Day 50 - The Hot Dry Desert

[Jalanutan]

I don’t really feel a hell of a lot of positive vibes atm. What with pain, pain meds etc. Ok, I can say I am continuing to lose weight, though I haven’t stepped on a set of scales since I went to my gym last Wed. Yes, I know it’s only the other day, but it feels like a month. I have the staples out this Thursday, which is just 15 days since the hip-replacement. I’ve pulled in another notch on my belt, so I must’ve lost around 6kg since my violent change of life direction. I say that, cause I’m far enough down the abstinence track to look back at what happened.

Man, I’ve had some hairy days, but that very first day was like hog-tying a run-away steer at full gallop. I just had to get that one day under my belt, then build on it. Alcohol was killing me. I kept gaining weight, no matter what I tried. You all know alcohol lowers your will power and with me at least, that meant more alcohol with hot, salty, soggy chips. My lung function was suffering badly, motivation was almost non-existent, and my alcoholic lifestyle was becoming, feeling like normality; a habitual behaviour that was reinforced each day at 9am when the bottle shop opened down at the beach.

I feel I’m in another world now. My senses, that were sedated, dulled, are now accurately interpreting the outside world, I guess. Now that sounds a little out there, lol, but it’s like everything is new. I think I said in an earlier post that I was a bit freaked out by it, but my sight, taste, smell, hearing and touch are heightened. Walking each day, I can smell the grass, trees and that fresh, sweet smell of rain. I think the first week post-surgery, I was still affected by the anaesthetic, and the whole process was a distraction from the alcohol urges.

So now, I’m enjoying this experience. Hip’s healing well and this morning I felt I didn’t even need a stick. I’ve been given a forth chance at sorting out my life, and I’m not going to spoil it. With support, I feel I’m on my way to a new life, fit and back windsurfing, yeah!

Well, it started out a ‘Hot, Dry Desert’, because I just didn’t feel that talkative and had a sort of writer’s block. However, I found an oasis and promise of a better future.

So, thank you all for your encouragement, support and best wishes that helped heaps and I’ll post a day 60 as well.

Cya’s

[Hidden]

Great to read about your journey of discovery... it's inspiring. Thank you!

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Appreciated

[CocoChannel]

“I feel I’m in another world now”

You are 😀

OK, apart from the dodgy hip which isn’t helping, all sounds on plan. It’ll soon become the norm not to drink although those urges never go completely unfortunately, but they do reduce in size.

Roll on day 60 👍

[Bootandall in reply to CocoChannel]

Do you agree those urges are of a social, not physical, nature? The physical withdrawal from alcohol has a more finite resolution. I'm not saying that makes it any easier, and don't mean to minimize alcohol's very real physical, and physically damaging, effects.

Whereas the commitment to an alcohol-free lifestyle is one that has to be made anew on a more frequent, sometimes daily, basis.

I'm talking about relearning social behaviors that are taught and reinforced by our parents, friends, bosses, etc.

People who offer up a toast, buy you a drink, size up your ability to "hold your liquor."

That may never go away, even if you're not an alcoholic, because that is part of our social fabric and we are social creatures who seek to belong to groups.

That's difficult for all of us, some more so than others. Just keepin' it real.

Hang ten! 😎⛱️🌊🌈🌞

[CocoChannel in reply to Bootandall]

A bit of both. I also used to sit there on the computer or in front of the TV with a glass of wine. Nothing social about that 😀 That was just a habit and a pretty pathetic one as not only did I not appreciate the taste and aroma of the wine, I didn’t notice the rate at which it went down! So not only is it a habit, but your body becomes accustomed to all that alcohol going down your throat evert night. So it then becomes a physical/mental thing.

The social side was always a problem, but surprisingly it was easier to give up for this side of things. I told friends I’d stopped drinking, and once they’d recovered from the shock, they were pretty OK and supportive and would have called me out if I’d been tempted to drink.

I’ve no problem now telling strangers i don’t drink. I mean, if they ask of offer me a drink - I don’t walk the streets telling complete strangers 🙂

[Jalanutan in reply to CocoChannel]

Yeah, I'm on a roll hahaha. The urges? I have alternatives that are now much easier to employ. Even the previously constant glass in the hand, I substitute for coffee, juice, soup etc. even water.

I think the urges are both physical and psychological. Though when emotions are involved, like relationship trouble or it's been a hard day at work or that long drive, can we say it's purely physical? Certainly not any sort of withdrawal after months/years. But it's these emotive situations that seem to prompt that ''old'' urge. Sneaky alcohol, so insidious. And as far as social drinking, I don't have a problem, I'll just say 'no', or drink coke or non-alco beer! If people think less of me, than so be it..

Thx CocoChannel and also Boots for keepin' it real. Good points, great stuff

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Interesting point about physical and mental - I experience that the physical discomfort itself doesn't drive the 'drink would sort it' though. It seems the discomfort drives the brain to find what would help. And it comes up with the most fixed habit we have had and says "go to it". So we just have to remember, maybe forever, to recognise the discomfort, go the way that works kindly to yourself to soothe the here and now irritation.

[Bootandall in reply to Hidden]

You are so right, good point how the mental discomfort becomes more physical out of old habit.

So it is really a relearning process of finding healthy ways to comfort oneself. Staying in the moment, becoming mindful of the triggers and short-circuiting the loop.

