Bear with, I am new to this.

[Cloves2007]

Hi Everyone. Could you kind people give me some advice please. My 84 year old father in law was discharged 3 weeks ago from hospital, he was admitted as in a diabetic coma. ( now of diabetic meds- diet controlled)No real issues before? his just old. He now has 4 x carers per day, to support him with daily routines, his mobility is very poor and his hard of hearing. The problem is my 80 year old Mother in law was diagnosed with dementia 12 months ago. She is in total denial, & is very good at hiding it to others.

We are all struggling & do not know what to do. She tells the carers not to wake him up, or hes just eaten, or he isn't hungry. As his hard of hearing, he misses whats being said. She doesn't cook & meals cooked or bought are left in the fridge until they go off. Wont have meals on wheels or similar she says "Do you not think I am capable of looking after my husband?" We try to be diplomatic. She is now opening his post & then just forgets to show anyone, so missed hospital appointments. Carers put my father in law to bed at 9sh? which can upset him & he will to get out of bed. ( wanting to go to the lounge) So falls, resulting in My husband going to the rescue. But more disturbingly found out earlier, My mother in law ties string round bedroom door so he cant get out. She is a very prickly character, very defense & would not except any help for herself. Please what can we do?? Thank you.

[jaykay777]

Listen to Mydexter. Your mother in law cannot be given any responsibility for her husband.

[Hidden]

I think you just have to accept that your mother-in-law is too sick to deal with her husband. Have you got Power of Attorney over both their affairs, if not do it urgently. One or other of them needs to leave the house before something terrible happens. Maybe he could go into respite care for a while whilst you sort something permanent out. She is obviously in denial about her dementia (which is normal, it's pretty scary to admit to something like that) but she is only going to get worse. Remove him from this danger before its too late or you would never forgive yourselves.

[Cloves2007]

Thank you guys for your advice. Realize we can no longer manage, will contact social services & keep you all posted.

[Cloves2007 in reply to Cloves2007]

Contacted social services today, they are coming out next week. I just think I needed the confidence to do it. So thank you all 😌

[Lynn-Osborne in reply to Cloves2007]

I'm pleased social services are visiting the home. I do suggest if you haven't already that you ensure they have noted all your concerns including all the ones on here.

[Hidden]

You are very welcome. Sharing a problem always makes it easier. Do let us know what happens after SS visit.