Well dad’s home 🏠

It’s been Mixed week so far dad is totally bed bound DOCTORS said he’s lucky to have survived last episode infection & heart failuler.

Even tho am happy dad’s home IT don’t look like reasons of longevity.

When ever tries siting up or having feet out of bed

He’s legs turn blue and blood pressure bottoms out given heart failure.

Quite sad to see whiteness as dad tried tries to carry on but sadly conks out.

I don’t really know what he thinks about what’s going on BUT dose fill you with sadness really.

As thrilling as it is doctors come round to talk about CPR DNR and was decided if dad dose need resuscitating IT would not be in he’s best intrest to do so given heart bp issues.

Can’t help feeling it’s like signing he’s death warrant BUT have to remember it’s he’s advancing condition doing this AND it’s most humane thing given issues.

[sassy59]

Thinking of you JAS and your dear dad. You are doing what is in dad’s best interest difficult though that is to think about.

I expect that, in spite of everything, your dad knows where he is so seek comfort from that.

Take care of you too if you can. Xxxx

[Hidden in reply to sassy59]

Hi sassy cheers guess it’s all any of us can do really

[FredaE]

It may help you to remember that resucitation is a brutal proceedure which can result in broken ribs and such..has to be as it is a bit like trying to bump start a car but with a short time limit before your Dad's brain is damaged by lack of oxygen. What you have done is the kindest and most loving thing you can do for him. The death warrant is signed by the heart failure. All you have done is made sure that he can slip away without having people jumping on him to try give him a few more hours. Well done. Our thoughts are with you

Freda E

[Hidden in reply to FredaE]

Hi cheers I know it’s for best really but I do wants him around AND have tried my best and sure my dad as too BUT am afraid is condition is wining

[FredaE in reply to Hidden]

Yes it is so awful. We know how you feel and are supporting you and thining about you

[Jennymary]

In 2010 my mum was given days to live and my brother, sister and myself were asked about having a DNR placed for her, we all agreed it was the right thing to do for her, let her go quietly time, .2019 she's still here and the DNR is still in place, it is heartbreaking, I have tears running down my face writing this, but it's the best thing for mum, my heart goes out to you and your dad xxxxc

[Hidden in reply to Jennymary]

Am just glad doctors don’t use words like palatine care when referring to my dad and he’s treatment.

The no my feelings on such terms really but this is first time CPR DNR as been officially done.

I can see my self with dad’s condition HE is deteriorating AS well as blue legs NOW he as arfull rash legs covered in blood blisters

Things don’t seem to get any easier for him

[Hidden]

Hi JeffAjaxSmith,

You must feel relieved to have dad back with you. Even though it can be really hard work caring for a loved one, it's an extra stress to have them in hospital, especially when you haven't been 100% satisfied with the way he's been treated.

And no Jeff, don't feel guilty about signing a Do Not Resuscitate order.

We all hate to die and we hate to think of the death of our loved ones, but every life has a course, and trying to revive it when that course is really run, is not being kind. It's a totally different thing from intervening to help someone die.

It doesn't mean it's easy to sign that order. If we were able, wouldn't we all just keep our loved ones safe with us?

I'm 100% sure that dad will know and love you for the efforts you make to look after him, and that includes the bravest act of all, which is to know when to let him go.

But bless you, I know it's just the hardest thing in the world to come to terms with.

But don't dwell on that. Just enjoy every moment you have left with this very important person in your life.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Callendersgal do wish could keep him for ever Really WE have been through so much suffering then when things improved the snatched from us.

Hardly fair but who said illness was .

I just hope he dose not suffer to much AS each day passes.

The good thing is he as not give up AND as never said or indectated he as.

Guess that’s why fight tooth nail for him.

But your right it’s not easy and this no stoping what is going to be.

[SquirrelsHolt]

I think without a second thought that you have always made sure Dad was made as comfortable as possible and your decision for DNR probably took a while to fully sink in. It surely is the best plan JAS. Our members sassy59 , FredaE , Jennymary , and Hidden have also thought you have made the right but difficult decision. You certainly are not alone here and Dad is back at home,so take care JAS. 💞

[Lynd]

My lovely Mum has just been in hospital and she asked for DNR. It saddens me greatly but I understand her reasons. She is 86 but no sign of dementia.

Her health is failing a lot recently but she is a tough cookie.

[ScouseTaffy]

Hi JeffAjax...being away from the hustle and bustle of hospital life must be more calm and restful for both you and dad. The time you spend together now will be precious. It's so hard watching someone struggle with day to day things, being unable to improve their situation. Being there is literally a labour of love.

I find music and humour helpful but its horses for courses.

Take time for yourself x

[robert1957]

Hello JAS IF YOU CAN LOOKUP ANTHONY WILLIAM (medical medium) I hope you will find information that will help explain what’s happing to you and how to heal good luck