Lonely nanny

[Jnnie]

I am a carer for my partner. I've been his carer for 10 years. I worked for BHS for 15years until I was made redundant last year. I am finding myself very isolated at the moment .

[sassy59]

What a lovely photo Jnnie, very sweet.

Being a carer can be isolating but joining this forum is a step towards making friends. There are carer groups in most areas but l like to be with my husband and family. How many grandchildren do you have? I have 2 with No. 3 due in December.

Take care xxxxx

[MAS_Nurse]

Welcome to HealthUnlocked Jnnie. . You must miss your work and colleagues but you will never be alone while you are part of this community. There are organisations that can give you some 'me' time while someone keeps your husband company and you will know he is safe. Also carer groups that you can join. If you are able to say a rough location on where you live I expect there is someone close to your area who will be able to give you more information.

Take care.

[Lucy73]

Hi June, my name is Lucy I joined a couple of days ago, feeling the same as you , you are much younger than me so it must be very difficult, I have never joined anything like this before but it is nice having folks to talk to we don't always want to burden our familys, don't you think after a while you just become a carer, but we still have needs, I am a young 73 the kids call me trendy nanny, I think the grand-children have kept me young, If you want to just chat,get in touch, if you want a moan you do it we are entitled/

[katieoxo60]

Hi jnnie, lovely photo. Sorry you are feeling isolated it's understandable in your circumstances especially after redundancy too, bet you miss all your work colleagues and the break from caring. I have five grandchildren and think it was eight great grandchildren at the last count. However I lost my husband 12 years ago, so live alone now which can feel isolating too on occassions, online we can go anywhere we like and talk on forums so it is good in some ways. Have a good day xx

[Hidden]

Hi there. Such a lovely pic and an adorable baby! Isolation seems to be one of the biggest curses of the carer. You become so embroiled in the situation that there's no time or energy to think of, or engage in life outside of it. And others often don't understand the real strains of caring for someone at that level. And you've lost your job, which is a huge part of being an independent person with a life and interest outside of the home.

If there's no opportunity to work at anything else now, you probably need to find a substitute for that camaraderie and friendship that you had at work. Somehow you need to find people in a similar situation to yours, to get together, individually or as a group to share your common interest and to help each others' morale. Check with anyone who might now of groups in your area. Your GP surgery may know, Citizen's Advice Bureau, your local churches, your library. Check around and see if there is anything, and, if not, maybe consider trying to get a small group going. With everyone in your situation having to work in isolation, sometimes it takes a community minded person to bring them together.

And please don't be afraid to ask for respite among your friends and family so that you can get 'me time', to go out and see what's happening in the world, and whenever you get free time, find other people to share some time with.

Caring's a really draining thing, but it's such an important position. You are the lynch pin who is enabling your loved one to go on living their life as comfortably as possible. Always remind yourself of what a great and necessary job you are doing even at those moments when you are feeling really alone.