Hello there and Happy Friday everyone! It's Dola@changingfaces inviting you to share your thoughts on terms used to label visible difference.
Medics use words like deformed, abnormality, defects; Lawmakers say disfigurement. How do you feel about such words being used to describe your visible difference?
On my blog I use facial difference. I used to say the word disfigurement because I was angry at the world and myself for now looking 'unusual', but once I had time to love myself more, I now use difference in real life situations because even though I do look different.. Im not disfigured... It's just a very harsh and ugly word that most people would use as a insult.
I very often use the word difference. It just kind of came about the more I researched my condition. I used to be similar to Crystal, feeling angry over the difference, I would punish myself by using the word deformed. When I was growing up with the difference, words like deformed, misshapen, abnormal, disfigured, etc were triggering.. I would feel so out of control and painfully worthless when I heard those words, even if the topic of the conversation weren't even about my appearance.
I don’t agree with using any of those terms, they give the impression that having a visible difference is not “normal”. I think it’s important to remember everyone is unique and any visible difference is just part of our individuality. Very proud of mine!
Hello Amylouisefry and welcome to the Changing Faces Community! Thank you for posting. It's wonderful to hear that you're proud of your visible difference. Indeed everyone is unique and have their own individual feelings about their difference. What terms would you consider helpful to describe visible difference?
To be honest I just call mine what it is - a vascular malformation. Everyone’s visible difference is unique so I’m not sure there is an umbrella term that necessarily suits everyone.
Hi, I'm new and I hope it's all right that I respond to an old thread.
I prefer the term disability - because I do have physical disabilities as well as my facial difference. As a kid, I was taught to use the term 'differences' but now I find it too euphemistic. I also appreciate the social model of disability and disability as an identity, as a minority experience. I guess for that reason, I like the term facial anomaly more than disfigurement, defect, or deformity, because - well, perhaps it's just another way to say 'difference,' but one that seems less loaded, less euphemistic for me. If I understand correctly, for anti-discrimination purposes, people with (only) facial differences can, if they want, identify as disabled.
While I am neurotypical myself, I really like the language of 'typical' and 'diverse'/'divergent' that the autism and mental health community espouses. I like the idea that I'm unusual, and that my experience and difficulties going through life looking unusual matters, and I feel like this language of atypicality puts the burden on society to accept us - to accept diversity of all kinds - rather than on us to conform.
Hi principessar16, welcome to the Changing Faces community and thanks for your response! This is a really interesting perspective on language and how it can either serve to alienate people with visible differences, or, as you say, shift the burden of acceptance and inclusion onto society. 'Facial anomaly' speaks to your having a difference - something unusual, out of the ordinary - but isn't pejorative. Maybe we could go one step further and start using 'facial extraordinariness'! 😉
Perhaps the main thing to take away is that as someone with a visible difference you have total power to choose the language with which you want to think and talk about your experience, and your preferences for how you identify can evolve over time.
It's really interesting to think about the language we use to talk about our experiences and difficulties, and how it can shape how we see ourselves and are seen by other people.
It's great to have you here, I hope you find this space useful.
Thanks for your reply and your thoughts!
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