Hi guys I’m writing this in need of a bit of guidance and advice.
When my tinnitus first started due to loud music and machine use at work (gardening) it was absolutely horrendous. The volume was incredible, left ear buzzing, unable to think or read and when people spoke to me it was hard to even hear what they were saying. I tried everything, acupuncture, supplements, hypnotherapy, diet changes and nothing worked. This went on for months and months.
The main problem was sleep as I was getting about 2 hours a night, every time I laid down to relax I experienced terrible anxiety which made me sit bolt upright in bed. The tinnitus was so loud it was impossible to sleep. I continued to work but without using any machinery, I had to reduce my hours as I simply couldn’t work on such little sleep and was losing my mind.
In my desperation I purchased diazepam after my doctor prescribed me 5mg for 7 days and it ran out, I started taking 20mg to get 3 or 4 hours sleep instead of 1 or 2 hours.
Suicidal thoughts and urges became so strong my doctor told me to discontinue as I was a cannabis user as well and he told me the diazepam combined was causing these urges.
Now after stopping the diazepam and cannabis completely my GP has prescribed me Mirtazapine 30mg antidepressant every night and Zopiclone 7.5mg to help me sleep. After going 5 months running on 2 hours sleep a night I’m finally getting 6 or 7 hours but always broken sleep and have been experiencing terrible nightmares since starting the Zopiclone.
The tinnitus has drastically reduced since starting the sleeping pills (Zopiclone) and I use the Sound Oasis sound therapy device when I sleep, so I think it is training my brain as I sleep to ignore or dull the tinnitus.
I’ve experienced all manner of things with my hearing recently; both ears popping and crackling, hearing changing when I swallow like becoming clearer, slight pain in both ears, both ears feeling warm, also the ‘dog whistle’ tinnitus in both ears lasting not long but completely different from the low frequency buzz of my tinnitus in left ear on first onset.
I’m incredibly anxious all the time, I don’t want to be on antidepressants and sleeping pills for the rest of my life as I feel like I’m not myself; I don’t feel like ‘the old me’ even though my tinnitus has got better since getting sleep. I’ve accepted the condition and stopped beating myself up so much for listening to music so loud but I’ve changed so much it’s putting a massive strain on my relationship with my girlfriend.
Does anyone think it’s a good idea to start tapering the Zopiclone and antidepressants down so I can come off them completely? My GP said he will start prescribing lesser amounts so I will eventually come off them but when I have vivid, violent nightmares every night and during the day I’m feeling irritable, drowsy and not myself I really want to stop this medication. I’m also scared to go back to the days of literally no sleep and trying to hold down a job and keep my girlfriend too!
I just feel so lost as to what to do...
Ross
Hello Ross. Firstly, I'm so sorry you are anxious and depressed - and having the Big T just makes it all the worse.What I am going to do here is to rephrase what you have written, but from a different angle. You may not like what I am going to say and if I upset you then I apologise in advance.
So, I am writing as if I am you.
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I have a great job gardening - it's outdoors and I can smell the fresh air and hear the birds. Trouble is, the tinnitus is so loud that it clouds my perception of the birds and the voices of people who talk to me. But I've now got some noise-reduction headphones and that helps with the loud machinery.
The loudness of the T affects my sleep. As I get older, however, I have read that a lot of people need less sleep as they put on the years. Indeed, three hundred years ago we learn from diarists that people usually had two sleeps, sometimes called big sleep and little sleep, and they used the wake time in between to have a snack, read a book by candlelight, make love etc. The trouble is, I haven't tried that as I've been concentrating on the non-sleep instead of what I CAN do with the awake time.
I used to self-medicate with a substance whose strength cannot be really known (cannabis) but I've stopped that now. My doctor has prescribed something else that certainly helps, and I also use sound therapy, and that helps too.
I used to listen to music very loudly but realise it was damaging me so I stopped.
I have a relationship with my girlfriend and instead of valuing what I DO have with her, I haven't been very nice to her.
My doctor is experienced in getting people gradually off their medication and I am going to follow his advice. I don't like being on medication and would like to be the "old me" but that might not be possible so I am learning to like the "new me".
I realise that I probably have T for life, but it is a common condition and people manage to habituate their brains to it eventually, though I realise this takes time.
I am also going to look at all the wonderful things I do have - like a job! many people are losing their jobs through Covid. and I have a relationship that I value and I am really going to concentrate on this relationship to make it work. I might look into Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Mindfulness - I will google those to see what comes up.
