Greetings from West Wales: I have joined this... - Care Community

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Greetings from West Wales

BrentW profile image

I have joined this group not because I am a carer, but because I am being cared for -- by my wife -- as I continue on my journey with metastatic prostate cancer. I would like to know more about the issues my wife faces, and what I can do to alleviate them.

7 Replies

Hello Brent, I remember you from PWB. are you still painting, unfortunately I'm not able to advise on your caring question as I've never been in that situation, but I'm sure someone here will come along with some advice for you and your wife x

BrentW profile image
BrentW in reply to Jennymary

Hi Jennymary. I am indeed still painting. It gives me hours of pleasure. How do you fill your free time?

Jennymary profile image
Jennymary in reply to BrentW

Hi Brent, apologies for the delay in replying to you, you asked what do I do in my spare time, I'm at work Saturday, Sunday & Wednesday I've got reading groups Tuesday afternoon and Thursday morning, I quite often pop to the country market on a Friday morning, in between there's a bit of housework and shopping to do, when I get time I like reading and playing games on my tablet, also, at the moment I'm enjoying watching the football

sassy59 profile image

Hi Brent, good to meet you. I’m carer for my husband Pete who has COPD, sarcoidosis, heart disease and chronic back pain. Each day is different and we take one day at a time.

I dare say your needs will change over time and your wife may well be doing more for you on a daily basis. I don’t know much about Prostate cancer but I do hope both you and your wife get all the help you can. You may need it.

Take care both xxxx

Callendersgal profile image

Hi BrentW and welcome. I know you of course from the PWB group and of your lovely art and of your previous life, some of which, like mine, was spent in the Caribbean.It isn't all that often that we have someone who is cared for, who is looking for tips to help their carer, but what a wonderful idea that is. Happily, in your own case there are no cognitive problems, so I'd say that simply keeping the love between you and making sure your wife gets a break, whenever that's possible. It doesn't always need to be a long break, but just some encouragement for her to go out for a while with a friend or a couple of hours indoors to do her own thing.

If there's anything else, I'd say it's to stop and think about what are reasonable demands on her and what aren't. If you genuinely need the help, then of course you need it, but if there are any things you can let go of, then maybe do that too.

But it seems to me that, having already given the topic some thought, you are very much on the right lines.

Hope you'll find something of use here, and, in case you aren't aware, we have an off-topic posting day on Fridays, if you'd like to show us some of your art work! Take care!

BrentW profile image
BrentW in reply to Callendersgal

How lovely to hear from you, Callendersgal. And many thanks for your advice. I try to encourage Jacqui to indulge in her hobbies, but not so much as to seem to bully. She is very much into fibre arts, especially rug hooking. But she enjoys all aspects of the process. We have, for example, six tubs with sheep's fleeces soaking under the eaves of our house, and two already washed and dried in the garage. There are mutterings of these being dyed, though I am not sure either what colours or intensities. Jacqui loves describing the processes in detail to me. I gather the new fleeces will need combing (combs yet to be bought), then carded on her drum carder, then spun into yarn, prior to dying. I listen attentively, though much of the time what I hear is "oggle oggle oggle".

I am so pleased about the Friday off-topic sessions. I shall surely be posting paintings there from time to time. Thank you for telling me about that.

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to BrentW

Jaqui's hobby rug hooking sounds fascinating, particularly as she is tackling it from scratch! I'm sure you'll hear all about the dying process in due course! I wonder if she's planning her own organic dyes too? Yours is a very creative household indeed!We'll look forward to seeing some of your lovely paintings on Fridays!

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