how to care for myself

[2bhopeful]

I am in my late 60's and wondering about the future. I am single and don't have any close family, are there places where I can sign up to, to help with care and future housing?

[Hidden]

Hi hopeful, I think many of us have these worries, even with families close by, these days they are always too busy to help often.

I would suggest that as soon as you find your health deteriorating, you find sheltered accommodation where there will be a warden for emergencies and where you will have others around you for company. Many people leave it too late to start looking for somewhere they'd like to live and then it has to be done in a hurry when they become unwell. Do it whilst you are able, it will be so much easier.

[Mindover in reply to Hidden]

Sounds like good advice Good Luck! 😉 Be wise if you can

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi 2bhopeful and welcome to the forum. exhaustedwife has posted a helpful reply. Also, you may find some of the pinned posts on the screen useful. Please stay on this caring forum where you will receive support from other members and remember you are not alone.Do any other forum members have any helpful ideas for 2bhopeful, please? Thank you and best wishes

[2bhopeful in reply to MAS_Nurse]

thank you exhaustedwife, I am in sheltered accommodation already, which is brilliant, but I am thinking about the time when I cannot care for myself, is there a way to sign up for a care home at this early stage?

[Hidden]

Hi 2bhopeful, I understand how vulnerable you feel as a woman who is also in her late sixties. Luckily for me I currently have a very loving husband as a companion, but no-one else, and I am a realist, knowing that my partner may die ahead of me and leave me in the same position as you.

Sad to say that, although medically we are pretty well catered for, in every other respect it's very much a case of getting your own ducks in a row and then just hoping you won't end up in the dreadful situation that so many elderly people do, of having no friends or family and dying as much from loneliness as anything else.

It is a very real possibility, but try to protect yourself as much as you can, before you get too isolated.

If your current accommodation is not suitable for you, go to your local council now and ask advice. Obviously if you own your home, you'll have to consider selling and downsizing and better to do it now whilst you still have all of your faculties. If you are a renter, (even privately), you may be lucky enough to be in an area where your age will make you a priority for suitable public sector accommodation. But at the very least, stay where you are and be quite sure that all bills are paid, so that you have the maximum security of housing. And don't make plans to leave it without having something solid in place, making yourself officially homeless and ineligible for help because you did it voluntarily!

My husband and I downsized into a small one bed apartment and we hate it in some respects, but love it in others because it is very warm and inexpensive to run and close to shops and all facilities. It's a question of having a practical mindset rather than one which tells you that you can't let go of a much loved bigger home.

It's no guarantee that you won't still be lonely at the end, but go and find yourself some clubs and/or activities that will put you in touch with people. This would include anything that's laid on for the older person in your area, such as lunch or social clubs. And for the best chance of long term caring, consider attending a church in your area. Even if you are a doubter, most faiths consist of caring people who would help support you in future. And their kindness might even make you find a faith or strengthen it. Sometimes, believing in something steadfast can be a great comfort.

If you are lucky enough to reach the age of 75 you should be given a named GP at your practice to help you, but until then, preserve your health with regular check-ups and preventative treatments offered to keep you as healthy as possible, because generally a healthy person will have more mobility than an unhealthy one.

And if you are really struggling, whether with health or practical issues or mental health and loneliness, a GP is a good springboard to accessing other help, like day centres and social workers.

Sorry I have rabbited on so much but you are so right to consider this now and to plan ahead as best you can, before, like so many people, you suddenly find yourself infirm and/or isolated with no idea of how to extricate yourself and make your life more comfortable. Very best wishes.

[rogerc1957]

Hi 2bhelpful. In relation to fears about becoming lonely, don't let things just happen to you. If you still have your health, make every effort to engage with activities and groups in your area, even as a volunteer. It is a great way to build new relationships but more importantly, it provides a real purpose. There are always opportunities through the likes of Age UK, Royal Voluntary Service etc. These charities provide most of their services through thousands of volunteers, the majority of whom are elderly themselves. My mother, now 95 years of age, was the person who always organised the annual Macmillan World's Biggest Coffee Morning at her sheltered housing, organising raffle prizes from local businesses, getting the Mayor to attend and selling raffle tickets. She continued to do this until literally a few years ago.

[2bhopeful]

thank you so much for your helpful advice. I have decided to speak with the housing association that I am will and see if there is alternative accommodation with them, if I get to the point of not being able to cope. I feel foolish to be worried at this time when all is fine and dandy, but I don't know what the future holds and I'd rather be prepared than just leave it to "happen" at that time.