Just a few jokes to keep morale up, sorry admin, off topic.

[davianne]

Enjoy:- I am part Irish, so I hope it won't offend,

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're making love to your wife..

The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor.

Mick says, "Oi Paddy, what ya doing?"

Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."

Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different.

3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant.

2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant.

Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant."

Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?."

Paddy replies, - I'll take her with me!"

David

[Hidden]

Brilliant!! Thank you, David

[one2one]

Love 💕 it. xx

[Kate50]

😂😂😂

[alfredthegreat]

Nice ones

[Owlie]

I don’t get it...? 🤔

[davianne in reply to Owlie]

Which one Owlie? or are you just pulling my leg😁

David

[Owlie in reply to davianne]

Neither! Not good with jokes, I’m like Alice off the Vicar of Dibley at the end! 🙄

[davianne in reply to Owlie]

I must try harder next time 😁😁😁

[ThreeSmiles]

Love ‘em 👍😀

[Bootandall]

🤭😏👍😂😂

[ThreeSmiles]

I was at the bank a couple of weeks ago and an old lady asked me to check her balance. So, I pushed her over.

[Owlie in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Now that one I got!

[ThreeSmiles]

I tried to catch the fog yesterday - I mist.

[carllovatt]

L,,O,,L

[Dogbot]

Great just what the doctors ordered 😂🤣👍🌈

[POSITIVEMUM3]

Funny!

[Julie8]

Thank you Davianne

[Hidden]

Really good thank you.

[greece54]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[purple64]

Oh thanks for that it really made me laugh. I'm part Irish too 😂

[davianne in reply to purple64]

It's the way we tell 'em 🤣🤣🤣

David

[Hidden]

"It's a cracker" Let's be Frank, "It's the way I tell 'em" 😜

[davianne in reply to Hidden]

Welcome Back 😉😜😊❗

[Hidden in reply to davianne]

🤫

[Hidden]

Thanks David for your uplifting jokes, life shouldn’t be too serious when everything around us looks so serious!

Hope you all had a blessed Easter weekend.

My wife and I were so happy and full of joy despite all our trials and tribulations, because we celebrated the real reason for Easter {JESUS}

Our prayer is that those who don’t know the Love that our Saviour Jesus has for you will hear Him calling out to the lost in this dark world. All you need to do is confess your sin and ask Jesus into your life. He loves you with an unconditional love. Jesus is the Christ, and there is no other way to our Father in heaven except through Him. Put your trust in Him and let your life be guided by His love.

Back to business; our liver is a wonderful organ that puts up with a lot of abuse! It’s amazing how long we can survive with this damaged organ. I had hep. c for over 40 years, and I am still here after successful treatment the second time around. I thank all the wonderful medical team; but I could not have done it without my faith in Jesus.

Be blessed in Christ Jesus,

Malc

[davianne in reply to Hidden]

Hi Malc,

Glad you like the jokes.......a bit naughty of me, and totally off topic.

You are literally preaching to a believer, but good to hear anyway 😊😊😊, Our Church are now having services using a video-conferencing program for Sunday services, and a prayer group, which works well.

I have F4 cirrhosis, and constant capsule pain, and just recently sciatica, and as the pain relief is only partially successful, I call on the Lord for help, which often happens.

Stay safe 🙏🙏🙏

David,

[Hidden in reply to davianne]

Hi David, thank you that I’m preaching to a believer!

I’m not sure what F4 cirrhosis is, but it sounds nasty. I’m glad the pain relief is helping partially.

I want to thank you for your input on the forum, it really is helpful.

I’m rather concerned about the health of my liver at the moment. I am having symptoms of itchy hands, feet and shins. If I scratch the itchy parts too much I erupt in tiny red spots (any comments on this would be great).

I was due to have a blood test to make sure the hep c virus was cleared, but since the Covid 19 scare the blood test was cancelled. I looked on line and discovered with 2% of people successfully treated the virus can re-occur. This is quite rare, but not impossible.

Blessings to everyone on the forum. Looking forward to getting to know you more.

God bless you all,

Malc.

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, Malc, and you too 👍.

[davianne in reply to Hidden]

Hi Malc,

Thanks for the reply.

F4 cirrhosis is where the scarring, and therefore function of the liver is severely impaired. It can be managed though, and is not a death sentence. I am living proof of that, and my cirrhosis is now compensated, which means, its just about able to perform it's functions with the help of my spleen. That is why my spleen is nearly twice it's normal size.

I had really bad itching, mostly on lower legs and ankles, and used to scratch them raw sometimes.I found that keeping them cool helps somewhat....ice packs for example, and calamine lotion is good too.

At night, I pull the duvet off them so they don't get hot.

I am in the extremely vulnerable group for several conditions, and never leave the house just now, except for clapping for the NHS.

We have Church services using Zoom, and prayer meetings also, so our faith needs are met.

God Bless, and Stay Safe,

David

[Hidden]

Thanks David for explaining the type of cirrhosis you have.

Pleased to hear your cirrhosis isn’t a death sentence.

Thanks for tips on the itch problem.

We also have church service and prayer/Bible study using Zoom.

Blessings to you and all the folk on the forum,

Malc

[davianne in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Malc, 🙏🙏🙏

David