British Liver Trust
12,446 members6,116 posts

No chance

Hi all, my partner will never have me back, the only thing I know how to block these feelings is to drink, I don't want to but it's all I can think of doing, thanks to all of you who have been supportive, you are truly amazing, so I'll probably check in on the odd occasion xxx

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No, please don’t. You’ll kill yourself if you go back to drink. Your daughter loves you and needs you (to be sober). I have been really low and not cared if I lived or died but, by God, as someone who has come out the other side all I can say is, stick with it . Your daughter is being a real star. Do you want the guilt/shame when you see the disappointment in her eyes? Really? Stay determined, stick with it. You know we are here for you,

Isabelle

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Hi Jeff. Don't try to block the feelings especially not by drinking you know that is not the answer. You have to face up to the feelings of your situation and deal with them sensibly and coherently. That is what I believe you need professional help with. Please see your doctor to help you arrange 1 to 1 councelling or residential rehab.

Let me know how you get on and not that you've ignored all the advice you're being given again.

L x

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Hi Jeff,

Read Anna’s posts before you decide to leave. 4 months off the booze and still struggling.

Brett

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It's a nightmare then grief on top I do no how you feel both of u .

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No chance of my so called partner ,yes I'm lonely me life was drink me company was drink me best mate drink .

Me pain in me body mind drink .

Honest to god stay off the drink it's killing me to say this to another person like I no it all but I'm ill and want some life I'm recluse now never had any mates ADHD don't really have and the only true people on here kept me going .

I'm not preaching but I care and I'm here and so many that don't ever drink are ther for you xxx

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Good advice IFF he takes it .couldn't of said it better myself xx

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Thanks if I can help one person in this life not go threw anything than I've lived.

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Faithful you are such a sweat heart. You deserve and you should have friends. You have friends on here my lovely ... big hugs xxx

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I'm sorry about your dad as mine died 17yrs ago and every day I grieve . Biggest hug and thinking of you .xx

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It's not funny but I'm on me own as the real me came out 3yrs sober but I'm sick of you must have a sneaky one I got ADHD people think Im on drink which really p... Me off .

My father never drunk and 61 yrs old he died organs failed .

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Nobody is making fun, this is my life and I'm throwing it all away, my daughter said come back back now I said no because I'm too stupid to let booze control me x

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My replys hard to understand as of me adult ADHD .

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The only sorry I'm giving is I meant to put in im not being funny .yes I no I confuse meself but the people that go to above and beyond to help me , so go go go a/e or GP of Aa . Good luck you need it .

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No your not stupid you no exactly what you need to do and if u keep upsetting putting people's backs up. And I'm an ex alcoholic who liver is worse so don't be a fool

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Hi Jojo.

I think there is a measure of frustration because of your previous reactions to any advice given to you. I guess people who have been where you are now and "been there, done that" feel they want to help you so very badly, hoping beyond hope you won't have to go through what they have.

Many of these people have and are going through the very worst time of their lives, but want that not to be the case for you. At the very least, listen, be a little grateful for the time and energy they are giving, of which they have short supply. In the end, it's not done to bash or criticise you, they genuinely want to help give you a shot of having a good, long, happy life. It really is what we all want for you. 😊

*Hug*

Cas xx 🌸

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Spot on reply Caspiana. These people just don't get it. I actually find this descent in standards worrying. This forum is for people who are very seriously ill with some of the most horrendous symptoms and presentations, and also for their loved ones, who suffer equally if not worse than the patients, to get support and information. If, when I came out of hospital, I'd have seen page after page of "Sharon and Tracy" tearing lumps out of each other then I would've not bothered joining. I joined because I thought that I'd found somewhere where people did know what I went/am going through and they were friendly and helpful. That is what this forum is for - not a foul-mouthed catfight. Take care

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I agree. I am new on this forum but have been on another forum for a long time. The level of hostility is quite surprising. I actually feel quite hesitant to participate fully. Thank you for your comment. 😃😊👍

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Well said, it's like a kids playground!! I only joined a few days ago, not a great start!!!

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Its not always the case when u have an illess sometimes u get angry at the world

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FOXMAN 555 are you listening to these texts ???

