Having had one grandparent already diagnosed with Vascular Dementure now being resident in a brilliant specialist home for the last 4 years has proved hard to deal with, especially now that she has changed so much over that time, plus as the disease progresses, much more memory loss is very apparent every time we visit her. We are now going through the same with her estranged husband, my Granddad. He has just had his 90th Birthday, which was hard to deal with as he is in the early stages, but has started to show the same symptoms we had seem with grandma. He is very independent and very active for his age, as being a PT instructor in the Army for most of his working life hasn't slowed him up!. That itself causes problems as he now goes for his daily walks and has twice now forgot where he lives. Unfortunately he doesn't see that he isn't himself and flatly refuses help, to the point of using words we never thought he knew! Getting help from the right people is always hard, but we know it's the only way to go.... as we are facing the task now of getting him into a home the same as grandma, once the NHS recognise he needs help... It took 7 months to get Grandma into the home, we hope it won't take that with granddad, fingers crossed!
It's a very hard strain on our family too, as we are all rallying round making sure he is monitored and checked, by making sure he is eating and looked after, especially in this cold spell. We have already taken care of his bank account, making sure his bills are paid as we learnt from grandma by waiting until it's too late for her to understand we had a struggle, legally to do anything.
What's also strange is that they both went their separate ways some 8-10 years ago, but now both ask about each other, as if they are still together and getting on.... that is very hard to answer or to deal with. I do feel the health system we have currently doesn't really help the families in any way, or the actual person that needs help until something drastic happens and even then it's very hard to get someone to see and understand the difficulties faced every day.
Written by
paulj67
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12 Replies
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Will your grandad carry a mobile? There is one available from the people who run the care lines that has a GPS tracker built in and you can access it from your computer or phone in case he gets lost. You can also contact him on it if he needs help and there is an emergency button he can push if he has a problem.
Can you sew his name and a phone number into his clothes so he can be helped if he is found wandering?
Thanks for the reply. We have tried a mobile and a tracker devise, both of which he refuses. I like the idea of the labels sewn in though, will give that a go!
My husband has a head injury and the Headway charity issues cards which say 'I am a brain injury survivor, I have special needs' and then goes on to list his problems. It lives in his wallet. He probably doesn't remember it's there but in the case of an incident, hopefully someone will find it. Can you either get or make something like that and put it in your dad's wallet without him noticing?
Hi Philip, the tracker we had came from the Lifeline company that runs the emergency phone lines. We had one called a 'Bulldog Tracker' which linked to my computer and I could see where my husband was at all times. Due to his memory, he was unable to use an iphone which would have had a tracker in it.
Hi, I have Vascular Dementia and I now live alone diagnosed 2014 and I now live alone live in assisted living accommodation, my wife is still my carer and this stops the arguing because of too much confusing.
I have a beautiful daughter Aged 6 and we had to do something, I moved out and it is so relaxing peaceful and quiet which is something I need.
My father is in hospital after being beaten up in his care home, by a staff member, police and all services are also involved so now anther hunt for a new care home. Confused? Me too lo.
It's a great thing to have some sort of tracking system but unfortunately as we kno, as time goes by the phone would become useless because of the Dementia. I'm dreading that myself lol.
It can't be easy for you and every other carer, because it bashes thier life too and I myself realise this but can't do anything about it, I'm sorry to say.
I also have the rubber wrist bands in, 1 says DEMENSIA SUFFERER,
the other has, if lost look at other side of the band and it has telephone numbers of people who will help me, I'm good with that and it's cheap and cheerful lol.
I hope everything works out for you and your family, on behalf of us Dementia sufferers, THANK YOU FOR CARERING.
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