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept myself enough to move in with someone and share a life. But I'm still open to it.

Give it time, do not rush things. Do not think that the person you find is the only person there is for you, unless they treat you right. You do not have to settle just because you have a visible difference. Stay strong, confident and kind and you will attract the right attention. Be well!

[Crystal246]

Thanks x

[littlemy7]

Hi Crystal246,

I'm 22 and have been dating again for the first time since my face changed quite a lot a couple of years ago. I bit the bullet and went on bumble! I'm still seeing the same guy a couple of months later. I feel very comfortable with him, and funnily enough he has his own skin concerns too. It's really, really scary to start with. But I began talking about my face from the fourth date or so, which made it less bad. He was supportive but didn't make a big deal out of it at all. Many many guys will still like you even though, and maybe actually because, you look different. And learning that you are accepted in a dating situation is the most beautiful thing for self esteem. I guess most of the issue is in our fears, but talking a little about them to whoever you're dating (no need to be really detailed) helps so much! Really hope you give it a go! Bumble is great as a girl cos you'll have the 'upper hand' in choosing to message!

[GoodDude]

Honestly, you have nothing to worry about.

[Seb345]

Hello I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with your self-imagine. You will be able to find love. Modern medicine is capable of great thing and the cosmetic portion is also very well developed. I didn't have any major surgery but I've seen people who struggled with esthetic consequences of a surgery not just on the face. I was scared at first and it was strange for me to look for love. I was always more attracted to people that are older than me and since I am bisexual it was always hard to hide the urge that I am interested in older men. I read a lot of stuff online on how to hide it but in the end gave in. I had a situation when a man who is a lot older then me just told me that he wants to take care of me I was scared and felt like it was wrong. I read a lot of info online and the best thing I found was this article ( idateadvice.com/review-of-s... ). It helped me come to grips with my decision, and maybe you should find a person like that. Older people usually look past the physical. I am sure you will find the perfect person for you. You are beautiful.