Hello

[Guppy26]

Hi there,

I've not posted on here for quite a while but I read everyone's posts and my heart goes out to so many of you. I hope you dont mind me offloading a little!

Last year I got my 80 year old mum admitted to hospital as the wheels had come off due to her alcohol consumption. Everything was in a right state. She hot covid in hospital and was put in an induced coma. She somehow pulled through that and recovered. She spent some time in respite care and went back home where she lives with my 88 year old dad. He has signs of dementia and can be very aggressive. Claims he doesnt need help and wont go to a Dr. Anyway, I thought my mums near death experience and her AA meetings would be enough to keep her off the booze but that hasnt happened. I found out she is drinking again and my dad is buying her the alcohol at times. I live 200 miles from them and there are no siblings to help. It's an absurd situation.

My mum came out of hospital with alcohol brain damage her speech is so confused, it's like watching her kill herself. I cant get my head round how she is even still alive.

The doctors dont do much because she wont help herself and they cant force my dad to see them.

I think it's time for me to stop drinking otherwise I'll go the same way. Anyone who has given up, what has got you through?

Thanks for reading x

[Ewife]

Hi there! I don't have experience from an addiction point of view but I decided to stop drinking with my husband when he had to stop due to Liver disease. How I see it is that we're married, partners for life and if he has to make lifestyle changes I'd rather do that together. It's an interesting life once you step away - you will find some friends don't like it - usually the ones who are embarrassed about their own drinking habits/behaviour.

We've had great fun exploring different drinks, moctails and mixes. We've also pursued new hobbies together and it's genuinely been a great experience for us.(Aside of dealing with his illness)

At the end of the day, if you're not drinking for kicks - it's literally just a fluid or liquid - and not a good one at that. If you are drinking for kicks - you need to stop anyway because that's just using the wrong type of crutch.

Your poor parents, it's so horrible for you to watch. I always think, if you view alcohol in the light of what I've said above - it proves how much alcoholism is an illness. Because who in their right mind would put their body and family through all that just for a liquid?

Take care of yourself, and atb 🤗

Ewife

[Guppy26 in reply to Ewife]

Thanks Ewife, your husband is very lucky to have such a great support in you. Your comments are really helpful and I'm going to keep coming back to them as a reminder of why it's so important to change now. You are so right, alcoholism is a disease and so destructive. Thanks so much for your time.

[Dogbot]

It really sounds like you are going through the mill with your parents it’s so hard to help someone who doesn’t want the help. I’m an alcoholic (I haven’t drunk for 20 years on the 28th of this month) and hand on heart it’s not easy, but worth it. If you are a drinker and you WANT to stop it is easier but still hard if your doing it for another reason you will find it hard . I think you have to take a close look at your parents and ask yourself do I want that for myself?????. I’m so sorry to hear about your parents and I wish you the best of luck in your decision for your future 🤞👍.

Ps any time you want to talk I will be available.

Stay safe All

Dogbot 🐶🌈Dave

[Guppy26 in reply to Dogbot]

Thanks Dogbot, yes it's definitely been a bit of a mare with my parents. Seeing how addicted my mum has become despite 3 stints in rehab and daily AA support I admire you and the way you have successfully powered through. I'll come back to your comments too to keep me in check. Thanks for your kind words.

[Chick_atee]

The situation with your parents sounds really difficult. Not much you can do!

I am a recovering Alcoholic and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. it’s a really cruel card to be dealt in life so we must fight the addiction and carve out a life for ourselves that can truly be enjoyed.

Your Mother wouldn’t never want addiction for you as I wouldn’t for my own son. You’ll be honouring yourself best by living a sober and happy life. Great things can happen without it and there are so many benefits.

If you think you have a problem with it then you probably have so best to nip it in the bud before addiction gets it’s claws into you.

Best of luck with everything and I hope the best possible outcome for your parents.

[Guppy26]

Thank you, I know you are absolutely right and everyone on this site gives inspiration to succeed. I know deep down it is what I need to do and am giving it my best shot.

I'm so sorry you have had to go through it too, well done though on pushing through. I hope you are in a contented place. Your son will be ever grateful I'm sure.