Help for my alcoholic husband. Aged 64. (not working) I am 65.... working in hospitality.....

[velvet007]

Hello, I will get straight to the point of a very long 2 year horror story.

xxMy husband is diagnosed by his doctor as chronic alco, has liver trouble, cirrhosis,

basically he will not stop drinking. I went to the doctors again on Monday, he said he will not discuss my husbands problems with me (patient confidentiality), he needs to go to the doctor and ask for help (but my husband will not go).

Is my doctor right, we need help, he is drinking 24/7, the husband i had for 25 years, and lovely strong man, with his own company, does not exist anymore.

We lost all our money (still have our house) in lockdown, since then he has turned to the drink, what i am asking is where can we go to get help. He is making life so hard as he keeps falling over and cannot control his bladder.

Can someone advise me where to get help, sorry for repeating myself....... thankyou for reading. x

[Positive001]

I have sent a private message

[Aotea2012]

I’m sorry to read this. Sadly, unless he asks for help himself, anything you try to do will not work. He does, absolutely, need help. His doctor is correct. It’s a tough situation for you....make sure you are looking after yourself, it’s incredibly important. It may be worth ringing the helpline, they are very good and will be able to offer you advice. Otherwise, Al anon is a group that helps families affected by someone close to them drinking this way. Take care.

[velvet007 in reply to Aotea2012]

Thank you so much for your reply, x

[Wordesley]

I'm afraid your doctor is right, there is very little you can do if your husband is not prepared to admit that he needs help. I don't wish to sound hard but, whilst acknowledging your husband's problems and trying to find help for him, you really must look after yourself first, both personally and financially, otherwise you are going to burn out. There are web support groups for partners of alcoholics that have information, on-line chat and telephone support and they may be able to give you more information to help your husband. Good luck and please look after yourself

[velvet007 in reply to Wordesley]

Thank you so much, I just need a diagnosis as to actually what is wrong with him so I know how to react, care for, prepare, without a diagnosis I am just fumbling around the internet, has he got HE, or Werneck Syndrome, all that the doctor has said is chronic alcoholism...... I am strong, this has been going on for 3 years now, very sad as its all the family that are upset too xxx Thanks again xx

[Anon30]

Sorry to read this. Unfortunately the impact this has on family and friends is unbearable. That said- I’d recommend speaking to Al-Anon. It really helped me.

Sadly the doctors are right, as frustrating as it is, unless you have power of attorney or similar they can’t discuss it with you. Seems crazy considering the decision he is making would suggest he’s not fit to make reasonable decisions, but we had/have the same problem.

Feel free to message if you need to vent. This is the hardest thing to handle and you need to look after yourself xxx