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I'm so weak why does this poison get into our system and carry on, I don't care anymore just let life do it's thing x

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I HAVE ADULT ADHD .I HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERY DAY IN FEAR DISPARE LONEY PAIN COMLEX PTSD AND IM SORRY I WOULD NOT PUT UP THINGS AS FIGHTING THE DRINK I WOULD NOT WANT TO MAKE PEAPLE FEEL BAD ABOUT ME LIFE BUT U GOT A YEAR TO LISTEN .let Mayer take its course what u on a bout

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But we're weak that's why we get in mess in the first place x

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U are taking the piss got enough people who are ill don't drink helping u think of what others are worste off and don't drink and don't say it's your fault well it is and it's my fault and the drugs and your posts are s creeping me out.

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Ment to put don't say not your fault and to add to that as having not drunk 3yrs I feel like beating me head against the wall as of I have nothing wrong at all I'm a so called one of the lucky ones well I'm discharged . I'm a miricle yes that how much harder it is when you have to fight to undo the shit you done live in the real world go threw hell on earth that's inbetween waiting if the liver not being monitored GP back to being refered waiting on the next neglect hospitals going make scared a/e really have no support now living in bedroom 3yrs fighting for help and that's nothing to do with liver multiple watch and wait if health don't kill me as of longing off recovery the .when I'm told the outcome of something else if released that will I'm in shock that I'm saying all this I'm in hell everyone on here is in one way or anther sorry but I'm fighting for everyone who has to suffer any injustice in this life

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Listen mate, you won’t be checking in on the odd occasion because you will be DEAD!! I take no pleasure in saying that but sometimes people need the truth.

I am 10 post transplant and I can’t thank the donor enough I have life and you can do but come on you gotta try harder

Huw

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10days

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11 months and life is fantastic

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Wow your coming up to the holy grail then (12months)my doctors reckon if you get to that without serious rejection issues you should be pretty much safe,have you heard that?

Huw

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Yes. I have residual (relatively small) probs relating to HE but haven’t had any liver infections or rejection issues. Touch wood!

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I immediately touched me head and wood when I read that bit as I say it and I sending u a hug and love and hope xx

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That was lovely reply

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I watched the football when Harry cane scored I think that's the name as it made me laugh .

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Please read the post I put I think i get in trouble again

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1football

I ain't no mental health specialist but been in enough mental health hospitals and one barbaric one the staff not patients .dont worry abroad but this kind of mentality makes me skin crawl .as I may gone ott but the words in post make me feel I can't explain it there is mental health, but there is also someone's wording ,and we are weak and nature take its course by drink well that's pure getting off on arguing when we trying help and as being alchole depended 24yrs I wanted to go on and on as of the pain and suffering and the truth I put I can't cope but it wern't I can't cope with no drink I'm gonna have one I could not do it or advertise it on here as I stopped being aggressive now sorry about that Hope your ok xx

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Sorry about this but I was looking at your reply to fox man555 I keep laughing as I could not stop going on at him he was weird .how you doing .

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Well that means you've already gone back on it an always will then at weakness weakness our kids should mean more than ourselves to us .it a sad foxman you've pressed that button .but want those like your Mrs to take you back IFF you stop but you'll always find the excuse to hit it again .won't You ?? I give up too and there's me thinking I could help you through the worst. How wrong we all are .There is your reason why people give up on you as you've gave up on yourself long ago.Have a nice life mate. Your gonna need help when it's too late ....sadly feel for ya bye

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Sorry Mandy I tried to be strong, I hurt my daughter by leaving, she thought I would be stronger, but I'm not, I just need a bit of bravery that you have xx

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YOU need a kick up the area foxman555 .seriously man .I'm not brave ,I'm finding life hard too .it may not be drink but that don't meanim not getting you,I just think you need to concentrate on the people you hurt that love you.own it an sort it out.you have to get to the point you've had enough and just stop drinking.not WHEN it's too late .your meant to be able to get help properly and want it bad enough to stop. Some of us have no chance I wanna stay here and your look in to die her.i 'll give ya the kick up the Jackie for you but how is it gonna change if u don't?? Xxx

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This is the most I've laughed you made me week I love your replys as its what I wanna put but in this mood of having a some people on the level then he makes you feel aggressive with the creepy we are weak and let nature take its course with he the attention seeking makes me sick as its sick atten seeking . I got ADHD 53yrs old daughter got it 33yrsold we really have I'm on the highest dose and would never do what he's doing I think I grey told off as I posted another to him

Xx

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I've said it before I'll say it again .... you need residential rehab

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Yes definately not only for the drink .

