Coping with confusion.: My husband is 80 this... - Care Community

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Coping with confusion.


My husband is 80 this year and by then we will have been married 55 years.

At times he thinks that I am somebody else and asks me where his wife. This is happening more and more often. He gets very angry when I can’t give him the answers he wants. He often swears at me which is totally out of character.

Does anyone have any strategies for dealing with this that i could try.

I get very upset sometimes but he is totally unaffected by that.

Is it worth asking the doctor for a mild sedative? I can’t risk him getting sleepy though as he is disabled due to a stroke 18months ago. Any advice would be welcom

7 Replies

Hi Tricia you really need to speak with your doctor and get him to visit your husband at home. Explain to him what has been happening and see what he suggests.

Good luck to you and take care. Xxxx

TriciaBee in reply to sassy59

Thank you Sassy. I know I must talk to our Doctor although getting a home visit is as likely as hell freezing over! I do have an appointment next week. The problem is that my husband will probably come over as normal. He seems to know what to say when other people are around. It’s frustrating.

sassy59Ambassador in reply to TriciaBee

I understand completely Tricia as Petes mum was exactly the same. Doctors need to understand how things are but they don’t.

I wish you well. Xxxx

Hello TriciaBee and welcome. It is a very difficult time for you both and of course you will find it distressing to experience these changes. It is important to look after yourself too so I wonder if you have any help or time to yourself?

As sassy59 has suggested I also think a GP visit will be necessary in the first place to find out exactly what is happening to your husband. It would be important to share with the doctor what you have said here and that will help him fully understand what is going on.

It is good that you have joined this supportive community. Our members will share their wisdom and experience with you. Please keep in touch and let us know how things are going.

Thank you and yes, I am grateful for the support of this community.

Hello may I suggest making a face to or telephone appointment with your GP and explaining what is happening and why you need to have a home visit. Your husband will probably and remarkably mask his confusion but often Drs realise this.

There should be carers group nearby too.

It may be helpful to find out the local carers group for support too?

Best wishes Jayne

Thank you Jayne. I am glad to have advice and support.

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