Feeling blue at the moment

[PipM82]

Feeling very sad and down right now. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks. I feel itchy all the time, upset stomach a lot and other things. Five years sober almost but still rebuilding my confidence and life with cirrhosis. Just letting off steam.

[Aztec632]

Firstly well done you! Almost 5 years sober thats fantastic.I am sorry to hear you feel so sad right now. Lack of decent sleep is just awful. I don't sleep well at all I am like a spinning top, very restless and it's been like that for a very long time. It certainly affects day to day energy levels and it can make you feel very low.

Add in your itching and other issues no wonder you are feeling the way you do. I assume you are getting help to sort those problems out.

It's good that we can all reach out to each other and although we can't cure each others problems we can at least be here to listen and support and tell you that you are not alone.

On days when I feel down I put on my NHS t shirt which reads 'better days will come' 🌈

Stay strong

[PipM82 in reply to Aztec632]

Thank you. I’m on other waiting lists for specific issues such as peripheral neuropathy which began around a year after I stopped drinking. I’m much happier generally sober but like many of us never anticipated or was told the challenges I’d have to face living with this condition. It’s why I’m a big fan of the British Liver Trust - such a great source of information and support. Thanks again for responding.

[Aztec632 in reply to PipM82]

Liver disease and life in general certainly comes with its challenges doesnt it. One of the things I found difficult was not being in control but I have had to learn to accept for my own sanity. I have AIH.

A few years prior to my diagnosis I had cancer and I had nerve damage due to the chemo. I now have raynauds. Still marching forward but not quite made it to warrior status yet 😜

[Cb1963 in reply to PipM82]

Well firstly a massive pat on your back for being sober, and obviously having health issues from the previous years of drinking feels like a punishment, I understand how you feel, I was a chronic alcoholic and ended up with the dreaded neuropathy, my symptoms came through after around 3 months after stopping the drinking. I'm sober for 11 years and still have these issues, obviously waiting to seek help or getting a treatment package is not helping, there's different medication, obviously smoking is something people should avoid and perhaps sugar, the nerve endings are damaged, many other people get similar complaints like this from diabetes or chemotherapy, i get mirtrazapine for helping me sleep and also take pregabalin for the nerve pain, try and keep moving, and I know that the pains are intense, and they cause depression, especially after beating the battle of the demon drink , I hope you get something sorted out soon, any further questions don't hesitate to ask, best of luck.

[Oscar21]

Aw bless you. It's not easy is it? Well done on five years without alcohol, I'm 11 years abstinent but just lately I am feeling depressed. So unlike me, as I'm usually so positive and upbeat.

Right from day one, the fatigue on some days is over whelming. Hubby is asking me if I want to go out for tea today, when all I want to do is lay down and rest. But life goes on for us all, and thank goodness we are still here.

Hope you start to have better days soon. Take care

[Bikafella]

Well done on the alcohol avoidance - must be hard. My itching (5 yrs post transplant) has been terrible over the last 24 months but I have had great relief for a few months now with prescribed 2% Menthol cream. Works quite quickly but does need reapplication. Also recently been given a stronger antihistamine Fexofenadine, which has helped. Worth a try on both. Pain management is a big thing but doesn't always mean being pain free and there are ways of dealing with these things from your medical team.

[NorthLad]

Good morning. Five years sober is absolutely ! Well done.When I read your post it mirrors my life so much.Like you I haven’t had a decent nights sleep in ages and when I wake up now I play a game called. “Guess what time it is!” My itching often starts around tea time. I wouldn’t say that you are sounding off at all and the thing is that the alternative life to what you have now is unthinkable really. I get really low days but stay positive and like yourself I’m a big fan of the British Liver Trust, I owe them and the fantastic new family I have met within it an awful lot.Keep on the journey you are on and what an inspirational one it is !! You can contact me directly anytime you want to, I’m always up for a chat. 💙

[PipM82 in reply to NorthLad]

I play the same game! Earlier I decided it was 4am. It was 2am!