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I can't stop reading your posts as there the things I say sorry it made me laugh as I bet he. Thinks these two ain't stopped me and you but sometime u click with and some like to be him getting sympathy help them comes out with another right creepy STATMENT anyway ,me love I think I better get off here sending you love hugs and some peace of mind .

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Thank you FAITHFULL,your message made me smile too.its funny how someone can have the same humour .still I hope he is ok ,I know what you mean though some do want pitying but I think it's because inside they know they are very sad and cannot deal with their own feelings .Needing much help though they need to get proper expert help .Their are so many cutbacks even that's hard as with mental health the 2 go hand in hand I believe. You have to fight for what you feel you need to do OBVIOUSLY that's the hard part. Xx THANKS for your message, hugs back .Take care 😁😁

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Has anybody heard of spontaneous bacterial peretinitis ?? Got that one wrong but I suffer with that as well xx

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I have now . Are you getting support outside NHS like a group or something as you sound like someone I no sorry just wondered

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Hi love, you have to do it for yourself. That's all you can think of in these situations, it's almost impossible to consider other people. You are what matters right now. I've been there probably 100's of times myself. You know deep down it will only make you feel far worse, it's just a quick fix for a few hours. It's the enemy love, not your friend or your saviour. You're a lovely person, people (including us) would miss you terribly. We're here for you regardless xx

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Hi I just go on one, don't know when to stop, thinking how stupid am I but I can't stop, thanks for your message xx

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I'm the same, or was. Please don't overdo it as you'll feel so horrible tomorrow :( xx

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Get professional help and advice .Rehab ,new mates ect

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No you can't stop making people who are trying to help u feel aggressive . Please stop as you you are making you ill stop making others feel like this you happy now learn some empathy .

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Attention seeker.

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Foxman!! I’ve only just seen this so you’ve probably gone out and done it anyway. The other day you were so PROUD that you had done 11 days. Focus on how that made you feel. Ok so you’ve slipped up today, get back on that wagon again tomorrow and don’t let one person be your excuse for not trying to stay alive. You are better than that. You’ve got to want it for yourself and get all the help that is available to you Ok lecture over. Take care

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Foxman555 start fresh right this second. Do it for yourself,

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Hi foxman. Life is hard. Everyday can be a problem to get through. Pity parties are easier where we feel we can't change things. The trouble is they don't really help either. They make us more lonely. They make us feel worse about ourselves and make us turn to things that are not really any good for us and make us worse. Mine is comfort food. I stress and I eat. I eat the wrong things. That helped get me in the situation in now in. I've lost some weight and my liver started improving. I got stressed and started back down the slippery road again. I'm fighting again to improve my diet. It isn't that I don't know what to do it is that coping with so many things is hard. Fighting all the time is hard. Trouble is I don't like the me I see in the mirror and the comfort eating makes me dislike me more. How about we both work with everyone here and Take a day at a time trying to fight the things making us worse and only pretending they make us feel better.

Take care

Gill x

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....and addiction wins again. Maybe someday you love yourself more than the addiction until then, my thoughts are with your daughter, and her family, your grandchildren, that will one day have these memories of you. I know I am living it now.

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Keep making brews (tea) and go to bed early. Thats what I did. 4 months off for me. Even went on holiday and no urge. Never thought I could have a laugh without it but you CAN! Keep going. If you are back on it, forgive yourself, dont dwell on it and dont drink today xxx

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Foxman, 22 days ago you were having a go at me, saying “have I not got the right to grieve” now I have just read that your father died 17 years ago. Well my mother died coming up to 3 years ago, and the only way I can honour her memory is not to drink. You need help, but won’t go and get it. Only you can do something about this nobody else. As has been said do you really want to die, because that is exactly what will happen. Let me assure you it won’t be pretty, it will be a slow painful demise. Over the years I have heard your story from countless people. Unless you are willing to get some help and change, your life like some of theirs will go. It’s a sad statistic but it is the truth. Go see your GP, get referred to a rehab and grab that opportunity with every ounce of strength you can muster. Then and only then will you have a chance to stay clean and slowly regain the trust of your loved ones. When someone gets clean, you may have already done too much damage to your family, and not every story has a “happy ever after” ending. You have to start and start now, you have run out of excuses long ago, and just like me you want someone to listen to you and you have found this forum. Whilst people are extremely well intentioned with their encouragement, it actually isn’t helping you. I hope you read this and understand I want you to get well, but only you can do it.