Thanks Phyllis for that aha! moment. 💡👍🤯

[Hidden in reply to Bootandall]

Sometimes my brain is a bit like a juke box of old. I want to play a tune, put my money in the slot, press the 'right' button, watch as the mechanical arm raises and selects the disc - then aaaaaaaaah It plays loud the oppposite of what I wanted to spin!

Luckily, with age, I don't stress and strive so much about playing the 'wrong' disc.

[Bootandall in reply to Hidden]

I really like that analogy! 👍😅

[Jalanutan in reply to CocoChannel]

You're right, I am in another world

[Hidden]

Ride the waves dude. 🌊

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

That's me goal. You know, I haven't even been in the ocean since late 2011!!! Smack me!

[Bootandall in reply to Jalanutan]

SMACK!

[Jalanutan in reply to Bootandall]

ouch! Hahaha, I'm on my way down to cleans my soul asap..

[Bootandall in reply to Jalanutan]

I hope to go next month, Christmas treat! 🎅🎄👍

[Jalanutan in reply to Bootandall]

I know you'll enjoy it. Happy days

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Bootandall]

Wow - where to boot - isn’t it mega miles from you? Hope you do make it though 👍

[Bootandall in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Five hour drive to family in SC, but technically it is only a 2 hour drive to the Atlantic coast. 🌊

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Bootandall]

Aha and SC is? For us brits or maybe it’s just me 🙂. Southern California? South Carolina? Seattle City - lol and any other SCs I couldn’t dream up

Milo Pilo

[Bootandall in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Sorry, I live in North Carolina, and my daughter lives in S. Carolina. Those states are on our east coast.

[ThreeSmiles]

That’s quite a story! Good job and very interesting to all of us I should think.

Fancy putting a bottle shop on the beach! Is that mean or what!

Hope you continue to get better and stitch removal goes well 👍👍

Miles

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Thx Miles.

Ha, yeah man, mean doesn't cover it, it's the 'or what'. Down right manipulative...

There are 'some' indigenous communities in Aussie, where alcoholism can sometimes be a problem, so the brewers stick a bottle shop smack bang in the middle of this 'way-out-back' community where they jack the prices up, twice that of the hotel in town...

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

Ratbags

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Damn Straight

[Bootandall in reply to Jalanutan]

Sneaky.

My problem is whenever someone says you can't do something, l want to do it. so. bad.

[Jalanutan in reply to Bootandall]

Hmmm, well, it can be, but working out how to do something is not the same as doin' it, hey! I'm a bit the same. Many ppl just go along with the general consensus, but not me, so I'm labeled a troublemaker...so be it!

[Bootandall in reply to Jalanutan]

Exactly, we are stronger than our basest urges. But we have to decide, no one else, lol. 😉

[davianne]

Great, this booze free life init ????.......suddenly when the for clears, all senses are heightened. Your doing a great job, just keep it up. Good news on the weight loss too.👍👍👍

Looking forward to the next installment of your journey😁😁😁

David

[Hidden in reply to davianne]

Fog on top🧠. Is there fog down under? 🤔

[davianne in reply to Hidden]

Not in my case😁😁😁

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Love this wit, hahaha

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

You know, they call Aussie 'down under', and yes, we do have fog, but nothing like the UK hahaha

[Jalanutan in reply to davianne]

Appreciate it David. Yep, as you say it's great and for the hip pocket too!

[Hidden]

Hi

You should be really proud of yourself, roll in 60!! I'm sure your friends and family are thrilled to bits. Please take care of yourself Lynne

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Thx Lynne

Sorry, no family and mixed reactions from friends. Its a bit like the 'real thing' that Boots spoke of. I understand that some feel threatened by what I've accomplished so far, like it reflects on them in some way.

Whatever, I sort of view the people here as friends, if you know what I mean...

[davianne in reply to Jalanutan]

Your doing great, please don't listen to the doubting friends, because they haven't reached your level of realisation that alcohol is poison yet. Just be a bit smug that you have😊😊😊👍👍👍...... you don't need booze to have fun.😁😁😁

David

[Jalanutan in reply to davianne]

I'm p***** at their attitude, but that's their problem. Anyway, like you say, you have more fun in every way

[CocoChannel in reply to Jalanutan]

I had no trouble telling friends I was alco dependent, and once they got over the initial shock, they were supportive that I’d stopped drinking.

But another point. Am I smug when I tell people I don’t drink? Oh yes 😀

It goes like this:

Colleague: blah blah beer?

Me: I don’t drink. I used to, but I stopped

Colleague: you mean you only drink at weekends?

Me: No

Colleague: on holiday?

Me: Nope

Colleague: So when do you drink?

Me: I just said. I used to, but I stopped.

Colleague: So you don’t drink at all?

Me: No.

Colleague: Coming for a beer after work?

I had the misfortune of going on a business trip with five colleagues recently. They had two pints for starters, then went to a restaurant for four more beers before dessert in a pub where I assume more drink was taken (I didn’t follow). Living the dream.

[Jalanutan in reply to CocoChannel]

Yeah, understand, but not smug, that's just a negative derogatory way of putting down those who are abstaining. It's almost like they want you to get down and dirty with them. Cause if you don't, it's showing them up...

