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JSStories profile image
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Hello. I've taken care of my father with disabilities since high school. He just started dialysis at home this week and is really struggling emotionally. I'm encouraging him to get on one of these groups, talk to others and thought I'd lead by example. Him struggling is hard to see and hard to live with on top of everything going on in the world right now. I figured I could use some support too.

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JSStories
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6 Replies
Oshgosh profile image
Oshgosh

I think you are right.you could both use support.

There may be another area of tHU,which may support your needs more specifically.

JSStories profile image
JSStories in reply toOshgosh

Yeah i need to dig more in here because it didnt come up when i searched at first. But i thought this was a start.

bantam12 profile image
bantam12

My late husband was going to start home dialysis but we decided against it because the responsibility on him but mainly me if things went wrong with no medical or technical support on hand was to great, instead he went 3 times a week to a local dialysis unit and this worked far better.

His renal unit should have details of the local support group but you also need to talk to his dialysis nurse at the hospital if things are not going to well.

JSStories profile image
JSStories in reply tobantam12

The at home gives him a lot more independence which i know he needs and I saw that the nurses should have that list. I'm gonna bug him a bit about it.

Hi JSStories,

It is daunting, isn't it, having so much responsibility for another person, especially when it's a close loved one and you wish only the very best for them. It's not only daunting, it's tiring, and most of all for your father, with this whole new way of life to have to cope with.

I think that gently, gently is the best approach. Let him experience his feelings as they come and go for a while. Encourage him of course, but with any devastating news comes a feeling of helplessness and not wanting to see the bright side of things.

If after a little while he doesn't settle into his new way of having to live life, I'd think about some more professional advice on how to improve his mental health.

But you are quite right that groups of people with the same condition can be very useful. Not always for everyone, but he may come to see that there is comfort in finding others who feel the same way and be encouraged by those who have overcome difficulties and found a peaceable way to live with their condition.

For yourself, please do come and get similar support for yourself here. We have members with a really wide experience of caring, and sometimes everyone needs to offload among friends and/or others who understand what you are going through. Sending best wishes to both of you.

JSStories profile image
JSStories in reply to

Thank you so much. You writing this came at the right time because today i was debating making him talk to me but its only been a week and you're right in that he should be allowed to feel what he needs to. Thank you so much.

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