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Perfectly said xx

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There is only so much that can be said. Do what you want to do Jeff.

Brett

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Foxman, sometimes it's for the best. It took me a year to figure out that he was the messed up one, quit drinking and smoking and had a much better life without him. Someone new came along with a bigger heart and I never really felt I needed to drink anymore. Feel better and take care of you.

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Hi I'm new on here so Hi everyone. I was drinking for about 30 years, I'm 52 this year. Alcoholic probably, thought I'd never quit the drink but all it took was your liver is getting damaged blood tests ultrasound Fatty Liver and enlarged spleen. Fibroscan 9.7kpa scarring blood tests coming down. I'll tell you what that was enough to sh*t me up I quit and there's NO fu**ing chance I will drink again. And of course there's the liver pain to remind me. I've lost alot over booze. Never Again.

Mark.

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Same as me was you a mod back in the day as I was and a skinhead and a punk it's the name I probably got it all wrong .

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Yup Still a Mod now!

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Oh was beggining of last August I quit and still going well!!

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Hi Foxman555. I was very addicted to booze I was drinking 7+ cans of Kestrel Super in the evening a nightmare. I've lost 2 marriages and countless relationships down to that poisan we call booze, Over the years I'll have a drink I'm happy today, I'll have a drink i'm pissed off. I'll have a drink for any reason, any excuse to drink climbing the walls if i couldn't drink. I've been reading your posts I've been there and you need to stop and stop NOW. If I can do it you can do it or you will lose everything, your life your daughter and grandkids. Is it really worth it? No. Get to your GP and get the help you need before it's too late. I have my kids and I'm very good friends with my first wife and they have supported me. So quit man for everyones sake!

Mark.

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What happened to fox man 555 he was not well .and im not on about his liver .?

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Foxman - at the beginning someone accused you of self pity and I defended you. Now, however, you ARE guilty of self pity and you are using that as an excuse to return to drinking. The addiction is doing that to you. DON'T LET IT! You are stronger than you know but you MUST get help. Why haven't you sought help before if you're serious about turning your life around?. We're all here for you but we're not sitting beside you holding your hand and that is what you need now. Love Carole

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He would have got medical assistance with detox like what was mentioned in several posts but he didn’t. He isn’t strong enough to do it alone. It’s that simple. Drink = Death. He has made his choice and he knows the consequences of his actions. He is not ready to man up yet. This is really not the forum for him. If he ever is ready to learn then he knows where we are. In the mean time, do what you want to do Jeff.

Enough said!!!!

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I don't think this is the right website for you.You need help to stop drinking.People who are suffering from liver issues (Some through no fault of their own) have taken the time to message you countless times.

You are full of self pity and obviously not strong enough to give up alcohol on your own.

You have already lost your partner and possibly your family all because you have no will power to say no to alcohol.

I wish you the best and hope you get the help you need but I don't think this website is place for you.

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Its realy not worth letting booze win once you start to get better its a fantastic feeling of well being and achievement you’ll have so much energy

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RESIDENTIAL REHAB JEFF. Give your daughter a break while you are taught how to stop drinking. You've proved you can't do it alone. Come back to your daughter with all the tools you will have learnt about how to beat it and gain self respect and she will respect you in return. Stop being so damn stubborn !!!

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Has anyone heard from Jeff? Is he OK? Thinking of you if you're around Jeff xx

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Got the feeling from his post at the top of this thread that he’s only going to check backed occasionally. Shame because he really does need help

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Suspect you're right. It's a horrible way to feel - I've shut myself off from people when drinking. Guess he has to reach out when he's ready .

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