Feeling Guilty

[Lovethesun]

My Husband was diagnosed with Picks Disease 9 months ago. I am still working full time and feel so guilty about it. I blame me for him talking to himself due to him being on his own. I cant afford to stop working due to husband not working for years due to lots of other health issues. Crohns Disease. Failed spinal fusions causing mobility problems. Depression. Hopefully I can cut hours back next year.

[Hidden]

Are there any facilities in your area for him? A dementia club maybe - most towns have them and maybe he could go for a few hours a week to give you both a break. Does the local church run coffee mornings where he could get someone to talk to? Ask your local adult social services or mental health team to find out what's available.

[Lovethesun in reply to Hidden]

At this moment he will not go anywhere. He suffers with bad diarrhoea due to having most of his bowel removed due to Crohns. He just locks himself away from other people. He lost his license due to all his medication and hates having to keep asking . He feels he has lost all independence. . I wishec he would go to the local group but refused when it started up and there are no places left at present. Thankyou for your reply . Its just good to talk to someone who understands.

[MAS_Nurse in reply to Lovethesun]

Hi is it possible for him or you both to visit his doctor to ask about medication for the diarrhoea or maybe the pharmacist, perhaps a medication review is due? There are special keys for the disabled toilets that can be purchased from mobility aid shops for a reasonable sum. Small steps to begin with like getting him out in the garden for short while and still be close to the bathroom.

[Lovethesun in reply to MAS_Nurse]

He has loperamide and takes loads a day. Just something that we cannot control. Real nightmare. We are visiting the doctors regulary every month . He has been on very high doses of penicillin which has not helped due to bad dose of cellulitis in his one leg. Its very difficult at the moment.but thank you.

[jaykay777]

You are to be commended for continuing to work. If you are employed, your employer deserves credit for any accommodations they may be making for you now and in the future. I hope your feeling of guilt will lessen when you realize how important it is for you to continue working for your present and future life. Now retired on Social Security and other pensions, I'm glad I kept my employment after my father's sudden death. Looking back on that time, I'm pleased that I did what I could for my husband, teenage son and my mother during that difficult time.

[Lovethesun in reply to jaykay777]

Thank you so much for your kind words. It is really much appreciated. The company I work for are brilliant too. Not many companies around that I feel I could say that about. When my husband was critically ill 3.5 years ago I was paid full pay right up to my return to work after 3 months off. They are amazing.

[leonora22]

I frankly would hang onto your job as long as you can as it give you much needed financial independence and company. Being a carer full time is very very hard. Is it worth contacting Age Uk to see if they have any befrienders who could pop in or even a telephone befriender if he feels ok to talk on the telephone? Your local Carers group may have other suggestions. Trying to balance your needs against taking care of your husband is very hard and I wish you all the very best.

[Lovethesun in reply to leonora22]

Thankyou . It is very difficult. I am also helping out with my in laws who both have cancer. Very hard work and tiring as you well know. Xx