Being tired because of poor sleep patterns is hard but I am healthy otherwise. I have friends and family who love me and appreciate me for what I am, not what I am not.
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So, Ross, again I apologise if what I have said is not correct or if you find it unhelpful. Remember that song "Always look on the bright side of life"?
Hi Rosie thanks for the interesting reply but I’m really looking for advice re the prescription medication the GP has given me (Zopiclone and Mirtazapine) as the side effects are having a negative impact on my life and I don’t feel like I should be continuing with them.
Saying I haven’t been nice to my girlfriend was a cruel, unhelpful and flat out untrue thing to say. I don’t know how you inferred that from my post.
As I stated my tinnitus has improved about 90% since getting regular sleep and is not really the issue I’m dealing with/asking for advice about.
Thanks for the reply anyway...
Hi Ross,
It sounds like you are making the right decision considering moving away from the medication. Well done! However, Antidepressants, et al, are often useful. Though I can't say they did me any good. In fact, I wasn't myself either - but maybe that was just me and my circumstances at the time before tinnitus. I had PTSD from childhood trauma. Though it's difficult to say what i would have done otherwise; either way experiencing flashbacks was always going to be a shitty time. This experience is maybe why I've found myself quite resiliant to tinnitus. IMHO in the long term, you have to have your own strategies. I made the conscious decision to come off AD and sleeping pills. Has your doctor discussed longer term treatments such as CBT? If not, maybe it's definately time go speak to them. Maybe request an extended appointment.
DO NOT stop taking antidepressant medication, other than as advised on the leaflet or by a medical professional.
Regarding Happyrosie's post, I think I see her point. The best thing for me in the early days was being told, "there's no cure for tinnitus; learn to live with it." I think the point that @happyrosie was trying to get across (albeit it blunt and not what you wanted to hear way) is that you have to appreciate what you've got.
All the best!
Hi Dave thank you for your positive reply. I’ve read a lot of your lengthy posts on this forum and found them informative and educational, always a good read!
I have discussed tapering down the medication with my GP as I understand just stopping cold turkey (especially Zopiclone) can be dangerous, seizures etc, so really wanted advice or guidance from others who have experienced similar situations with these medications (Mirtazapine and Zopiclone).
I’ve only been taking the meds for about 3 weeks and since my sleep has gone from 2 hours a night to 6 or 7 hours I think my brain has really been fixing itself regarding the tinnitus. It has improved so much day to day whilst I’ve been sleeping and using my sound therapy box I feel now is the time to stop the prescribed meds and get back to my life free from pills and the side effects that come with them; the nightmares, the headachey feeling on waking and the general feeling of detachment ever since starting them.
Is it too soon, I don’t know but I really don’t want a life defined by medication and my tinnitus has improved so much recently I think I can deal with what’s left ( the odd rumble like thunder no way as invasive as the loud buzzing I was experiencing when I first developed the T).
And yes I understand Rosies reply and how my story was trying to be changed to be positive, but I reiterate; my words were changed beyond the actual truth to the point of being hurtful. Also focussed way too much on tinnitus which has reduced from living hell every day to barely registered, the improvement since getting regular sleep is amazing and something I’m very very thankful for!
Thanks again for sharing your experience with AD and sleep pills. My GP hasn’t been all that helpful to begin with (which is why I was forced to buy diazepam myself after literally months of sleeping 2 hours a night). The brain simply cannot repair itself on such little sleep and it’s a little trite to suggest “as we get older we need less sleep”. Sleep deprivation is used as torture and as someone who has a very physical job I need sleep to be able to perform 100%, not walk around like night of the living dead😂
Wishing you peace and healing
Ross
I’m sorry I misinterpreted two things you said and I did apologise in advance. Daverussell is always helpful and like me is advocating CBT. I do wish you well.
If I felt the need to apologise for what I was about to say,, I don’t think I’d say it knowing in advance it’s most likely wrong or hurtful, especially with sensitive medical issues.
No worries anyhow and I do appreciate the positive spin you tried to put on my life, it’s just not the advice I was asking for. Maybe I should have cut out the backstory and just asked about the meds 🙄
Ross
You should not have to apologise for trying to be helpful. You should have received a private message from Ross stating his concerns.
I get what you are saying. Really helpful food for thought for me. Thanks.