Grieving..?: Can you cry so much that... - British Liver Trust

British Liver Trust

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Grieving..?

14 Replies

Can you cry so much that tears are done. I find myself just going through the motions. Songs we've liked have me at tears but they stop. I'm assuming this is normal grieving.

If I can help anyone by sharing. I dont mind sharing about ALL my husband has been thorough. Those of you who have to endure that pain and suffering, not knowing what's happening feel free to ask me anything.

14 Replies
AmericanDemocrat profile image
AmericanDemocrat

I am so sorry for your completely understandable grief. The tears will come and go of their own volition, so perhaps try not to pressure yourself about them. Would you like to tell us more about your husband? It might make you feel better to simply write to us about who he was as a person. I know so many people on this forum will care. Grief is simply awful. 🌷

davianne profile image
davianne

I am so sorry for the emotional pain you are suffering now. Having lost many loved ones, I know what hell it is. I found that initially I could not look at photos, listen to music, and handle the things they found so important. I was just left with my memories but this got better over time, and now I can enjoy my trips down memory lane without tears. I hope and pray that you eventually will be able to do this too.

David

IPCN profile image
IPCN

My heart goes out to you as I think of you alone listening to favourite songs you and your husband liked and the awful empty feeling you have. I’m sure your tears will return as well as happy memories before this terrible disease came. Reading through your previous posts describe the full horror of this dreadful disease and many people on this site have experienced this or nursed their loved one through it to either a miraculous outcome of transplant or sadly to end of life like yourself. You need time to heal now you have been through a horrendous time. You sound strong so hang on in there, you’re still in there somewhere. Go through the motions just now but hopefully peace and joy in life return soon. Thinking of you, love Pam x

Oh god, I still cry silently to myself 9 years on. Who said time is a great healer? Really? All time does is allow you to accomodate it, like a room you can eventually choose to visit rather than be permenantly trapped in it as you are right now.

Please do share your memories with us. Im sure it will help you. We are in a position to fully understand having a shared horrific experience. Others who haven't can only guess and offer what they think you need to hear like " you'll find someone else" or "you should be over it by now". What they dont realise is after the funeral, they can walk away and get on with their lives and think you can do the same. As you know the reality is you are left picking up the pieces of your life with a massive void in it and have to get used to living "a new normal".

There's no time limit to grief, dont fight it, you just have to go with it and accept it, it proves the love you had for your partner. Cry when you have to but laugh when you can. We are all here to support you.

Love and a huge hug.

Laura xx

in reply to

Thank you Laura your words were very comforting.

Millie09 profile image
Millie09

Bless you , I feel your pain.. I still cry even now as Laura said in her lovely post , you will cry, you will go through so many emotions, never try to think if what you are experiencing is right or not sweetheart.

God bless you xx

sunnysmile profile image
sunnysmile

Hi there, yes you can cry a river and then it ends - your brain wants you to rest a while. Listen to your body and go with it - it is there for you to heal.

Beautiful posts from beautiful peeps on here which is an honour to be included in.

Gwen x

solybananas profile image
solybananas

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my soulmate 3 week's ago after 46 years of happy marriage. She also had cirrhosis of the liver through alcohol, I have good days & some bad ones. I have to suffer another week until her funeral on Friday, maybe then I can start living once again. I hope you have family careing for you, I wish you well.

in reply tosolybananas

Im so sorry you lost your wife to alcohol too. Please don't be surprised if you come down with a bump after the funeral, thats when the reality of the finality really hits. Between the death and then you are kind of carried along on this wave of things to do and arrange with family (if you are lucky) to help. Its afterwards, when you are home and close the door and realise you are on your own without the person you shared your life with the most.

I felt a huge mixture of emotions from, relief that I no longer had an alcoholic in my life and all the problems that caused had gone. To the sadness anger and reality that I've lost my husband, lover, best friend and my children had lost their Father. The pressure that they were solely reliant on me now to guide them into adulthood and to be good, responsible people.

I wish you all the very best getting through the pain.

Laura x

I'm so sorry to hear of your very sad loss. Yes, you will cry a river and feel you can cry no more, the years do come and go. When you are ready tell us about your wonderful husband, it may help you. You are in my thoughts and prayers as are your children. Lean on others for support

With all my love Lynne xxxx

Smyally profile image
Smyally

So sorry for the pain you are going through. There are no hard and fast rules in grieving, just go with it. When you are ready I would love to hear about your wonderful memories of your husband. Please look after yourself and remember there are a lot people on here who care xxx

Thank you so very much for being willing to help others during your own grieving.

Thinking of you,

Mary

solybananas profile image
solybananas

Yes I've done the same I have to wait over three weeks before her funeral, but she is at peace now. Life must go for us folk left behind, we have find new things to do, my passion is my garden which will help in healing the rift left. I wish you well in time things will get a little easer.

Sand123456 profile image
Sand123456

Hi I'm sorry for your loss, yes it's hard. It's like a big emptiness. I think it comes in waves. Certain things will set the tears off, a song, a smell of their favourite scent, even the food you know they like in the supermarket. I find talking to that person as if they were still here helps me personally. I try focus on all the good memories we had. It's tough I know xxx

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