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Everyone on here us great. I have Nash caused by meds from my Drs but I do understand drinking alcohol can become an illness through no fault of your own. Take care Lynne

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

True, but I know some would say, 'You chose to drink'. No-one, in my opinion is wholly responsible, as there are just too many variables. Advertising, social acceptance, easily accessible and relatively inexpensive, just to name a few...

Thx Lynne, good point

[Bootandall in reply to Jalanutan]

Yass, exactly!

Threatened, because without a doubt, they know it's wrong to ignore their health and responsibilities to family and self to do better.

At least, that's what l have experienced. My old drinking buddies, who are still friends, but we are miles apart now, so it's automatically different, have confided that they wish they could quit. Of course, we both know they can, but it's not a priority for them right now. I don't feel smug, l feel sad and a little bit angry. I'm not going to pretend l'm perfect now. Being sober isn't always fun or easy. On a good day, l do feel more positive. Maybe if l felt better more days, it would bother me less.

[Jalanutan in reply to Bootandall]

Yep, ya'nailed it... How long have you been sober? I'm still goin' through that PAWS 'Moonbeam' put me on to. To be truthful, I'm going through a certain amount of stress atm and not just the hip hop...sorry can't help myself If I was still on the booze, it'd be goin' down easy atm. But now, I have to deal with situations that would normally have me headin' down to the bottlo. So, I'm not bouncin' around with a stupid grin on me dial all the time. No, but I'm finding it easier and easier to deal with idiots and my music helps heaps. I've got to focus on my goal to be windsurfing this season and uni next. year, keep on moving forward. You know, I'm less and less interested on hanging out with the boys. I feel on the outer, cause it's all about alcohol. I know it would be much easier if it wasn't so ingrained in our culture...

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

seems like it's the tip of the iceberg, giving up what we're addicted to. It's a massive loss. It triggers a full-on bereavement process with all its stages. It is a great tangle of painful stuff that needs unraveling. We can do it. It's such an unpleasant process that we can doubt if its the 'right thing' to do. But the self who witnesses the pain we are going through is aware that it is the right thing. We can do it. But it is not an event, it's a forever process leading us on, in most cases away from people we have been close to or just hung out with. We can do it, and better with help. Keep finding your 'strong' Jalantuan. You can do it.

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

Wow - that’s very philosophical filly! Nice one! 👍

[Bootandall in reply to Jalanutan]

It's late, l can't sleep, if you really want the down low, l will lay it out for you.

I have been sober since 2016, since before the day l found out l had cirrhosis.

I did not consider myself a big drinker, just a normal person who drank occasionally. When l found l had cirrhosis, l was told l couldn't drink anymore, so l quit, no problem.

The complication for me is, l live with an alcoholic. l resent it very much that he doesn't have a thing wrong with his liver, and find it more and more intolerable lately to be around alcohol, through him.

I mean, that isn't new, it was already a problem tbh. But having cirrhosis has really changed my priorities, and l want to be healthy as can be now.

In the past, I have thought, at times, if you can't beat them, join them.

I grew up with an alcoholic parent, I'm sure that's why it seemed so normal. I am constantly fighting depression, l ate my feelings for years and gained a lot of weight. I am tempted sometimes by the promise of oblivion, but know how stupid that would be.

To make a long story short, l know my journey is just beginning. There but for the grace of God, as they say.

[Hidden in reply to Bootandall]

Awesome.

[Jalanutan in reply to Bootandall]

I appreciate your candour. Wow, three years, that's awesome, and I see the strength you've had to muster for day to day coping.

I don't have anyone drinking in front of me as you have, but I can relate to the emotional eating and depression. You're an inspiration, the way you can centre on our own present and future health.

I tip my hat

[Bootandall in reply to Jalanutan]

I don't know what l would do without your, and others', support.

[Hidden in reply to Bootandall]

As long as ur in good state north or south. 🤓. Sure we may well all be related. A Viking said that to me on holidays, not to mention the Police Officer in Florida who's great great, u know the rest. That's the end of the History lesson. 👍

[Jalanutan in reply to Bootandall]

I'm humbled, especially as you see me only just into my second month of alcohol abstinence! Nonetheless, if you check back near the end of this Day50 post where I say I've been given a 'fourth' chance of sorting out my life, it's not a typo.

LSD/Psychosis; Financial ruin/divorce/pain med addiction/methadone program; 2nd divorce/matricide accusations/pain med addiction/stilnox addiction/methadone program#2; Alcohol... But who's counting...

You know Boots, Miles mentioned that you should write a book. Why not? I also intend to write an autobiography. I've actually already begun, but don't know if I'll finish it. Guess I'll just keep pluggin' away...

I almost just deleted the lot...apart from the first sentence that is; yet, here it stands. There's certainly nothing to boast about... :-I

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

What a great survivor you are. Thank you for telling us and I hope that made a space in you that you can enjoy.

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Thx mate, I appreciate the acknowledgement. Depressed me a bit while typing, you know, remembering etc.

I believe in the strength of an individual to overcome adversity. I replied to this earlier, but lost it all (all the text). Bummer, but long to short, I have this alcoholism to trounce and git bak on the track. Back at uni, which I returned to this year to finish a degree in social work I began a decade ago.

I'm not going to let all that lived experience perish and go to waste. Now, that would be a tragedy...

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Good for you. You'll have 10 years more credits of experience to bring to that now. Agreed. Not to be wasted.