[NorthLad in reply to PipM82]

That’s the most annoying thing. I often console myself with the fact I’m not waking up with a hangover.I remember towards the end of my drinking which is just over 3 and a half years now I wasn’t sleeping at all.The problem I have is that I find it hard to sit still! My Mum is up from Nottingham for a week this coming Monday and I can already hear her saying “For heaven’s sake will you sit down!” when my Mum speaks I have to listen! 🤣🤣

[PipM82 in reply to NorthLad]

I’ve done DIY as quietly as possible at 5am, gardening around the same time - not in the winter! The end of my drinking was a horrendous time health wise - mental as well as physical - and I’d rather feel like I do some mornings than hungover just like you. I’m still amazed sometimes I stopped and stayed stopped. I really wanted it though - I was really sick of alcohol and my existence not living.

[NorthLad]

To hear what you are saying is so important to me because it mirrors my thoughts and feelings entirely. It does show what can be done. I will never forget three pieces of advice I was given by a wonderful gentleman at my first BLT Zoom meeting in January 2021. He said, to stay positive,that I HAVE to want this and I have to do as I’m told by all the medical professionals. I’ve carried that with me from that day. I’ve had “drinking dreams” and woken up really annoyed until I realised it was a dream. Have you had drinking dreams?

[NorbertGrubbins in reply to NorthLad]

oh yes! Quite a few recently, by a happy (?!) coincidence - sometimes they feel great other times not so much. My heart goes out to everyone in this thread but it is also incredibly reassuring that other people struggle with the many elements of AIC that the hepatologist just isn’t interested in now the bloods are stable.

[PipM82 in reply to NorthLad]

I’ve had a few drinking dreams that I sort of see as “intrusive dreams” like drinking thoughts are “intrusive thoughts”.

[BigJimmy45]

hi mate, i am 47 had cirrhosis since 2016. I have zopiclone to get a good sleep. I have a TIPSs stent in which will ultimately lead to a transplant. Good on you for 5 years sober 👍I am on prozak for depression and rifaxamin for H, stay strong bro 💪

[BigJimmy45]

HE

[Hidden]

As Aztec says: better days will come.

Those symptoms are so hard to deal and sleep issues only leave a ‘greasy insomnia’ (thank you Faithless)

We all go thru up and down phases like this. Just know that the people on this forum are all pulling for you.

5 years is a very long time, well done and hang in there. x

[Hidden]

well done everyone whom have been able to be brave and strong and giving up alcohol, i was a sheltered housing manager and the number of lovely tenants we lost to alcoholism was very sad one guy drank to hide the pain he was an ex para 22 trainer i saw the slow yellowing of the eyes the the extended belly very sad a gentle man we tried to help but alas it was too late when i met him, we did our best but its horrible to watch, be strong you are strong it takes strength to open up the itching will decline in time and there is people around you

[FlippinOut]

Congratulations on your sobriety! I understand how you feel frustrated about your symptoms despite your success at quitting drinking. This disease is an emotional roller coaster.

Some people are lucky to have good days without symptoms when they can “forget” about cirrhosis for a short time. Others are burdened with constant symptoms and get no relief from the stress and anxiety.

I’m in the latter group. But every day I try to do something that makes me feel normal: go for a walk or a swim, go grocery shopping, have lunch with a friend. It helps. Some days I’m in denial, some days acceptance and every day hoping for the good days. It’s definitely a roller coaster.

[PipM82]

Thank you so much for all the responses. It means a lot to me.

[PollyO]

Pot gummies in small doses will help you sleep.

[PipM82 in reply to PollyO]

not for me. I don’t trust CBD products.

[PollyO in reply to PipM82]

I dont blame you. Hoever it is pot and naturally has CBD in it...but it is the small the dose that helps you sleep.

[Louisepeters]

I do so few for you 🤗 I had a liver transplant 2009. But get very depressed & also low. I wish you all the best xxx