I don’t really feel a hell of a lot of positive vibes atm. What with pain, pain meds etc. Ok, I can say I am continuing to lose weight, though I haven’t stepped on a set of scales since I went to my gym last Wed. Yes, I know it’s only the other day, but it feels like a month. I have the staples out this Thursday, which is just 15 days since the hip-replacement. I’ve pulled in another notch on my belt, so I must’ve lost around 6kg since my violent change of life direction. I say that, cause I’m far enough down the abstinence track to look back at what happened.
Man, I’ve had some hairy days, but that very first day was like hog-tying a run-away steer at full gallop. I just had to get that one day under my belt, then build on it. Alcohol was killing me. I kept gaining weight, no matter what I tried. You all know alcohol lowers your will power and with me at least, that meant more alcohol with hot, salty, soggy chips. My lung function was suffering badly, motivation was almost non-existent, and my alcoholic lifestyle was becoming, feeling like normality; a habitual behaviour that was reinforced each day at 9am when the bottle shop opened down at the beach.
I feel I’m in another world now. My senses, that were sedated, dulled, are now accurately interpreting the outside world, I guess. Now that sounds a little out there, lol, but it’s like everything is new. I think I said in an earlier post that I was a bit freaked out by it, but my sight, taste, smell, hearing and touch are heightened. Walking each day, I can smell the grass, trees and that fresh, sweet smell of rain. I think the first week post-surgery, I was still affected by the anaesthetic, and the whole process was a distraction from the alcohol urges.
So now, I’m enjoying this experience. Hip’s healing well and this morning I felt I didn’t even need a stick. I’ve been given a forth chance at sorting out my life, and I’m not going to spoil it. With support, I feel I’m on my way to a new life, fit and back windsurfing, yeah!
Well, it started out a ‘Hot, Dry Desert’, because I just didn’t feel that talkative and had a sort of writer’s block. However, I found an oasis and promise of a better future.
So, thank you all for your encouragement, support and best wishes that helped heaps and I’ll post a day 60 as well.