Thanks

[Ajeb75]

Just want to say thanks to u lovely people I'm having a bit of a meltdown after losing my husband but reading here makes lots of sense but I have got to say fight for god sake fight xx

[Hidden]

It's amazing isnt it? All of our lives we hear about pain and loss. We read about the events in newspapers and see it on TV. We read about its pain in poetry and hear its sorrow in music and its imagery in paintings. We spend our lives thinking we understand it and believe we can relate to the heartbreak of the author.

Then all of a sudden in moments like this. Moments when we ourselves become the writer do we realize how much we never fully understood its depth nor grasped the gravity of the desperation and despair it was created in until we have lived it for ourselves.

So many things in this world play roles in shaping who we are. Some subtle, some with more obvious notation. This has and will change the course of the history you will now lay behind in everyday moving forward. Your strength will be tested, your soul will bear scar, and your heart will be without a piece for the rest of your life. Documentation throughout human history proves Life after love is the most unbearable of existences. That being said you will strive forward. You will continue on. Your son will always give you meaning to do so. Never forget who you are even in the darkest rooms of your mind where your reflection seems hard to recognize because of the dim light. You are a survivor. Your husband lives on inside you now. You take care of yourself and raise that young man the way you and your husband intended. See him grow up and become the man you both wished him to be. Be humble and never feel afraid to be weak at times. You are a human and noone can expect more of you than that.

Keep in touch and take your time as you step. Noone is making you run ❤

[Ajeb75 in reply to Hidden]

Amazing words and true my friend its hard I'm trying n u even stop n think is the answer in a few beers as I have learnt no that's not where the answers lie that's not the way forward life is cruel before I met Chris life dealt it's blows I was strong he saved me from the dark side of life both his sisters took their life within 6 months of each other 4 years before he went we stood strong I was his rock him mine my issues became invisible now he gone they creep back but I think I am strong my son his my life now how we move on his a blur but for the life of me we will move forward xx thank u handsome for your lovely true words I will try my best xx hugs love God bless n dive into a bag of marshmellows with us x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Wow that’s poignant Phoenix. ...............

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Amazingly supportive reply. Thank you Hidden

[Smyally]

I can only echo what Phoenix has already said. My heart goes out you. Stay strong for your handsome young man and he will grow up strong. Take time to take care of you too. Sending love xx

[Ajeb75 in reply to Smyally]

Thank u I will continue the fight where so many failed xx

[Smyally in reply to Ajeb75]

Whatever you are feeling in the moment just go with it. Just seen your previous posts again and it’s still early days xx

[Ajeb75 in reply to Smyally]

I know xx I'm still awake at this time fighting the pictures the what if what haves I will make sense of things it's fresh yes but I know when things r wrong I will fight I need clarification and I will get it xx alcohol is a beast but the NHS is a bigger one xx lessons need to be learnt

[Radnor in reply to Ajeb75]

What happened to Chris's sisters is horrific. It highlights in an extreme way just how mental health services are failing so many people. He recognised you too was in a dark place and it sounds like he was determined to ensure you recovered. It possibly clarifies too why he drank. Its called self medicating, the drink seems to mask the torment. Sadly its the complete opposite, as alcohol causes depression. Its no comfort to you at present but it is perhaps an explanation as to why he could not stop. He helped you and you have a wonderful son , something to live for. Alcohol should carry a warning in big letters, Alcohol causes depression. As painful as it is for you at present, it is still very raw. Everyone on here wants to see you succeed, for your sake and your son. Chris sounds like he was a caring man, It was just one step too far to care for himself. Stay strong for your son, as he grows you will see his Dad in him . He left you a precious gift Hazelx

[Ajeb75 in reply to Radnor]

He was truly a amazing man xx

[Radnor in reply to Ajeb75]

Your son will be proud of him when he is older. He didnt want you to have the distress of knowing his drinking was so dangerous. Losing his 2 sisters was unbearable, but he found the strength to help you. This should bring you some comfort and peace in the future, its too raw at present. Be assured you didnt let him down in any way, beating the alcohol was just one step too far. x

[Hidden]

We are please to know that the forum is offering you support.

Take care

Trust1