[Bootandall in reply to Jalanutan]

It is certainly a lot of work to change. Let's think about transformation, the lowly worm who eats everything in sight, then cocoons from the outside world of noisy interference, and finally, emerges into the sunlight with fragile wings, a butterfly! 🦋😀

[Hidden in reply to Bootandall]

You'll never need to find out. We'll be staying close. You are irreplaceable.

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Bootandall]

Wow Boot what an open and honest post. Incredible - as usual!

Get writing that book 😀👍

[Hidden in reply to Bootandall]

You don't need to pretend to be perfect, you are.

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

I'm learning to walk on water, though your view re bereavement is very real. It's really hard in the beginning, when there are no positive changes and all I can think about is how I would 'feeeel' half stung down at the beach. It 'is' a great loss, and I've not heard it put in such a way as you have here.

You mentioned the 'self' that is witness, I like that, almost philosophical. But then, we don't know what we don't know... We are what we are. I am. That is enough...

Thank you

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

non-dualism.

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Yes, in this respect, no conflict...perhaps in all respects

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

I believe so, letting go is more useful than holding on.

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

useful yes, not so easy though. Fear is the enemy.

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

We aren't talking of letting go of a life-raft, only letting go of what gets in the way of living better. In this sense fear is your friend - it signals that you can decide what action to take to stay safe.

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

It is a loss. Mourn it with respect. Don't monster it and don't despise any part of your past behaviours that didn't work. Let 'em go in peace!

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Yes, otherwise we give it power.

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

And it uses that power to block our energy?

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

It's our baby, so I would say we can block our energy!

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Exactly! We block our own energy, no one can do that to us, and no one but we can unblock it.

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Yeah... not easy, though nothing worthwhile ever is. I've much to learn in this life and much I wish to accomplish. Though it seems to me, that being able to prevent a misuse/waste, of our own power and energy, by our own hand, that so much of our life would fall into place.

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Sometimes the light gets in just enough to see where to go next. (Leonard Cohen, "there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in..) Just be you, not your past or your future. Just keep on doing what a body must do to stay alive. Sometime in the day, just Be Aware of what you are doing. Even if you are just washing a cup to drink from, notice what you see and feel and hear. Even if you are lying in a heap, notice every detail. Could you get more comfortable? Enjoy being you in the moment. More and more every day.

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Too right, it's what I used to do and try to focus on now. For me, it's about awareness of ones senses, interpreting what's 'out there'! In return I am relaxed and calm, with little or no chatter in my head, allowing for an expansive consciousness

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Sounds like bliss to me!

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Hop on. Heavy water man.

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Yes, I have faith, some...

[Bootandall in reply to Hidden]

You are sweet, thank you for that. x

[Hidden in reply to Bootandall]

it's reality, I'm not even sweet. (except after I made cookies for others but ate them myself)

[Hidden in reply to Bootandall]

I'm going to make breakfast now. Spinach wilted with all the water squeezed out. Add some chilli and grated lemon rind, some brocoli (?), some diced FRIED bacon. in a pan like an eggless omelette. I can eat anything in the morning. Afternoon is difficult. I watched impeachment inquiry, live, yesterday. I thought it very impressive and moving.

[Bootandall in reply to Hidden]

Today should be even more interesting!

[Hidden in reply to Bootandall]

Ask them to not start without me please - doctor at 2pm!! The wood carving is stunning.... worth watching for that alone, but the proceedings are very interesting. It helps me to see a thorough disection for some reason. The outcome will be what it is, but the process is inspiring.

[Bootandall in reply to Hidden]

Ha ha, that is the kind of thing l would notice too. Nice carpet lol. It's a sad process, as is any legal proceeding.

[Hidden in reply to Bootandall]

It's uncomfortable watching at times, antlers clashing like they can't help it.

[Bootandall in reply to Hidden]

Fiona Hill's testimony was devastating! 😉

And devastatingly funny when she talked about how her mother cut her hair to look like Richard III after her classmate set her braid on fire.

Without getting into politics, I loved what she said about being upset with a male ambassador:

"I was actually, to be honest, angry with him and, you know, I hate to say it, but often when women show anger, it's not fully appreciated," Hill testified, adding, "It's often, you know, pushed onto emotional issues perhaps or deflected onto other people."

I wanted to stand up and cheer! In fact, her matter-of-fact criticism of sexism apparently resonated with strong women everywhere. l understand it was quite a sensation on social media.

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Bootandall]

Who on earth is Fiona Hill? I feel I am missing out on something! Bet it’s to do with Trumpety Trump, isn’t it!

[Bootandall in reply to ThreeSmiles]

From Wikipedia:

Fiona Hill is a British-born American foreign affairs specialist. She is a former official at the (United States) National Security Council specializing in Soviet, Russian and European affairs.

Miles, she testified today at the impeachment hearings, which were televised live. She is a first generation American, her father was a coal miner in Northern England and her family was poor.

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Bootandall]

Aha thanks boot! I was lazy wasn’t I!! So I am assuming she is testing against Trumpy boy? I suppose if I was so inclined I should google it. But all in all a bit fed up with the news over here never mind one of my favourite places - your country of course! ... (yes I am indeed biased from lovely hols over there as an innocent tourist 😀😀)

[Bootandall in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Technically no one is testifying for or against, just telling what they know, saw and/or heard as regards the facts surrounding a complaint by a credible witness (the so-called whistle-blower) that the President of the United States committed impeachable offense(s).

