I have been caring for my Significant Other... - Care Community

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I have been caring for my Significant Other for the last three years. Last week, he passed away. I am in Terrible Grief, and all alone.

Weatherwoman profile image
14 Replies

Need support grieving for my Dear Precious Man who passed away. I am All alone in the house, and wonder how others have coped with losing someone they loved so dearly.

14 Replies
lell1 profile image
lell1

hi there! I know it’s not the same but I looked after my dad for 6 years and was then left on my own. You will cope! If you’d like to message rather than be public please feel free to send!

FredaE profile image
FredaE in reply to lell1

you are all alone in your grief but we all survived somehow and so will you. it helps to go out for a walk or to a friendly cafe. i used to go out every day for a cup of tea and to read the paper. just simple ordinary little things that help things seem normal when nothing is.

i only know how things work in the uk but it helped me to have a counsellor from the Hospice every week - fornight for a year so that I could talk to her endlessly and repetatively week afterweek without need to drive my friends away

the MSA coalition is the equivalent group in the USA

Allow youself to grieve for as long as you need -there is no should, one day you will think of a memory of him with a smile a nd you will know you have seen the light at the end of the tunnel

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply to FredaE

Thank you for your reply & how you coped. What does MSA Coalition stand for. Let me know, & I could look up their phone no. Thanks.

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply to lell1

Thank you for your reply to me. Whether it be a Sig. Other, Mother, Father, Sibling, etc. especially if we were close & caring for our loved one, then grief is grief! It's SO hard & I am glad you coped. I don't know how to message, and that would be fine --need to walk me through that. Thx.

lell1 profile image
lell1 in reply to Weatherwoman

if you go to the top of the page you will see icons, one of these is an arrow and chat? You can have private conversations there

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply to lell1

Thank you.

AndrewT profile image
AndrewT

Dear Weatherwoman,

Yes a Terrible Loss and I, Truly Send, My Deepest Sympathy. I fully agree, with the suggestions, that Others have made but make One 'Other' Point..... Namely that you Are NOT Alone..... WE ARE 'HERE' FOR YOU! Please DO contact, any of us, if you need to Sweetheart.

Please know that Our Love, and Prayers are with you Weatherwoman.

AndrewT

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply to AndrewT

Thanks for your sweet & caring message. It is good to know that this site IS here for me, and I know I can contact any of you.

Kenny516 profile image
Kenny516

My deepest sympathies.... my own experience having been through some tough things.. is that we need time to grieve... but eventually we adjust and sometimes reinvent ourselves a bit given such a big event.

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply to Kenny516

It's just SO hard now. Everyone says it takes time --I hope they are right. Thanks for your hopeful msg.

FredaE profile image
FredaE in reply to Weatherwoman

yes they are right. you may go though all sorts before you heal. you maybe angry, you may be knocked of course by stupid things you are not expecting. you may see HIM in the street as you catch a glimpse of someone who looks a bit like him or who stands or walks the same way but eventually you accept that you have lost him and instead ofhis loving presence ,memories will come back of the good times and laughter and you will be able to reconstruct your life as a better person because of the time you spent together and what you were able to do for him.

eight years on I am living with in an amazing new relationship with a man with similar experiences... he too is what he is after years in a good marriage and we both respect our former partners and talk about them. from time to time. they are no longer here but they are not forgotten

you arre nowhere near ready for this but i just want to show you that however dark the time it can get better

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply to FredaE

I hope so that there is light at the end of the tunnel --It's All so Raw now. I am so glad that you & the Man you are now in a relationship with found each other. I just started working with a Grief Counselor, and that helps some. Thank you for your reply.

Robbo1 profile image
Robbo1

My sympathies to you on the loss of your husband. I nursed my husband for several years. It was very difficult at first, living alone. You may find it difficult now, but you will get used to it eventually. Losing a loved one can make one feel nervous and also lead to a lack of sleep.

Organise your house, so that when bedtime comes you feel as comfortable and safe as you can .

Often, it's difficult to go out and about after a bereavement. When you feel able to, go to the shops, accept invitations from people you are comfortable with, invite someone in for coffee. These things will give a purpose to your day.

Grief is hard, but it is the price that we pay for love and we can dwell on the happy memories as well as being sad for our loss.

My very best wishes to you. X

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply to Robbo1

Thank you for your understanding message. Yes, right now, I feel all lost & alone. I have no children & family live far away. I have friends who live not that close to me, but don't like driving across bridges, etc. Yes, when I go out now (and, I'm not going out much now I feel So different than I used to. I hope, in time, that things will be better. Thx., again, for your post.

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