Thread veins

[Desperate-daughter]

Hi

My dad has stage 4 cirrhosis (ARLD) and despite the diagnosis is continuing to drink. We have had come to accept he wants to carry on drinking so basically are now on 'emergency symptoms' watch in case he needs A&E. In the last week he has developed thread veins on his torso, back and face. Is this an indicator of more serious varices? Does he need emergency treatment?

[Hidden]

Hello D-D

I think the spider angiomas are just one more symptom of your stepdads chronic condition. It saddened me greatly when I read your first post. There is nothing harder to take than watching a loved one choose this path and refuse to stop. Alcohol not only damages our livers and our lives, it damages the lives of those closest to us.

Not just for his sake but also for you and all those around him, you really need to constantly keep in touch with the helpline and his doctor.

As he will not stop drinking, you will be helpless in this situation. There may be times you may feel you have not done enough and will feel guilty, but you must not, you have done nothing wrong, you are being supportive, looking for ways to help and being there and nobody can do more than that. If at any time you feel this is stressing you out too much, please talk to someone or come here and vent, we understand.

I'm truly sorry your stepdad has decided on this direction and I'm sorry you have to be there when times could have been spent with him in happier circumstances.

Dave

[Desperate-daughter in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Dave

I feel constantly guilty that I'm not doing enough or that I should be able to make him stop. We're all worried this is going to be his last Christmas.

He claims to feel fine so justify his drinking but I'm afraid the decline in stage 4 could be really rapid. I'm just sad and angry all the time

[Hidden]

Dear Desperate-daughter, I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. If you are based in the UK and would like to talk, our nurse led helpline is open from Monday to Friday 10am to 3pm on 0800 652 7330.Take care,

Trust10

[Dogbot]

Hi Desperate-Daughter you are in a very thankless place no matter how much you try , I have talked to people like your dad and until you find something he will give up for it’s a bit of a problem. I loved my wife and children when I was drinking but couldn’t give up, it was only when my liver packed up and I got rushed to hospital the specialist nurse came and spoke to me and said I can go and buy another bottle of vodka or live to see my grandchildren, I now have 4. So it’s not that he doesn’t love you and the family he needs something to help him . Good luck no one has the answer I wish you the best of luck 🤞. Don’t forget to look after yourself.Stay Safe All

Dogbot 🐶🌈

[Billie246]

Hi, my partner had spider veins quite early on in his diagnosis that didn’t seem to increase but he did suffer with itchy skin as well and the doctor will give a cream if that happens.I’m sorry to hear that he has continued to drink but there is absolutely nothing you can do. My partner also chose this path and unfortunately I felt I was unable to bear the thought of watching him die.

I have left him to his own devices and he now said that AA has been a real eye opener and he has been attending every day. He feels people with life experience are more useful to him then a lecture from doctors, consultants and us could provide.

Whether he is actually attending or is not drinking, I’m not sure what to believe…

Someone on this group helped me immensely with a comment that hit home to me. It might be worth reading my previous thread as the words ‘innocently enabling him’ him me hard and fast and I no longer feel the heavy weight of guilt I was carrying.

I wish you luck and I hope the situation does improve for you in some way.

Best wishes Mary xx