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Bootandall]

Aha OKey dokey - ta again. You should go into writing boot - now where have I heard that before!

[Bootandall in reply to ThreeSmiles]

If you like that, you should've heard Fiona Hill, she basically said the same thing today, and laid it all out plainly. Even l could understand it. 👍😀

[Hidden in reply to Bootandall]

Wasn't she a phenomenon? Devastatingly precise and understated. I loved when she confirmed that she put out the fire on her braids with her bare hands and carried on with the exam. I liked she made clear the danger of 'sides' in an argument where the far bigger danger was elsewhere, undefended.

Thanks for hedz up for the day. I missed not a moment.

I hope it stays able to view on internet.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

What else was in the mix. Lucidity and some fully conscious exploring, round 7:30am. Worldly. & Me in my cot.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

have a look - parliament channel - today 2-10pm - see what ya think.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Mad Hatters Tea Party .

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That was cBB's I think...

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

😲Watched Fiona Hill🤔

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Whitehouse, Whitewash. No🧠er. 😜

[Hidden]

Fabulous story and well done on all your achievements !

Maybe in time some of this to look forward to when your hips fully recovered 🏝🏊‍♂️!

Take care and keep in touch!

Trish

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Yep, absolutely

Thank you heaps

[Hidden]

Our brains seem hardwired to remind us to do what we habitually did. Even tho what we did was damaging. If I ignore its reminding me, it reminds me more often. If I say "thanks for reminding me but I don't do that anymore" gradually there are fewer and weaker reminders. It sounds woohoo, talking to your brain but it works for me.

[davianne in reply to Hidden]

Hi Fili,

I think my brain was wired by an apprentice.......and they got it wrong.

Dyslexic, OCD and mild Autism.......but I don't mind being left handed, it's inherited from my Da, Granda...etc. My 2 sons are also lefties.

I think they might all be connected 🤔🤔🤔🤔

David

[Hidden in reply to davianne]

I'm much the same, difference-wise,but I say they wired me different, not wrong

[davianne in reply to Hidden]

Hi Fili,

Sorry, your right, I just got the answer wrong. There are a lot of advantages in being the way we are😊😊😊

[Hidden in reply to davianne]

Run Forest run. Up the left? 👍

Stupid is as stupid does. That's me🧠

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

But it's the 'RIGHT' brain!!! Isn't it???

[Wass71 in reply to davianne]

David, I've said before that my boys are similar, but you are so like my boys, Stanley is left handed, has Aspergers, Freddie is dyslexic. I used to joke with my husband that I'd made them wonky but I think it's genetics. My brother is proper OCD, he used to have alcohol dependence due to recurring obsessions, needing to be free of his mind. He is also left handed!! My sister, who died in 2010 due to alcoholism had mental health issues. So I think as well as the physical and social reasons for alcohol dependence, our genes play a big part.

X

[davianne in reply to Wass71]

Hi Wass,

I have known for a long time that my differences to ordinary people were connected. When I was at school these differences weren't known about.

so I was labeled as thick, because I was very slow.

I couldn't read 'till I was 9 years old, so was put in the lower stream. It was then that I started to shine.....photographic memory, very quick at maths, good at art,and strangely, writing stories and poetry. I got put in the A stream for English and Maths, I subsequently went on to get O levels,A levels and a degree in engineering.

My Da like me was made to write right handed, it failed with me, but my Da ended up ambidextrous.

None of these differences should stop any child from achieving.

Have a look at the Dyslexia website, there's a lot of info about us, and they have a YouTube channel also.

David

[Hidden in reply to davianne]

You have done so well and are an inspiration to us all. Xx

[davianne in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Lynne,

It took me a lot longer than the other students, but I got there in the end.

My Da used to say.....the harder the journey, the more the end is cherished.

David

[Hidden in reply to davianne]

Yes, you got there and should be very proud of yourself. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Wass71]

Hi.

Thank goodness there is more help out there these days. My friend's son wasn't diagnosed until high school but he has done so well. I bet you are very proud if your boys. Before I took ill health retirement last year , one if my jobs in school was teaching assistant, i worked with children who had autism, Asperger's syndrome etc. It was so rewarding seeing them achieve different things in school. Even if they weren't always top off the class, they'd done well for their ability and made us all so proud of them as were their parents!! Sorry, I digressed then . Love and hugs Lynne xxxx

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

An onerous job, but yes, so very rewarding...

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You've helped so many children Lynne and that will go on being a force for good even though you can't do that work now. x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

I get it, like you acknowledge it and deal with it. I'll try that. Anyway, I like 'woohoo'. Woohoo

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Yes, and sometimes the 'reminder' triggers a memory of how good it was (tasted, felt, whatever). But it is only a memory. What harmed us was poison and still is.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Apparently the only time I had a smile on my face was glass in hand.

Always smiling, So sad. ☹️

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

are you smiling now?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Laughing all the way to the bank. Its a money spinner. No longer down the drain. Health is wealth. 👍

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Great! Good luck to you.

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

I was smiling on the 'way' to the bottlo, very sad...

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Man, if we dwell on that thought, we're done for. It happened to me every single day. The thing is, I know it's poisoning me, trying to kill me, but it still lead me down to the bottle... That was sooooo hard for me anyway. To get that first day in, so I had to continually distract myself from that thought of being down the beach, feet up on the dash, watching all the talent cruise by while I chilled out with my bourbon baby.....DAMN, STOP IT...someone SLAP me again... lol

[Jalanutan in reply to Jalanutan]

Actually, it's not funny at all, sorry :-I

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

I'm truly happy to slap you !!! Watching all that talent...... You sounded like you we're a bit of a .... what's the word .......drunken stoker which was definately NOT good, so your well slapped 🤣🤣🤣

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Well slapped Trish. I was wanting to slap him for saying "talent". He didn't even give it a capital T! I let him off from laziness.

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

I have just used a capital T so you can’t tell me off filly!

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Yes, I was hasty, certainly deserved the slaps, I love it, lol

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

Ah you meanie Trish. I used to watch the talent - oops sorry filly - the Talent - when I used to live at the beach in you know where 🙂👍. It was part of life when we limed around as young uns!!

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Now come on Miles , back then your male hormone's had kicked in, so I'm going to let you off! No slapping required this time ! 😁😁

Any way Miles why does Filly get an apology and not me as I'm no way a spoil sport in any form.or manner? 😣

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

I was only apologising for using a lower case t 😀 not for what I said 😀👍.

Mind you I would normally say talent not Talent but anything for a quiet life me 👍

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Your forgiven 😁

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

👍

Oh by the way read the thread “Grammar Police“ - it will make you laugh - a we bit 😀😀😀😀

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Ok will do later as I'm meeting Fran shortly for some crimbo shopping and girlie chat👍😁

You/all have a fabby Saturday !

Maybe some of this could be on the tv ⚽️

😁

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It probably is Trish. There's a tv company who would be glad to hear your idea - they do the off-the-wall sort of things.

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

a we bit or a wee bit? How come you flag up my "T'" and haven't yet pointed out Trish's STORKER. It is very funny.

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

I used we as a joke Trishi use we 😀

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

I'll give ten euros to a passing stranger to the first one of us to get a new thread started. Can't find who say what now and hed hurty. Trish, what did you buy at the shopping expedition with Fran?

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

I have - somewhere on here. I can’t keep track of this thread! Especially as I am away from my beloved iPad

[Bootandall in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Don't you mean "wee"?

Signed, the Spelling Police 😂😂😂👮🚨🚔

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Bootandall]

I said we on Purpose Trish like we instead of wee 😀

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

That's Right, but speak for ya'self, I'm still a young'n...

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

What are you replying to here Jal me ol’ fruit?

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

think you said you talent-spotted as a young un. Jal doesn't consider age to be a barrier to his hobby.

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Yep, Fili's spot on Miles, guess the post I was replying is somewhere around. I just logged in, and say a few more posts. I'm in a different time zone is seems.

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

I think we are all in different time zones on her Jal in one way or another - mostly another!

It’s now so hard to follow! Time for a new post - go on do it - you know it makes sense 😀

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Yes, of course, this thread is becoming too fragmented.

I'll wait for Day 60 though, not too far off

Cya

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

OK. Now there’s an incentive if ever there was! Lmao 👌.

Continuing good luck me ol’ fruit.

Oh yes meant to say you indeed sound like a limer! Get on with it 👍. 🙂

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

what is Limed Miles, please?

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

Hi filly - in Barbados a limer was someone who chilled out on the beach or anywhere chilling out watching others alone or as a group. Usually young uns. Jal would be a limer if he was in Barbados 😀

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Hmmm, there's not term for that in oz. Interesting name Miles. A limer/limers, is it referred to as a derogatory word there?

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

Absolutely NOT! Liming is for cool cats 😎 - 😀👍

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Then I'm Liming al the way. And by the way, how are you able to get al the emoticons on here???

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

They just come up as auto suggestions on my iPad! Rather cheaty. But there is an App called Peach emoji which is brilliant as well!

emojipedia.org/peach/

Miles

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Thx for the link. Yes, they pop up when I'm typing an email, though not here, and I use a MacBook!!!

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

Oh 🙁

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Yeah, I don't understand it. I've the latest iOS too (Catalina)

Checked the link, just now and have downloaded emoji lite but it still can't use it here...I'll have to read the instructions, damn, blokes don't need those things eh!?

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

🍑 Android simples 🍑

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

is that 2 butts? My name's Jay actually, but jay is ok, or Lime

[Jalanutan in reply to Jalanutan]

Damn grammar correcting...grrrr. I meant 'jal' is ok

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

I like lime 👍

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

I don't really go for Lime, so Jay or jal , jalan, or nothing.

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

Ok if you insist, whatsyournname...

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

I hate android

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

Blurry instructions - they are a pain in the ar... Behind! everything should be intuitive - no instructions required. That’s was my design philosophy 🙂👍

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Each to their own I guess, but I changed to iOS and love it. I've still an android phone, cause it works and expensive to buy a new iPhone. I used PC's since 92, for my business etc and always threatened to change to 'Apple', and people who did said they'd never go back, but I reckoned that the devil you know and all that.

Now, I say I'll never go back. I've an iPad that is just soooo good. Like I said, each to their own, and I'm not judging here, least ways I hope no-one thinks that

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

I agree - each to their own I tried an android phone and hated it. But hey ho it’s all a matter of choice as you say. I love my ipad and my iphone is OK. I have a windows PC because I could not justify an Apple one!

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

great philosophy, and perhaps the way of the future, but not in my time. Withal, I find more and more intuitive people, or perhaps we are attracted???!!!

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

Jay, jal, limer - don’t they say opposites attract or is that magnets.....

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Hahahah! that's loaded. Hey, didn't you have a knee replacement?

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

No missed out on that one thank youknowwho. Back op 3 weeks ago. Planning the next ones now 😀

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

That's right, I remember. Mine was back in 2010. Had a laminectomy and discectomy of the L4/l5 vertebra.

I guess your home now, but how's it healing, well I hope?

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

Evening JayJalLimer

How can you remember the L numbers but they sound mighty familiar! And there were deffo two! 😀.

To be honest it is, at the moment, still worse than before the op. I am hoping it is going to improve. 🤞🤞

Is yours good now?

Milo Pilo

🇧🇧

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Yep, all good, and I can bend to touch me toes too! I had to be very careful that I didn't over stretch etc. I guess they've given you the appropriate exercises to follow! Do them please, but it's such a delicate part of our body.

Won't be long before you're doin' gymnastics

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

LMAO - gymnastics hahahahaha. 😀

Good point on the exercises. Hitting about 50% success on that so far - must try harder.

Glad you can touch your toes! I couldn’t do that when I was OK!

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

ROFL hahahaha

It's just takes time mate, you'll get there! I can hardly see the scar now! But best of all, no pain yayayayayaaaaaa

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

What's a 'stoker' when they're not feeding the fire??? lol

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Blummin heck I was just about to amend my error when you beat me to it !!!!! This happened because I've been on the forum since 3am !

STORKER ! Are we happy now???? 🤣🤣🤣

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Not half, I liked 'stoker' much better, it even fit. Hozat for a fluke

Enjoy your evening or whatever time it is where you all are...

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

1000 hours!

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Very happy, I'm still laughin' hahahahahahah lol

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

What’s a storker when it’s at home?

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣 My spelling sometimes is so 👎👎👎👎👎crap sometimes.....The laughs on me! Stalker 😁😁😁😁

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Stalker is mostly used when pursuing one person. I guess you can say I was people watching....like we all do, right!

They just happen to be of the opposite gender

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Well your a typical guy I guess😁

I quiet enjoy people watching whilst leisurely having a drink when maybe sitting outside a lovely french cafe most relaxing, and if in the right location it can be quiet enchanting which I like and love ! 🤗

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Typical guy, in that respect, you bet!

French cafe', absolutely lovely! We have similar, though different ambience...

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

Yes - do sit their quitely Trish. It’s the only way to go. Except maybe down from 10000.....

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Ah! So I can SCREAM ! SWEAR or just 💩 myself for the first 5000🤣🤣🤣

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

Well the first two are 👍, the third OK as you tell the people looking up from below - OK?

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Surely that's not literal...

[Jalanutan in reply to Jalanutan]

Anyway, what happens with the 5000 that's left?

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

Well Jal jay limer whatsyourname with Trishi who knows...

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

I was going to write something crude re the 3rd icon then thought against it! 👎

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Good for you... I rethink all the time, thinking that the moderators may be reading also??? hahahaha

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Moderators! Who are they 🤣🤣🤣!

I'm proud to be me! Typo error's and ALL as life's to damn short to be picki ...let's all just have fun .... 🤣 🤣

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

And, to be fair to them, the moderators on here are very relaxed - imho! 👍

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Come on Miles! I was joking about the lovely moderators ! I'm sure they've sussed me out by now otherwise I'd be in jail ! 🤣

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

I no yyou wer Trisha

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Trust1 for one, who commented here, down at the bottom of this thread I think...

Fun's th word

[Jalanutan in reply to Jalanutan]

This may have been a typo, but soooo good, like 'feeding/stoking the fire of desire'

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

I was going to comment but hey ho! typo error's are a part of every day life 🤣 so who really care's, maybe those who are bored?

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

True, and doesn't bother me, but sometimes it's almost like a puzzle, as the meaning changes, but fun trying to work it out

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

I like fun ! The more the better 👍😊 plus I'm guessing Miles loves working out a good puzzle too!

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

ya think!!! hahaha

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

Your rite Trish I adoar a good puzle 👍

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

Yes that’s me - bored....Thanks for that Trish

.

.

😀

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Oh my your quick on the mark this morning and perky with it 👍

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Hidden]

Happens when your board dont you know 😀

[Hidden in reply to ThreeSmiles]

I'm not bored ! I'm multi tasking as usual 🤣

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

me too! Both bord & multi-tasking, tryin' not to focus on the hip ache

[Jalanutan in reply to Jalanutan]

This morning!!! It's dusk here, beautiful sinset

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Whats your location? I'm busy in the kitchen preparing Sunday Lunch of Roast Lamb whilst Lady Antebellum playing away on Alexa and I'm jigging away at the same 💃💃! Then some flower shopping ..

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

I'm east coast of Australia. They call it the 'Sunshine Coast', and it's becoming more and more touristy of late.

Where are you, London?

It's now mid morning here

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

I hear it's a beautiful place to visit ?what's the temperature normally this time of the year?

I'm 159 miles north west of London and 15 miles from a beautiful town called Shrewsbury! 😁

Time here now is 3.54am and its pitch black outside!

How are your feeling otherwise ?

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Ok, so there's about 14hrs diff, as it's just after 5pm right now. Beauty is relative of course, and I reckon that quaint little town of Shrewsbury would be nice to visit too!

How am I feeling? I've had/have a little anxiety lately, though I know how to deal with it...sort of. I really think that 'PAWS' is still clawing at me from time to time.

I know that recovery from a major op in terms of psychological as well as physiological can be taxing, and take time to balance out.

Still, being in the moment can be onerous, to say the least. That's why I use distraction to good affect.

I appreciate you caring enough to ask, thx

[Hidden]

Thank you for sharing your inspiring story, I am sure it will help others who are going through similar experiences.

Warm wishes

Trust1

[Jalanutan]

I appreciate that Trust1, thank you

[auntiesally]

Yahoooooooooooo, you sound smashing, so glad you are feeling more positive, I have never tried windsurfing in my life! Love watching though! Your weight loss will be an advantage to you, roll on day 60!

[Jalanutan in reply to auntiesally]

Hey, thx for that. Actually, windsurfing was always really big in the UK and Europe, heaps more than here in Aussie. It's one of those sports where age isn't really a barrier, as long as your health is reasonable. Anyway, your health improves as you learn, I reckon it's great, but I'm bias, lol.

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

Just a tad methinks 🙂

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Windsurfing's just great, like surfing, but using the power of wind energy. Howzat for sustainable!!!

[ThreeSmiles in reply to Jalanutan]

But you haven’t been to the beach in years? Back to it soon I hope 👍

[Jalanutan in reply to ThreeSmiles]

Oh yes, every day at the bottlo with 'bourbon baby', remember! I just haven't gotten 'wet' yet. hahahaha

I like the fun/wit on here. Cya

[davianne in reply to Jalanutan]

I tried sofa surfing in my youth, does that count. But it didn't improve my health😢😢

I had a friend at Uni who used the "power of wind"to clear a room......worked every time🤣🤣🤣

[Bootandall in reply to davianne]

😹😹

[Jalanutan in reply to davianne]

It depends on the activity while sofa surfin'

Ok, the gusting wind power you describe counts and is sustainable too! However, it's right at the negative back end of a bell curve, not at all an enjoyable activity with friends...

[davianne in reply to Jalanutan]

Oh Jal, you've sussed me 🤣🤣🤣. One of my mates back in the day , used to ignite his🔥🔥🔥, not very good from the environment😢😢😢.

I tried going vegetarian many years ago, way before it was trendy, but gave it up after complaints of constant flatulence😁😁😁

[Hidden in reply to davianne]

My older brother used to do the same trick with the matches 🔥🔥🤣 Thank you for re lighting an old funny memory ! 🤣 . He'd be 73 now!

[Jalanutan in reply to davianne]

Yeah, all that veg can stir up the methane factory hahaha

Fairly clean energy though!!!

[davianne in reply to Jalanutan]

What's the point of killing all the cattle, when we will just be producing the methane instead, and there's a lot more of us.......it's a Mad World😊😊😊

[davianne in reply to Jalanutan]

Maybe we will all have to be fitted with methane filters, but then why not do that to the cattle, then we can still enjoy a nice rare steak😋😋😋

[Jalanutan in reply to davianne]

I know, it's a crazy world... I believe it's been tried, producing methane on a farm to supply all the energy needs of the home. It worked so well, we never heard from it again...spooky hey! I guess they were offered an amount they couldn't resist, or forced out...I'm assuming the power companies were involved...

Rare steak??? You gotta slap it both sides on the hot plate at least, just to kill the bellow, lol hahahaha

[Hidden in reply to davianne]

Lol 👌🤣

[Hidden]

I agree Miles, maybe Alf should delete or amend 🤣

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

It actually works cause it's so equivocal, don't you think?

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

Very much so👍

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

Good to see the moderators are on the ball...

There was a really good interactive site named 'Depnet', which was like this, but also had a chat section. Unfortunately, a few members would become a little too involved and overstepped the boundary too often.

[Jalanutan in reply to Jalanutan]

Had a visitor... Ok, to finish... So, 'Depnet' is still there, but without the interactive part. Really , only the 'chat' part should have been deleted.

Being a site specifically for 'Depression', I know that I was more depressed when they axed it. The good friendships that were made withered...

So, due to a couple of idiots, we all suffered...

The moral is, if we all keep our posts etc to a high standard, then we all benefit; yes?

[Hidden in reply to Jalanutan]

That's such sad news when I'm presuming you must have made lots of wonderful friends then lost them👎. I'm so glad we have a PM section on here as I've made some amazing friends who I shall never loose! 👌

[Jalanutan in reply to Hidden]

This was 10yrs ago, but some us kept in touch via phone and email. Depnet was sooo good. A couple of times a member would voice their intention to suicide and twice, I had called our emergency #000, that's how close we were. One member actually did suicide and had posted that she would. We read it too late, but her husband found her password for 'depnet', and logged on to thank all of us for supporting her.

For those who are very private, and especially if they have few friends and no family, interactive sites like 'Depnet' and even the 'Liver Trust' substitute for a support group and help so many.

Ok, Cya

[Jalanutan]

Yeah, you think, 'What the...' hahaha